Jacqueline Druga - Under the Gray Skies

“Yeah, a little tipsy and I’m gonna try to sleep.” I leaned with my back against the side of the bus and made a make shift bed.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard someone announce we had crossed into Virginia. I opened my eyes again, looked across to Lacey. She smiled and I gave her a thumbs up.

Then it happened.

The course of events, were embedded in my mind forever. There was a tremor, ever so slight, but with the roads being slick, the bus swerved. It was out of control, only a moment and the bus filled with the eruption of concerned moans from everyone. It was followed quickly by sounds of relief when the bus straightened out.

I looked at Lacey again. She had her hand on her chest, shook her head with a partial smile and a look that said, ‘whew that was close’.

Deciding I wasn’t going to sleep, I sat up. The moment I did, someone, I don’t know who, it didn’t really matter who it was, yelled out, “Shit!”

I felt the brakes engage, but they did nothing.

I gripped the seat in front of me as the bus swerved left to right, not slowing down until the bus turned and started a sideways, high speed glide down the highway.

I reached out my hand to Lacey, everything in our way was behind her. I watched as we careened toward the collapsed overpass blocking the road ahead.

Our fingers touched, I tried to pull her to my side, but it happened too fast.

Closer.

Closer.

Impact.

The side of the bus smashed into the concrete and went airborne, flipping upside down, and landing hard on the roof.

I held on as best as I could, but the force of the hit, loosened my grip and I tumbled. Like the second hand of a clock, the bus spun around and around. Items flew at me, bodies flew at me. How long did we turn? Somewhere in the midst of it all, I must have lost consciousness, because I didn’t remember when we stopped spinning, and if we hit something else.

All I knew was a loud ringing in my ears brought me to awareness, and I was somewhere in that bus buried beneath baggage and bloody limbs. Some of them moving, some of them not.

A man’s arm was across my throat, choking me. I lifted it, gasped, coughed and tried to edge my way out.

Was I hurt? I didn’t feel badly hurt, just the loud ringing in my ears.

As I turned to move and bring myself to a sitting position, I noticed it.

Oddly, it rested on my stomach. How it happened, I didn’t know

Lacey’s notebook.

The picture of her family was somehow still clipped on the cover that was splattered with blood.

Twenty-eight people were on that bus.

Soldiers, elderly, men, women and children.

The accident was horrible, a tangled mess of wreckage.

A lot of people had injuries. Many had serious ones, including Del who broke his leg and hip.

Surprisingly, for horrendous as the accident was, only three people died.

Unfortunately… Lacey was one of them.

It was a strange effect that overtook me. I didn’t expect it… calmness.

I was focused on finding my friends. Maybe I was a bit callous as well. People reached out to me asking for help, but I couldn’t help them. I had Lacey and Del to find.

The bus was completely upside down, windows broken and glass everywhere. After I stood, that’s when others did, too.

Some cried, some screamed. I… looked.

Clutching Lacey’s notebook I visually searched.

It seemed everyone ended up in the back area.

“Lacey, Del,” I called out. It was hard to stand. Every time I got my footing, someone moved on the floor, or stood up groaning. “Lacey! Del”

“Is there anyone that isn’t hurt?” a man called out.

“Lacey! Del!”

“Ma’am.”

I looked over my shoulder.

“Can you help us?” the soldier asked.

I ignored his request and called out for my friends,

Del responded finally. “Here.”

His voice came from behind me, I spun and searched as he called out again.

He was pressed against the side, one of his legs was still under a person.

“Del,” I said.

“I’m good. I’m fine. I scooted out. I think I broke my leg.” He spoke with strained words.

I peered down, his pant leg was bloody and his shin bone poked through the fabric. “You think?”

You hurt?” he asked.

“No. No I don’t think so.” Quickly, I tuned into my body to see if anything was painful. I didn’t feel any injuries.

“Lacey?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t found her.”

“That’s her backpack.” He pointed behind me. “She had it on her lap. Is that it?”

Once more I turned and I saw the backpack. “Yeah, that’s it.” The strap rested on the head of a man that lay on his side. My foot twisted as I tried to step forward and I guess I nudged that man. He grunted, grabbed his head and crawled his way into a sitting position. When he sat up, he not only knocked over the backpack, but he exposed the fact that Lacey was behind him.

There was no blood on her face, it was remarkably clean, peaceful and almost ageless. Her coat was open and her shirt was saturated in blood. Lacey’s neck was purple and twisted.

I knew instantly she was gone.

No last words, no farewell. No dying breath saying, ‘tell my family I love them.’

Not a chance for any of that.

My friend had passed away, alone.

Although they radioed for help, a bus traveling south happened upon us. They took the injured, and since I was fine, I waited for the next one. Sitting there, numb, holding Lacey’s body until it was time to go.

I had to leave her. Abandon her body on the side of the road as if she were nothing. No burial, nothing to say, no goodbyes.

I felt as if I disrespected her.

Nothing really hit me until we arrived at the camp and were taken to the medical tent. That’s when I emotionally collapsed. I began sobbing and crying, sitting there holding her belongings against my chest. Waiting on word about Del who was rushed into emergency surgery.

What happened? My mind took me to a conversation when Lacey talked to me about what happened when the tram crashed that day. Like me, she saw it coming. The trouble coming her way until impact. Everything she had described was eerily similar to the bus crash.

I couldn’t help but wonder if somehow Lacey was supposed to die on that tram that day, but fate saved her for a greater purpose. What that was remained to be discovered. Perhaps it was to find me, guide me home, or maybe it was just to get peace to her family. Maybe one day I would know. Sitting there crying and waiting for news on Del, I glanced down to the notebook. Lacey was never without it, always writing in it.

What was it that she had to write on that bus?

Still cold, still shivering, she opened that notebook and jotted something down.

Hating to do so, I opened it up and read what she had written.

Her last entries…

Davis, Jana, Ev

This is the hardest letter I have ever written. I don’t know if you will even read this. If not, I hope you know I tried. My fingers are numb and I don’t know how much I will able to write. Please know I tried with everything I had to be with you, to find you. Sometimes it is out of our control. Things were going well for us. We’ve reached the end of the line. At least I found out that you were fine. I believe you will be fine. I know you will do the best you can with the world you have before you. I love you all with my heart and soul. I am so proud of all of you. I leave this world full of love.

Mom

Just a note–

I wrote the previous entry when I believed we weren’t going to make it. I was wrong. We were saved. Keep that flag where I can see it. I will find you. I’m not dying after all.