Peter David - Out of the Darkness

“Stop it!” He felt as if what remained of his soul were being shredded. “Stop it, Mariel! You don’t know what you’re saying!”

“Yes, I do! I have heard it in my head, night after night, when I dreamt of you coming for me. It is all that matters, it is the only thing, it—”

“It s not real!”

He had not expected to say it. He had not wanted to say it. For years, the guilt he had carried within him had given him no peace, but he had still been sure that he would be able to contain the dark truth of what he had done. What was to be gained from telling her? Nothing. And yet when the words burst from him, he knew it was because his presence in her life was a lie, and he could not allow her to live it anymore. It was the only chance she had of divesting herself from the hellish existence that she currently endured. He had to try to undo the damage he had done to her.

She stared at him in confusion. “Not… real? What is not… real?”

“This thing you…” He took a breath and then turned to Senna. “Please… I need to talk to Mariel alone. Please.”

Senna didn’t understand, but she did not need to. “As you wish,” she said, and she took Vir’s hands in hers briefly and squeezed them. Then she walked quickly from the main room, the door shutting behind her.

Vir went back to Mariel, took her hands in his, and said, “You’re under a spell.”

“A spell.” She repeated the words, but with no real comprehension.

“A technomage named Galen put it on you, at my request. I was… I was angry because 1 knew you had used me, to get in good with the other diplomats on Babylon 5 . I knew you laughed at me behind my back. And I…” He looked down. “… I told myself that I had him do it to help the cause. So that I could bend you to my will, turn you back on the people who’d sent you to spy on me. But that was an excuse. I did it from petty revenge, and it was beneath me, and I’ve ruined your life, and I’m sorry. Great Maker, the words don’t mean anything, but I am. I’m sorry.”

“Vir…”

“Londo. Londo can help. He can grant you a divorce from Durla, and you can start over in a new life. We’ll get you set up somewhere, I can—”

“Vir, it’s all right.”

He stopped talking and stared at her. “All right? How is it all-right?”

“I saw. I saw the way Senna looked at you, and you at her. How she held your hand a moment before leaving. You think,” and she laughed, “you think that I would not want to share you. That my love for you is so overpowering that I would be jealous of other women in your life.” She stroked his cheek. “If you want both Senna and me, that is perfectly all right. Whatever makes you happy…”

“Mariel, I don’t love you! Don’t you see? I can’t ever! Be cause any feelings you’d return for me were made for you by Galen!”

Her face flushed. “I don’t know why you’re saying these things. 1 know my mind! I know how I feel! No wizard put these thoughts into my head! You’re just… testing me, that’s it. Testing me… wanting me to prove my love to you, to—”

“No! I don’t! It’s—”

Suddenly the door at the far end of the room slid open. The guards were standing there, with Senna in between them.

“The emperor will see you now,” Senna said gravely.

“He is not supposed to be in here!” one of the guards said.

“I heard her cry out,” Vir said immediately. “I was outside and when I heard her cry of alarm, I thought that perhaps one of those saboteurs or someone like that was attacking Durla’s wife. So I thought I would check, because there were, after all, no guards outside,” he added pointedly. He bowed to Mariel, and asked solicitously, “Will you be all right, milady?”

Mariel, looking at him with limpid eyes, whispered, “I will prove my love.” Vir felt ill.

Vir looked ill.

At the very least, there were times when he had certainly looked better.

It is amusing the way things work out sometimes. There I was, speaking with Dunseny, saying to him, “You know what I desire more than anything? I would like to share a pleasant dinner with my old friend, Vir. Do you think that could be arranged?”

At that moment, in walked Senna with two guards. They stood stiffly at attention, as if they were awaiting orders. I had no idea what they wanted me to say. I looked to Dunseny, but he clearly had no better idea than I did. “Can I help you?” I inquired.

“We were told that you desired our presence, Highness,” one of them said.

I didn’t know what he was talking about. But I saw Senna standing behind them, nodding her head. Obviously this was some sort of childish prank and, to be honest, I thought it might prove amusing. I think I am someone very much in need of more childishness in my life. I found my head nodding in time to Senna’s own. “Yes… yes,” I said. “As a matter of fact, I would like you to bring me Vir Cotto.”

The guards exchanged glances. “The ambassador to Babylon 5 ?”

“The very same,” I said. “I… believe I know where he can be found, Highness,” Senna said. “He is actually here, in the palace.”

I was astounded. Rarely do things work out for me as conveniently as that. “Escort him here at once!” I commanded the guards. As Senna led the apparently puzzled guards out, I turned to Dunseny, and said, “Have a meal prepared and brought up. Vir and I shall… chat…”

“At once, Highness,” Dunseny said, and he went out to attend to my wishes.

The dinner was brought up mere moments before Vir arrived, escorted by Senna. “You will pardon me if I do not get up, Vir,” I said. “My stamina is not quite what it used to be.”

“Of course, of course,” he said.

The food was laid out between us, and I gestured for everyone to leave us. Of course… I myself am never alone, but that is neither here nor there.

“So… Vir. What has brought you around?” I proceeded to eat heartily, displaying an appetite that was merely for show.

“Do I need an excuse to visit my Homeworld?” he asked. He wasn’t touching any of the food in front of him. Perhaps he thought it was poisoned. If it were poisoned, I probably would have eaten it myself.

“Of course not. Of course not.”

And we proceeded to chat. The conversation was strained at first, but as the time passed, the degree of comfort grew. He seemed guarded, even suspicious, and who could blame him really? After all, once before when we were together, I knocked him out and he wound up in a cell. For all he knew, this would be a repeat performance.

Really, it was not an important conversation, when one gets right down to it. Indeed, my memory is playing tricks on me. Much of what we discussed is gone from my head already. The drink, no doubt. However, there was one aspect that he seemed to find most… interesting.

“There is a Human work of literature that I stumbled over, Vir, that reminded me a bit of you and I.”

“And what would that be, Londo?”

“The work of one Miguel de Cervantes. A book called Don Quixote. I’m in the middle of reading it, but it seems most fascinating. It is about a man with a most odd hobby. Do you appreciate odd hobbies, Vir? You have one or two yourself, I think.”

He sat there for a moment, his face impassive. “We all have our hobbies, Londo, and each of them might seem odd to someone who doesn’t participate in it.”

“Oh, absolutely. But this fellow, this Don Quixote… I thought you might appreciate his particular hobby. I don’t know why I did. But I did.”