Роберт Уилсон - Days Since... - Jenny - Day 986

“Good. So, let me think here… It’s been about what, two weeks now?”

“I think that’s right.”

“Did they assign you a job yet?”

“They—”

“Not a big deal if they haven’t. Sometimes it takes awhile to find where you fit in. I know they assigned Grant over with Lars, seems like that’ll be a good fit for the both of them. But where to put you…”

“They have me helping with the daily checks, little things like that.”

“Oh. Well, that sounds about right. It’s a good starter job for the newcomers. It’ll ease you into the Depot, show you how things are done. But tell me, and be honest, what would you like to do if you could have your pick?”

“Probably something outside like scavenging through houses, stores—things like that.”

“I thought I saw something different in you. You like danger. You’re not like the other women here. There’s something special behind those eyes. How old are you?”

“I’m… sixteen.”

“Hmmm. I would’ve guessed you were at least twenty. You just carry yourself that way. I like that. Maybe after a few more weeks of getting your feet wet around here, I can get you on Danny’s team. Derrick’s there now, but he’s expressed interest in working sentry duty. Maybe we can work a transition for the both of you.”

“I’d like that.”

“I figured you would. You and Danny seem to have hit it off pretty quick. You two have something going on there?”

“No. I just— He just… What are you doing?”

“He’s my partner, and… partners share.”

“Wait… What? There’s nothing to share. He’s just a friend. Danny reminds me of my dad. That’s it! That’s all! What the hell?”

“Well maybe I can be your daddy…”

“Get off! Get the fuck off me!”

“Nuh uh uh. Another outburst like that and…”

“You can’t—”

“Oh, I can. And you’ll let me. If not, you won’t see past the end of the day. And if you say anything to anyone, run off, anything like that, your two friends won’t make it either. So, how about we get started by taking off that top?”

Jenny woke in a filthy sweat, heaving her blankets to the floor. Only a dream. It didn’t happen again. Her hand trembled toward the lantern and turned it on. She winced, but the sight of her empty tent calmed her shallow breaths, her racing heart. It wasn’t the first time she’d awoken like this. Not by a long shot. The mere presence of Griffin, the thought of him, triggered the nightmare of what he had done to her.

At first, she considered fleeing the Depot, but couldn’t. The fear of Griffin following through on his threat to end her life, and worse, her friends’, had stopped her. Now, it was the painful realization that finding something better might not be possible. Everywhere she turned seemed no better than the last—the Second Alliance, Griffin, and most recently, several maniacs shooting up a neighborhood for no apparent reason.

Griffin had happened only once.

She had convinced herself she could deal with only once…

Shivering from the sweat and frigid air, she lay there, her stomach still knotted due to Griffin’s unexpected visit and Danny’s pending decision. The uncertainty tormented her. If Danny chose to keep her grounded, then encounters with Griffin would only become more frequent. The nightmares, more frequent. She could only hope Danny would do the right thing, but oftentimes his idea of what constituted right conflicted with hers.

If I could just tell him… Then he’d know it’s not just me being stubborn or difficult, or whatever he convinced himself I’m trying to do. She sighed. But what if he wouldn’t believe me? Or what if he already knows and doesn’t care? No, that’s not possible. He’d never stand for that. Danny’s one of the good guys. I can’t—

A rustling came from the side of her tent, loud and inconsiderate. It might not have been intended for attention, but it certainly grabbed hers. Out of habit, especially with what happened last night, she covered her exposed body with one of the blankets from the floor. Nervously, she listened, anticipating the sliding against the nylon wall of her tent to round the corner toward the front. But it didn’t, whoever brought the disturbance finally passed by completely. There could’ve been plenty of reasons for the commotion. Someone doing rounds. Someone simply walking past as it seemed in this case. Or Griffin, coming back.

Why, after two months of barely a nod given in passing, had Griffin sought her out again? And in her tent? He’s not that stupid. There’d be no hiding it. But—But what if Danny hadn’t come when he did? What would’ve happened then? What the hell did he want? He’s up to something. I just… If Danny doesn’t let me continue with the scouting, it’s only gonna get worse. She bit her lip, dreading the day ahead of her, managing only a huff, a sigh.

The anxiety that had built up inside made her unable or unwilling to rise from the lounger. Instead, she lay there alone, forcing herself to find something positive in the moment to take her mind off the bad. For now, the warmth of her blanket would suffice. Underneath it, she traced along her bare skin, taking her fingertips across the receding goosebumps and down to her belly where she hesitated.

With a frail smile, she whispered, “How could I forget about you?” Her lips quivered. Quickly, she forced them into a smile. Fear and regret weren’t things she planned to share with her baby. “I love you. You probably can’t hear me, though, huh?” Her chest fluttered through a whimpered chuckle as tears blurred the soft glow of the lantern. “I’m scared, you know?” she continued through her soft crying. “I am, but I’ll never let you know that. I’ll always make the hard choices for us, so you don’t have to.” A deep breath in. “The world’s crazy, but you’ll never know any different. I promise, by the time you come, I’ll find us somewhere safe, or I’ll make it myself. Somewhere not crazy at all. Nothing bad will ever happen to you. Too many people will love you. Too many people will fight for you.” Determined, she stood, brushing away her tears. Danny’s not telling me no today. Not today.

Wrapped in her blanket, she shambled toward the front of the tent to check the zipper but stopped. After only a few steps, her bladder began screaming at her. Whoa! Where’s that bucket? Hurriedly, she snatched it from under the lounger and fitted her toilet seat on top. There we go… She relieved herself, and once finished, set it to the side so she could check the door to her tent before slipping into a pair of cargo pants.

While dressing, Jenny realized the mess that had accumulated over the past day. So before leaving, she straightened up her space. The blankets. Books. Clothing. A few odds and ends on her table. A quick spritz of perfume finished its refresh. “Much better. And now”—she inhaled sharply—“we don’t take no for an answer.”

Carefully, she rolled the zipper, doing her best to be more considerate than the last person who had walked past. She slipped her head through the partial opening in the door, holding her breath, still nervous about Griffin. After a few glances, it seemed she’d be alone, so Jenny eased from the tent, bucket in hand. Immediately, she braved taking a breath to get it out of the way—no small feat by any means. Moist and heavy, one could feel the air. It wasn’t taken in breaths. In the “Cave,” where most the Depot residents slept, you chewed the air.