Jacqueline Druga - Healing

I really don’t know what to write. I’m not feeling any better. We had tuna casserole yesterday; I think that’s what it was. It was good. Mick didn’t really give us a choice, we had to eat it. A lady brought it by.

Tigger and Mick are still sleeping. I fell asleep for a little bit, but I had another nightmare. I don’t tell anyone, not even Mick, about my nightmares. Maybe because I’m thinking he’s got his own to deal with.

I dreamt of my brother. I always dream of my brother. Not Tigger, but Dustin. Tigger is young. I don’t think he knows yet what happened. He asks all the time about Mom and Dustin. He nods when we tell him they ain’t coming back, but I don’t think he understands.

I’m glad about that. The less he knows, the less he will hurt.

Last night me and Mick looked at pictures of my mom and Dustin and our old life.

I kept thinking how it was Monday.

Monday was me and Dustin’s night. We watched wrestling every Monday. He was my best friend in the whole world. We had big plans and now they’re gone. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna even wanna grow up and do things without my brother?

It hurts to even think about him. It hurts to think about my mom. She was my hero. I wish I would have told her that.

I’m scared, cause I know they’re gone and I’m afraid I’ll forget what they look like or sound like. I’m so glad Mick has that phone.

It’s worth more than all the food and water in the world. I just hope that phone never breaks, never stops working, because in that phone is all I have left of them.

I know it sounds stupid, but that’s how I feel.

I just miss them so much. It’s wrong, it’s so wrong what happened.

We all take it one day at a time. Right now, I just hate the days because I don’t have my brother and mom anymore.

Just sucks.

The knock on the camper door surprised Mick. He was cleaning up after breakfast, the boys were working on a puzzle. He wanted them to go out, mingle with the other kids, but neither of them showed any interest.

Ethan stood in the doorway when Mick opened it. “Sorry, to bother you,” he said.

“No. No bother. Did you want to come in?”

Ethan lifted his hand waving it back and forth. “There are two reasons, I came by. One… later this afternoon, I wanna gather up some of the kids and take them fishing. We try to hit the lake every couple days. Catching is good. Wanted to invite you and your boys.”

“We’ll be happy to join you.”

“Great. A-and the o-other thing is…” Ethan stammered some, almost nervous about approaching Mick, “I don’t have many men in this camp. I realize you aren’t staying, but Liam’s back is bothering him and I was wondering if I can pull you away to help me check out Rosemont.”

“I’m sorry, Rosemont?”

“Small town about twenty miles west of here. They finished their flu less than a week ago. Heard it was a long, dragged out thing there. Thought they beat it, didn’t, it came back sort of thing.”

Mick twitched his head. “I’m confused.”

“Small towns got hit last, you know.”

“I’m well aware,” Mick said.

“I been hitting them. Can’t get into the cities, which saddens me.”

“Ethan, I understand that. Are you going to the town for supplies?”

“No… for kids. A lot of kids are left alone. We been bringing them here until we can figure out what to do with them.”

Mick heard a shuffle behind him and looked back; Chris had stood up. Obviously it caught the young boy’s attention.

Ethan continued. “I suppose in while it will be futile, but I wanna try. At least I can say I tried. I’d go alone, but I just want back up in case there is trouble. Haven’t seen trouble in a while, thank God.”

Mick lowered his head. “I… I can’t leave my boys, I’m sorry.”

“Mick,” Chris exclaimed, “you have to go. I’ll watch Tigger. I’m grown enough.”

“And my mom is right nearby,” Ethan said. “I know you don’t have reason to trust us, but it’s safe here. I promise. We won’t be gone more than two hours.”

Mick opened his mouth to talk and Chris interrupted. “And you don’t have reason not to trust him either, Mick.”

Open mouthed, Mick turned to him. “I can’t leave you boys and I don’t want to take you.”

“I said I can watch Tigger,” Chris huffed. “You have to, Mick.”

“Why are you so insistent about this, Chris?”

“Because, what if there are kids in this Rose town? Which, by the way, has the same name as your mom. It’s a sign, Mick. And wouldn’t you want someone to come get me and Tig, if we were all alone in this world?”

Ethan pointed. “That’s a bright, caring kid there.”

“Yeah, yeah, he is.” Mick nodded. “I’ll grab my coat, be right with you.”

“Thank you. I’ll let my mother know to keep an ear out.”

Mick shut the door. “You put me on the spot,” he told Chris.

“Yeah, well, I can’t believe you don’t want to go.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to go….”

“You’re afraid, huh?” Chris asked. “It’s okay to be afraid.”

Mick closed his eyes. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing. It was me not wanting to leave you, but that’s settled. Let me find my jacket and gun.” Mick slipped by Chris. But he wasn’t honest, he was afraid. Not of anything bad or possible trouble, but more so of what he’d find. It had been a while since the flu. If a child survived the flu, what were the chances that they survived… life? Mick wasn’t quite sure he could take seeing anymore bad.

Tom watched the third truck pull down the main street of Lodi. He’d been going since sunrise, making plans for survival runs, getting food and supplies, then determining a distribution center. Lodi had acquired a few more residents in the last couple days. Tom worried. He didn’t want to take on any leadership position, but with Mick gone and not really stepping up to the organization plate, Tom figured someone had to so it. The two guys from the CDC were more concerned about the national level.

Tom worried about Lodi. That was it. What happened outside of it, well, that wasn’t his concern.

He made a notation on his clipboard and turned around, surprised to see Lars Rayburn standing there.

“You’re up early,” Tom said. “Aren’t you the noon riser?”

“I used to be before this ordeal,” Lars said. “But this morning, I went out with Will and guess what?”

“I’m game, what?”

“Looks pretty steady on the power and landlines. Nothing giving way.”

“Now, if we can just get word out to others on how to get things up and running,” Tom said. “Maybe we should think about sending Will and someone else out there to help.”

“That’s possible. But is it safe?” Lars asked. “Have we heard anything?”

Tom shook his head. “When all this started going down, there was some trouble. Since then, haven’t heard much. Wish there was a way to get in touch with Mick. Hopefully he’ll bring back some insight. But to be honest, Lars, my concern isn’t going out for food now. There’s plenty out there, lying around. But for how long? There were no crops this year, everyone got sick. It’s time to start planning long term,” Tom said. “And to be honest, I’m not knowing where to begin.”

The town of Rosemont wasn’t all that different from Lodi. It was set off a highway, nestled back off the back roads. There wasn’t a town square, just businesses.

“How do you propose finding these kids?” Mick asked Ethan.

“Like I do in every town. First I ask, then I drive the residential streets. Looking for signs. The flu hit in the summer, so I look for bikes, toys, swing sets, stuff like that. Then I listen. You get real quiet and you listen. With no sounds of life, it’s easy to hear a crying kid.”