L Akers - Fight Like a Man

Curt stepped up in front of the crowd. “As the HOA president, I’ll be in charge. I’ll be sending the secretary and a team of a few people with carts to collect all the food to bring to one location.”

The group went wild and tempers flared again.

Jake cleared his throat and waved them silent. “With all due respect, Curt. This isn’t an HOA situation. This is a real-life situation. If you’re put in charge, I think you should be voted into that position fairly. In a democratic way. Every house gets one vote.”

Curt grit his teeth and glared at first Jake, and then Tucker. “Look how that worked out for our country, huh?”

Tucker tried to hide a grin. Curt hated President Trump, and several of the guys had tortured him by sneaking Trump for President signs in his yard at night for a solid year before Trump was elected. Jake had been a part of it; all in good fun.

Someone in the crowd yelled out, “I think Jake should be in charge.”

Several people audibly agreed.

Jake shook his head. “Thank you, but I can’t. My wife isn’t home. She’s out of town. When she comes home, she’ll be going to her sister’s house first. That’s where I’m headed later. I may be back soon, but I don’t want that responsibility. There’s people here who are probably more than qualified to manage everything. I’d suggest you all sit down and decide what teams you need. Then take volunteers. Have the volunteers sign up and list any experience they have. If you’ve got a stay-at-home mom who’s volunteered in the school cafeteria, or maybe even a caterer, they’ve got experience cooking for crowds. And someone here might be over inventory at their company. They’d be your food and supply manager. Any law enforcement here? Retired military? They’d be an asset to the security team. Use your assets.”

“Any other advice?” Tucker asked.

Jake looked up into the air, thinking. “Empty your freezers and refrigerators now. First thing. Cook all the meat before it goes bad. You can cook it on the grill or over a fire, or some people might have camp-stoves. Cook it to eat just what you need. For the rest, you can smoke it, or dehydrate it to make jerky that will keep longer. You can also salt the pork and fish if you have enough salt—that’ll keep your meat good for a really long time, and don’t forget to use the salt you have on hand from your water softener systems.”

He looked around the group for the few elderly couples that lived there. They didn’t socialize much but they were old enough that they might know a few things about long-term food preparation from watching their parents or grandparents.

“There’s hunters in here, and elderly, which probably know how to salt meat for keeping long-term. Salt as much as you can to save it in case of hard times. Ration it. If you have vegetables that are going to go bad, collect all the canning jars you can find from the neighborhood. You’ll need lids and rings too. The meat can also be canned but it needs to be pressure-canned. If you have someone who knows how to safely ‘can’ the food for long-term storage, you can put all that up for later, just in case. Try to save the seeds from your veggies and produce if they’re heirloom to plant for more food. No one knows how long this will last. If you’re not sure what seeds to save, save them all. Nominate a garden specialist and have them take a look at what you got.

If this keeps on, pick one good community gathering spot. Somewhere that has shade and plenty of space, and maybe near one of the swimming pools. Drag as many tables and chairs there as you can. Make it your community center. You’ll probably need three fires going all the time. Have someone rig some racks to hang the pots. One fire to constantly boil water for cooking and drinking. One fire for actually cooking over, and one fire for a laundry pot or hot water for sponge-baths for the kids.”

A moan rolled through the crowd as people realized showers or full baths with hot water would be rare and a good bit of trouble for the near future.

Jake was tapped out. He couldn’t think of anything else to suggest.

“I’ve got to roll. I want to see my wife, and I aim to be there before she is. I wish you all luck and please, don’t fight each other anymore. Act like grown-ups, at least in front of the kids.”

The next ten minutes was filled with the families that considered Jake and Gabby friends saying good bye and good luck to him. Soon, several people had sat down in a large circle, surrounded by the other neighbors standing behind them, and were writing down ideas that were being thrown at them for the different teams. Everyone seemed to be getting along fine.

So far.

Jake was ready to go.

Tucker shook his hand. “Thanks, man. That was really helpful. I think we just needed someone everyone would listen to, to settle things down and get us started with a plan. I know there’s a lot of people who know this stuff but they’re afraid to speak up, or if they do speak up, Curt is going to argue with them. I’m glad you put him in his place.”

Jake shrugged. “I wasn’t trying to do that. I was just stating a fact. This isn’t HOA business. First step for y’all is going to be to nominate someone to be in charge and vote on that. After that, everything’s on that guy. Or lady. Or board, I guess. Now, can I get that four-wheeler?”

Jake grabbed his bag off the bike, and they walked as quickly as Jake could manage to Tucker’s second garage at the back of his lot. On the way there, Tucker told Jake what all he and his family had on hand. It was plenty to last a few weeks, maybe a month.

The way he was talking, Jake wasn’t sure he would share with the neighborhood. Why should he? Some people probably had nothing. But Jake was leaving that up to them. He’d done his part, they could work out the details from here.

When they reached the garage, Tucker’s wife, Katie, came out and gave Jake a big hug and told him to give one to Gabby for her. They stepped in, and Jake was surprised to see their kids, all at some level of teen or tween, sorting food into small meal groups and writing stuff down. They laughed at a joke Jake had missed, picking at one another. There were two boys, and two girls. Tucker had a houseful. And it was always a happy house. Jake smiled at the sibling camaraderie.

“How soon you need this back? It’d be great if you let me drive it to the homestead, too.”

Tucker didn’t seem very happy about that and hesitated to answer.

“Wait, how ‘bout this?” Jake dug in his pocket and pulled out his house keys. He handed them to Tucker. “If you trust me with your four-wheeler, I’ll trust you with my house. If I’m not back here in one week, with your four-wheeler intact, you and Katie are welcome to any food or supplies you find at our house. Is that fair?”

Tucker shook his head. “Naw, man. We’re not gonna take your stuff. You’ll get it back to me. My family is here, safe with me. I’m happy to help you get to yours.” Tucker nodded firmly and tried to give Jake his keys back.

Jake refused to take the keys and instead started up the four-wheeler. “Hang onto those for me. The offer stands. At the very least, sneak in when no one is looking and get the freezer foods later today. I haven’t opened the door at all, some of it’ll still be good if you do it right away. No use in wasting it.”

He stuck out his hand and Tucker grasped it firmly, and then pulled Jake into a one-armed hug. “You take care of yourself, Jake. Thanks again for getting us started, and if you can come back and help me herd these cats, please do.”

Jake quickly returned the hug with a pat on Tucker’s back, and pulled back. “You take care of Katie and the kids—and my bike—and keep the cats of Tullymore safe. I’ll see ya later.”