Роберт Уилсон - Days Since... - Jenny - Day 986

There were a few shelves beyond the reach of small children—only toys and books sat upon them. She shrugged off the bunk bed. Not even worth a glance. Earlier, while clearing the room, she had left the closet partially open, but without finding anyone inside, the rest of its contents went unnoticed. This time, however, her attention was on the smaller details.

Atop the shelf, in a plastic grocery bag, she finally found what she had been looking for all this time. Without hesitating, she stuffed the box into her pants pocket and exited the room. Whoa! She startled—a cold, wet nose jammed itself into her hand. A sigh of relief. “Sherman,” she whispered. “Come on pup, get back in there.” She angled him toward the living room and patted him on the butt. “Go, boy!” He traipsed away, and she broke for the master bedroom.

With mixed emotions, she rushed into the bathroom and stripped the box from its contents. A deep breath. This is it… She cringed onto the toilet seat, freezing cold against her skin, and administered the test. Please, please nothing. Please nothing! The trickle stopped. She eyed the stick as her legs carried her off into the master bedroom where she paced uncontrollably. How long does this damn thing take?

She set the stick down on the nightstand and walked off, forcing herself to ignore it. How am I going to do this? Her breathing began to elevate, and she could feel the tears swelling in her eyes. Do I tell Matt if I am? But I can’t… I can’t tell him. This can’t be real. “What the hell do I do?” Forcing herself back to the nightstand, she angled the test’s small window into the candlelight. A plus sign. Shit!

“What the hell do I do?!” To hide the results from anyone else, she forced the bathroom window open and flung the test into the backyard. “How the hell am I going to do this? I—I can’t do this.” Incomplete thoughts rambled on between her crying and gasps for air. “What if—What if I…” Her face crashed into her hands, unable to bear the weight of the tears any longer. “What if the baby gets Almawt?” She collapsed to her knees. “I can’t do this alone…”

Minutes later, still a mess, eyes puffy, sniffling, she foolishly found herself in the front room.

“You alright?” Matt asked.

Jenny didn’t say anything.

“Jenny?”

She nudged him over to make room for her in the bay window. He wrapped his arms around her.

“You okay?”

“Shush. Hold me.” Trembling, she stared out the window with him. “I just need you to hold me.”

“Head count’s comin’ soon. S.A. Guards gonna know we’re missin’, and they’re not gonna let us go that easy.”

“Come on, Matt, think!”

“I am!”

“Look, there’s a reason Xavier left you the note. All these clues have to do with you, not us. Me and Grant don’t have the answer. Again, listen closely, ‘The old way home. Opposite wall of the ladder. Dig.’”

“I know what it says! I’ve been staring at it for a week. The old way home, I did get that one. But now I don’t know. Opposite wall the ladder…”

“Of the ladder. Opposite wall of the ladder.”

“Same thing.”

“Quit the fightin’ you two. It’s fixin’ to get dark out here. The woods ain’t gonna be too generous with light comin’ here soon.”

“I just don’t know what he means by ladder. There’s no ladder here.”

“If this is the trail you took home, then it has to be here. There’s no other reason to mention it.”

“It could just be a hint like take the path up to our house. Maybe it’s buried in one of our yards or something.”

“I doubt it. I mean, why wouldn’t he just use the street name then or the numbers from your address? It’s the path. It has to be.”

“Do you see a ladder?”

“That’s not the point. Think outside the box. Did you guys have a treehouse or something? Anything you guys might have climbed to get up or down? Something like that?”

“I don’t think—”

“If you’re thinkin’ of a real ladder forget it. It don’t have to be like that.”

“You already said you guys didn’t have a ladder. You need to get that out of your head.”

“Hmmm… Alright. Maybe… maybe this way. It’s worth a shot.”

“What you thinkin’, boy?”

“By the creek up here, we used to climb down on these roots. I guess it was kind of like a ladder.”

“Nothin’ to lose. Let’s go.”

“It’s up here. Right around this bend.”

“Watch your feet. Last thing we needin’ is someone gettin’ hurt. Keep it steady, and we’ll get there just fine.”

“This is what I was thinking, but I don’t know… What do you think?”

“Other side there. Look. That’s gotta be it.”

“So, what now?”

“We dig.”

Jenny’s eyes struggled to open against the sunlight pouring in through the bedroom’s thin curtains. How’d I get back in here? She cleared her throat and rolled over toward the middle of the bed. “Matt…” Pleased to find him next to her, she threw an arm around his side. The light fell across his face, but it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest.

She watched him. Each breath he took. His eyes occasionally fluttered beneath his eyelids like he was tracking something. He shuddered, his body giving a violent shake as if he were falling. His eyes opened abruptly, but he smiled upon seeing Jenny. He pulled her toward him, his patchy beard and sideburns scratching against her cheek. She didn’t mind it, and she stayed there with him, both of them staring at each other without a word.

I love you, but how are we going to do this, Matt? Life is already hard enough. She took her arm from around him and placed her hand against his cheek. He smiled, his dopey eyes coupled with hers. I know you love me, but what are you going to think? Obviously, it’s going to change things between us. You think you’ll be excited? Nervous? Of course, you’ll be nervous. How else would you feel? I don’t think we’re ready for this. I don’t think anyone’s going to be ready for this.

“Matt…” Her forehead scrunched with thought, unable to decide whether to tell him or not.

“You don’t have to say anything. I already know what you’re going to say.”

Her eyes went wide. Her heart sank. How could he know?

“Don’t be mad at me. I tried. Believe me, I tried. He wouldn’t listen.”

Jenny could breathe again.

“I told Danny I was going to get you when my shift was up, and he exploded on me. He said it was more important that you got your sleep. Then you came in last night all upset. You looked like you really needed the sleep. So… so I let you fall asleep and brought you back in here. I’m sorry. I mean, I know you really wanted to do it, but…”

“It’s not your fault, Matt.” She couldn’t help but smile with relief.

“It seems like you’re feeling better.” The weight of his arm fell across her waist. “What happened last night?”

His eyes showed concern, but the pressure she felt in her chest from just the thought of him already knowing, gave her the answer. There was no way she could let him know yet. “I—” She tried to think of something, anything to tell him before the tears forced their way out. “I just… You know how sometimes these houses—the ones that aren’t completely torn apart—you know how they get to me. I don’t know. Every time— I can’t help but feel normal again.” A few tears came, but for much different reasons than her words shared. Matt dabbed them away with his thumb. “Seeing this bedroom last night. Reading this stupid—” She took the diary from the nightstand and flopped it down on the comforter.