Sherry Ficklin - Extracted

“I guess so.”

“Well, there we have it,” I say. “The Dox should work this time. Let’s go put it in the vortex.” I point to the looming clouds in the distance.

“That’s the other thing,” Ember says. “The guidelines say, in order to have a successful closure of the paradox, we have to set it off at a Fixed Point in time.”

“Like the one you created with the key?” Ethan asks.

“Yeah. You think we can go back inside that loop?”

Ethan cringes. “Um, we kind of broke that one, I think.”

“The vortex appeared in Tesla,” I say, putting the pieces together. “We can’t go back inside that loop again. The paradox is already there. I think,” I’m hesitant to say the words aloud, “I think the paradox is eating time.”

“So, what? Is there another Fixed Point we can use?” Stein asks, looking at Ethan.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Well, you went to school for this kind of thing, right?” she asks, folding her arms over her chest.

“I know when,” Ember says, the color fading from her cheeks. “The only other Fixed Point I know of.” She turns to me, putting a hand on my arm. “Lex, we have to go back to Ekaterinburg.”

“Ekaterinburg?” Ethan and Stein ask in unison.

I nod. “We have to go back to the night our family was killed.”

EMBER

It’s dark when we spill onto the gardens beside Ipatiev House. The tall wooden fence, constructed to hold us prisoner, blocks out any light from nearby homes. The stale, rotten scent of gunpowder clings to the air, stifling me. In the distance, I hear the cries of battle as the rebels make their way toward us. I hear other things, too. Things I shouldn’t hear. The whir of helicopter blades and the boom of cannon fire. For a moment, I can’t breathe as panic tightens around me like a vise.

“I still don’t like leaving them behind,” Lex says, tugging on the strap of the Tether attached to his arm.

Truthfully, I don’t either. I’d give just about anything to have Ethan here with me. But the need to protect them is stronger. According to Tesla’s notes, the Dox will explode like a bomb when detonated, searing the paradox closed. Neither Lex nor I know what kind of damage it might do to the people setting it off. So we kept it quiet, let the others think we were going to gather supplies, and then snuck out alone. Hopefully, by the time they notice we’ve gone, this will all be done and over with.

“I know,” I whisper. “But—” I don’t want Ethan to see this, I realize, not finishing the thought out loud. Maybe that’s the real reason.

The grim visage of the House blurs into view as my eyes adjust to the darkness. It’s cold for July, but that’s the Urals for you. Even the summer holds a deathly chill. Or maybe it’s just this place—being here again. Inside those doors, my family has just been woken from a dead sleep. I remember my older sister Olga being excited. She thought we were finally being moved to safety in exile. But Tatiana was grim as she dressed. I don’t think she ever expected to taste freedom again.

Guilt gnaws at me from the inside out. How long has it been since I’ve thought of my sisters? How long since I cried for them? I can’t even remember. From the minute I got my memories back, all I could think of was finding Lex.

“I haven’t gone to put flowers on their graves,” I whisper. If they even have graves. The thought chokes me.

Lex speaks gently, but his voice is strained and low.

“There will be time for that.”

I hope he’s right.

Only Lex’s hand in mine keeps me calm, keeps the despair from pulling me under. I hear boots moving through the grass and pull Lex down so we are hiding beneath the bushes as they pass. The moonlight glints off the steel of their bayonets and I shudder. Lex squeezes my hand. I almost wish I hadn’t left Ethan behind. I could use some of his strength right now. But it’s better. I don’t want him to see this—see me like this. It’s too much.

I can feel my insides trying to shut down, trying to block out the painful memories of the fifty-five days we were held captive here. But I can’t. Over and over they rush through me, leaving me feeling raw and exposed. Glancing over, I can see Lex is having similar issues. His face is ghostly white, and the muscles in his jaw twitch as he grinds his teeth.

Then I see what he’s fixed on. Two soldiers are standing on the porch of the house, smoking. They are laughing. Knowing what is about to happen to our family, they are laughing. I turn away from them, but the image is seared into my brain.

“Lex. We have to do this quickly before—”

I’m cut off by the pop of gunfire. Someone screams. I think it’s my mother. I feel Lex tug me forward, but my legs refuse to move. It’s as if I’ve turned to stone. Dropping my hand, Lex rushes for the house, but before he clears the garden he hits some invisible barrier and bounces off, falling on his back in the dirt.

He groans. “What the—?”

One of the laughing guards has gone inside, but the other hears us and walks over. Something in my brain fires off and I can move again. Motioning for Lex to stay down, I circle behind the man. He sees Lex and tries to draw his gun, but I’ve already slipped it from his holster. The guard turns, confused, and for a brief minute I think I’m going to kill him. I can do it. I want to do it. I’m not sure what stops me, but I swing the gun around and slam it into the side of his head, knocking him out cold.

“You should have just shot him.” Stein’s voice comes from the dark garden, startling me. Stein and Ethan emerge from behind the bushes. She glares at us, her arms folded across her chest. “You two are so predictable.”

Ethan walks over and offers Lex a hand up, then pulls me into his chest.

“Never do that again. We’re a team, Ember. You and me. Okay?” he whispers through my hair.

All I can do is nod because I’m crying and my voice won’t work properly. I’m just so glad to see him. I want to ask him to take me from this terrible place, to go somewhere the memories can’t do me any more harm. As if such a place exists.

But I don’t. We have to fix this, here and now. I pull back and wipe my eyes.

Lex moves to hug Stein, but she slaps him across the face. The sound makes me wince.

“You are an idiot,” she says, glaring at him.

He holds the side of his face, but he’s smiling as if he expected no less.

More gunshots go off and I tense. Each pop makes me spasm as if the bullet is hitting my body. But I know I’m not in that room with the rest of my family. I don’t die with them this night. Maybe that’s my fate. Listening to people I love dying, over and over again. Unchangeable. But it still hurts like a knife in my heart. Ethan’s arms tighten around me again and he leans forward, trying to shield me from the sound with his body.

We are told the upstairs is no longer safe, that rebels are coming for us. They lead us down to the basement, but Alexei isn’t with us, so Father sends me after him. The rest of the household joins the family in the basement. Alexei must have thought, like Olga, that we were being evacuated. He is packing when I find him. Trying to stuff all his trinkets into a tiny pillow like Mother had done with the royal jewels.

In the distance, lightning strikes, bringing me out of the memory. The paradox is moving quickly. It’s here now, coming for us, the people who tore it asunder. It will eat us to repair itself if we let it. It might eat everything. The whole world destroyed for the life of one girl.

I look at Stein, and I can’t say I regret the decision. I can see now why Lex is so fond of her. She deserves to live. She’s strong and brave, and smart and beautiful. Maybe it’s only because of how she was raised—a child of the Hollows. But maybe, just maybe, she’s exactly who she was always supposed to be. Maybe we all are.