Jacqueline Druga - Omnicide

Her throat hurt when she swallowed.

It was stupid to try to hang herself. There had to be better ways. One more permanent.

She lifted her phone, looking at the pictures of her children and family. That was all she had, when the phone was gone, so would be the pictures.

“Now, I’ll stay,” Ada told her. “But I know you aren’t wanting company.”

Lena shook her head.

“Your friend will be here soon. Very soon. I hope you’ll have her and… Cass is on her way here.”

Lena looked up.

“She said you probably don’t want to see her.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to see her?” It was hard to talk, her voice was raspy.

Ada opened her mouth but refrained from saying that Cass was the one that saved her, just in case Lena didn’t know. But there was something Lena wasn’t aware of, and Ada felt she should know. “No reason. But just so you know, Cass may be someone you want to talk to.”

“Because of her children and parents?” Lena asked

“I wasn’t aware that you knew.”

“Eb told me before… before I found out about…” She didn’t finish her sentence; she just lowered her head and wiped her eyes.

“They’re good people, Lena. Both handled the situation differently. If you need to talk, they’re the ones to talk to.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll leave you be and send up Cass when she arrives.”

Lena pursed her lips. It was hard to do anything but frown. Once Ada left the room, she tried to get into a comfortable position, but everything hurt and she was still a little woozy from the sedative.

She stared at the pictures, back and forth with a swipe of her finger. Each one hurting her a little more. She knew she had videos and saved voicemails but she wasn’t ready for those yet.

A single knock came at the door and weakly Lena called out, “Come in.”

It opened slightly and Cass peeked inside.

The moment she saw Cass, Lena remembered and knew what Ada said. Instantly, the grief turned to such a vile anger, Lena didn’t recognize it within herself.

“I’ll leave you alone if you want,” Cass said.

“Cass, I’m a nice person, but right now I really don’t want to see you.” Lena kept her gaze down.

“I get it. I do. I’ve been there.” Cass stepped inside, staying by the door. “Just know I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about what happened to your family. I’m sorry I took away your choice last night.”

“It was my choice.”

“I know. Like I said, I was there. I was angry when someone stopped me. I don’t think people who want to live have any idea what it is like to want to die.”

Slowly Lena looked up.

“But just because you want to die, doesn’t mean you should. It took me a long time to realize that Kit saved my life and didn’t just stop me from dying.”

“Kit? The cop?”

“Yeah, I was bad. I didn’t make any attempts on my life because I was certain I was going to die anyhow. Hell, I should have I was impaled by a piece of that truck. Right in my chest. Then I didn’t. I spiraled out of control fast. Lost everything else and everyone else I held dear because I was selfish in my own pain and grief.”

“There is no way I’ll ever get through this,” Lena sobbed.

“You’ll never forget it. I won’t lie. You’ll learn to live with it. Learn to live with the days it all comes back. You want to hear nothing right now and I will not even attempt to tell you anything that will remotely try to make you feel better.”

“Nothing will.”

“No, it won’t,” Cass said. “Again, I’m sorry for taking away your choice. But, Lena, I’m not sorry you’re alive.”

Lena turned her head slightly.

“It’s gonna sound stupid and cliché to say, but right now, you aren’t thinking clearly. You aren’t.”

“Will I ever think clearly?”

“Yes, you will,” Cass said. “If you don’t hide behind a bad pain pill addiction.” She sighed out heavily.

“It’s not the same, Cass. I know you lost your family. I know you did. But it isn’t the same. I didn’t get to say goodbye, I didn’t get to see them one last time, I won’t even get to see them buried.”

“I didn’t get any of that either. So I know. Okay. I put my kids in the car with my parents and told them to be good. That I’d see them at the rest stop. I was in intensive care, and a nurse went to the funeral for me. I laid in bed watching it through a live video stream.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t. I’m sorry. It’s not about my grief or me, it’s about you. Okay. And why can’t you say goodbye?”

“Cass, I’m here. They’re in California,” Lena said sadly, her hands still holding the phone.

“Seven-hour drive away,” Cass told her. “If you want to go. When you feel ready, well enough and up for it, then you go. Someone in this town will go with you. Eb, Ada, any number of people. They’ll go and help you find your family and bury them. I’d suggest me, but it will take some healing before you can look at me and not get mad.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m here whenever. Get some rest.” Cass slipped back out the door and closed it.

Even though a lot of what Cass said was comforting, Lena felt an anger toward her. She wanted to lash out, scream at Cass, but it wasn’t Lena to do that. One thing Lena wasn’t angry about was Cass’ suggestion to go home to have one final goodbye with her family. As she held onto the phone, staring down at the pictures, she held onto the hope that one day soon, she could do just that.

When Cass said it, told her the idea and suggestion, Ada could have squashed that tomato she was washing.

“What are you, nuts?” Ada asked in a low scolding voice, standing in her kitchen by the sink.

“What?” Cass asked as she sat at the table. “It’s a good idea.”

“No, it’s a horrible one. You couldn’t suggest, maybe having a service here and having a grave here. No, instead you suggest the girl drive seven hours to her home, where even if she went tomorrow, the decomposition of them would be horrible. You want her to see that?”

“I think she’ll be smart enough to know the condition.”

“Cass, look…”

“No, Ada, if she wants to do it, then she should do it.”

Ada shook her head and returned to washing the tomato. She glanced out the window. “Son of a bitch. Goddamn Floyd.”

“What?” Cass asked.

Ada left the sink running, opened the pantry right by the back door, grabbed a rifle and walked out to the back porch.

She didn’t hesitate or miss the opportunity.

If there was a deer in her garden it could be contaminated with that fungus. She lined the animal in her sights and fired a single shot that dropped it.

Cass flew out onto the porch. “Who did you shoot?”

“Not who. What. A deer.” Ada marched out toward it. “You know it came from Miller Run area. Floyd is supposed to be up there catching them.”

“You think it was sick?” Cass asked as she followed.

“I don’t know. The color looked good, but I still need to check. Run back to the house for me and grab the green gloves on the counter.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Cass backed up.

Ada arrived at the deer. She crouched down to the animal, its fur was orange-brown and it was healthy looking. Not wanting to take a chance, she waited for the gloves before examining it further.

“And we don’t know where?” Mark asked.

Kit shook his head, leaning against his desk. “Just that it’s on a highway.”

Niles lifted his hand. “I’ll be happy to go with you and Cass.”

“Cass is going?” Mark asked. “Why?”