Jacqueline Druga - Protocol One

Letting everyone know that I would be back and worried about him, I followed.

“Tony.” I called.

He stopped, never turning around, and then Tony just dropped to his knees in emotional defeat. I raced to him, but the second I drew close, he held up his hand to keep me back.

“Tony, look…”

“I need to be alone,” He said, never looking at me. “Please.”

“Ok, but if you need me…”

His hand only rose.

I stepped back. I couldn’t possibly imagine what he was dealing with. The inner turmoil was evident all over his face and through his reactions. What he was feeling had to be horrible. I felt helpless; there was nothing I could do for any party in the situation. Not Tony or the baby.

All I could do was to do as requested. In regards to Tony, his request was to let him alone.

I granted him that, and walked back to the van.

An hour after we pulled over I heard the baby cry for the first time. It was a soft, irritated whimper that was music to my ears.

I made up some plates of food using rations and left over MRE’s and I passed them out to everyone.

“What’s wrong with my dad?” Joie asked. “Is he sick?”

She sat on Nelly’s lap. I handed her food.

Nelly answered. “Yeah, he is. He got something called car sickness. Happens sometimes. He’ll be fine.”

“He’s not mad at me, is he?’

“Why would you say that?” Nelly cradled her. “Of course, not. Do you want to bother with anyone when your tummy is yucky?”

Joie shook her head.

“Eat.” Nelly instructed.

They seemed fine so I let them be. I grabbed more food and headed over to Jackson. He sat with Skyler.

“You guys okay?” I asked.

Skyler nodded.

“What about him?” Jackson asked, used his head to indicate Tony.

I looked behind me. It was getting dark and Tony was still sitting in the field. “I don’t know.”

“It’s tough,” Skyler said. “It’s a tough situation. Even in the line of duty it isn’t easy. He’ll be okay. Let him deal.”

With my final run for food, I walked over to the van. Melissa and Duke backed away as I approached. Craig sat on the edge of the back.

I shivered when I saw the baby. He looked so small and helpless. An IV ran into his arm. His other arm was bandaged and he was secured to a board.

“How is he or she?” I asked.

“He.” Craig replied. “Stable. He lost a lot of blood. Thankfully, the bullet only cut through the arm. I stopped the bleeding. But whether we can save the arm in the long run remains to be seen. The shock of blood loss was what caused it to be touch and go. But, he did sustain injuries in the fall. Hopefully, nothing internal. I’m not seeing signs of that. More collar and head trauma. He’s responding. That’s good.”

I exhaled loudly. “That is good. How old is he?”

“Maybe six months.”

“Will he make it?” I asked.

“I think so,” Craig replied. “I hope so. What’s best right now is to keep the fluids pumping. I also need to keep him immobilized for a while and let the antibiotics finish. Meaning, what’s best for him right now is not to move.”

“For how long?”

“Three more hours. I know it’s ten hours until…”

I held up his hand. “We will wait until you say it’s good to go. Do what you need to do.” I glanced down at the child. “We all have to do what we can to preserve our future and that child is the future.”

Darkness had fully set upon us by the time we were getting ready to leave. I tossed aside any optimism I had about having a free and clear remaining route. It wasn’t going to happen. Sure, it was possible, but with the state of things, chances were we were racing against a clock that was going to beat us anyway.

The entire journey to that point had been maddening and rushed. We were already too late, in my opinion, to beat the comet. Yes, it was still possible, but I wanted to focus on not just getting there, but getting there in one piece.

I was familiar with the phases of the post impact. I knew how much time we really had before things would get impossible.

Duke lit a fire to give us some light and then rearranged the bags and cargo in the van for room. Tony returned from the field and sat off to the side, alone. No one talked to him, not because he was ostracized, but more so because no one knew what to say.

Skyler insisted that he would speak when he was ready.

My patience was almost at an end. After I told the others to get the van ready to go, I walked over to Tony with a cup.

“I can use a drink,” I said. “But since I’m driving, I need you to have one for me. Drink up. We’re leaving.”

Tony lifted his dark eyes to me. The usually ‘all together, cool calm and sarcastic’ Tony was a mess. I felt it when I looked at him. He took the cup, took a swig, then looked down to it. “What did I do, Anna?”

“What did you do? How can you ask that?”

“I shot a baby.”

“No, Tony, you shot the father. You had no idea about the child. And if that man cared about that, he would have used the child to get into the van instead of a weapon.”

“Does it make it right?”

“What is right or wrong now? We watched things fall apart in two days. That man threatened you, me, your daughter. By even aiming that gun at you, he threatened to take from your child. And I have no doubt he would have fired.” I reached down and inched that cup over for him to drink more. “I’m still trying to figure out how you got out of that one.”

“Instinct.”

“Well, thank you for that instinct. Now my instinct is kicking in. I gave you the time. Now you need to get past this.”

Tony finished his drink but his head lowered once more. “I feel so guilty.”

“Yeah, well, let me tell you something about guilt that I once heard. Something someone told me recently.”

Tony looked at me.

“Now is not the time for guilt. Now is the time to focus on surviving. You leave guilt behind you and keep going. Your child is what is important. You did what you did for your child.”

Tony cracked a partial smile. “Those are pretty cool words.”

“Yeah, well some pretty cool guy said them to me.” I winked.

“The baby…”

“The baby is going to be fine.”

“For sure?”

“Yes. Craig thinks so. The bullet cut through the arm. That’s fixed. He’s stable. He took a tumble when the father did, but he’ll get well. I feel it. Children are resilient. What about you?” I held out my hand.

Tony grabbed it and stood. “I’m pretty resilient, too.”

“Good. Because…I need you, Tony. I really need you.”

He breathed out a long exhale through his nose and nodded. He stepped closer, placed his hand to the back of my head and whispered, “Thank you.” Pulling me closer, he lowered his lips to my forehead and kept them there for a few seconds, then stepped back. “Thank you.”

“We ready?”

“We’re ready.” He placed his hand on my back.

“Let’s do this.”

Everyone was loading into the van as we walked over.

“Do you have the keys?” Tony asked.

“I’m driving.” I replied as I walked to the driver’s side. “You’ve been drinking.”

There was an exchange of looks in that moment. Glances between us that conveyed, ‘All will work out’.

I got in the van.

We had to head out.

One more stop.

The clock was ticking and it was ticking fast.

August 1

Outside Akron

Something happened on the six hour route from Indianapolis to Akron. As the wee early hours of the morning crept up, we saw fewer cars and then only an occasional car. By four in the morning we didn’t see a single vehicle. Except for the lone police car that pulled us over.