Russell Hoban - Riddley Walker

I said, “Trubba not and withry speck but aint you the 1 as put him on that windy road when you brung him down?”

He said, “Riddley you know as wel as I do if you put 1 figger on your right han and a nother on your lef the 1 wil go agenst the other some how some time. It dont matter nothing if you call them Punch & Pooty or Goodparley & Orfing.”

I said, “Orfing & Ardship?”

He said, “Yes you may wel say Orfing & Ardship. Which the hardship be come the Orfing dinnit. At leas I come out of it with my life. For a littl wyl any how.”

I said, “What happent?”

He said, “Wel we had our littl bag of yellerboy stoan dint we. Same as you. Which thats Power innit. I mean that and the knowing of what to do with it. If 1 comes to you youwl go looking for the other I dont care who you be youwl do it. Becaws theres Power in the 1 sames its in the other nor it dont matter nothing which comes 1st. 1ce that Powers luce itwl fetch itwl work itwl move itwl happen every 1 whats in its road. Some 1s got to happen it. If it aint me or you it cud wel be some 1 wersen us cudnt it. So I wer on for letting it happen.”

“The Ardship he begun to gether with the Eusa folk they all took off ther cloes and tangelt ther selfs to gether all nekkit and twining like a nes of snakes which they callit that some poasyum. Which they done trantsing with it and hy telling. Doing it in that old Power Station in Fork Stoan where the out poast is. Which that place its so big and eckowing it wer realy some thing to hear them telling of the many cools of Addom and the party cools of stoan and all the diffrent colourt seeds and that. It put you by your oan self even tho you mytnt know nothing of it yet you cud get jus the fayntes glimmer of what it musve ben to be the Puter Leat. To have them boats in the air which they callit them space craf and them picters on the wind which that wer viddyo and going out beyont the sarvering gallack seas. Not jus singing it you know. Acturely going it acturely roading out thru space. Jus try to get it in your mynd try to happen it in your head o dint they trants hy you cud feal the thrus and the boost of it you know the jynt woosh of them liffing off and to the stations. Which they jumpt 1 station to the nex you see and til they jumpt right out beyont them gallack seas. I tel you Riddley lissening to them trantsing and telling it wer all mos like being in 1 of them space craf o the yoaring and the roaling o the nertial and the navigation of it.”

I said, “Did they ever get to the knowing of the mixter of the 1 Littl 1?”

He said, “No they dint you see what it wer they gone so far beyont any thing that simpl they cudnt qwite track back to it they cudnt littl down to the Nos. of it.”

I said, “So you never gone bang then?”

He said, “O yes we did we gone bang right a nuff the same as you. Some of the hevvys they gone to Hoggem Form which they come back with a dyer and they helpt some qwirys on him til he give them the Nos. of the mixter which he knowit them Nos. the sames your chard coal berner done. Which all them years I never knowit nothing of all that with them berners and dyers nor Goodparley dint nyther and us the Pry Mincer and the Wes Mincer.”

I said, “Yes but what about the bang howd it go?”

He said, “Wel the hevvys took the yellerboy stoan and the other gready mints and they done that mixter like the dyer tol them which they packt it in a iron pot and they had what they callit a fews which the dyer give them it wer a bit of chemistery roap. The Ardship wernt interstit in that kynd of thing that han mixing he rathert have mor vantsit theary. Him and the Eusa folk they wer carrying on with ther some poasyum wylst the hevvys wer larking a bout with the iron pot of mixter they wer pist and singing songs they wer fummeling them nekkit Eusa women. The Ardship he tol the hevvys to stop ther singing and the res of it which it wer giving him inner fearents with his trantsing. Which them hevvys then they lit the fews and throwit the pot in to the middl of the Eusa folk thats when it gone bang and peaces of iron pot and Eusa folk wizzing all roun. It toar the Ardship all a part and peaces of him raining down on them girt shyning broakin machines plus it kilt 3 mor Eusa folk and woondit others of them which then the res of the Eusa folk gone for the hevvys. Thats when I vackt my wayt I slyd out of there I thot I bes take my chance elser and elsewys. I realy had to voat no kynd of fents in that lot I cudnt see how I wer going to mincer any thing out of them.”

I said, “Whyd you ever want to take over any how?”

He said, “I all ready tol you dint I. You put 1 figger on your right han and 1 on your lef and the 1 wil take over from the other plus Iwl tel you any 1 what ben Goodparleys shadder mincer wudve done the same yes youwdve done it jus the same as me. He had that way about him he jus made you want to bring him down. Which that ben what he wantit and all he dint have no res and til he made it happen. I never progammit to do it realy it jus put its self to gether. I dont think them hevvys ben beckoning that boat I think parbly that dead bloak ben a farring seakert tryer from other side which my read of it is he ben coming to try his Luck he ben out to bargam yellerboy for knowing when he got nitefel in a storm and the marse come down on his head. When Goodparley made some of the hevvys help the qwirys on others of them they wer ready for the bringdown which I jus clymt on it and movit with it.”

I said, “What dyou think wil happen now dyou think the hevvys at Fork Stoan wil sen ther oan farring seakert tryer to bargam some thing with the other siders?”

He said, “Wel its luce now innit. Its luce and itwl fetch. Every 1 as can get the Nos. of the mixter and them 3 gready mints of it theywl have a go wont they. Somewl go 1 way with it some a nother. You can get jus as dead from a kick in the head as you can from the 1 Littl 1 but its the natur of it gets peopl as cited. I mean your foot is all ways on the end of your leg innit. So if youre going to kick some 1 to death it aint all that thrilling is it. This other tho youve got to have the Nos. of the mixter then youve got to fynd your gready mints then youve got to do the mixing of the mixter and youve got to say the fissional seakerts of the act befor you kil some body its all that chemistery and fizzics of it you see. Its some thing new. Which ever way you look at it I dont think Aunty and her red eyed rat be too far from us. Be that a fit up on your back?”

I said, “You know it is and you know whose.”

He said, “Its all ways the littl man as carrys the fit up whynt you let me have it.”

I said, “Erny you know you aint no littlern me the 2 of us is jus about the same bigness.”

He said, “Riddley thats as may be but I feal littler all the time I wish youwd let me carry it I wont feal right else. You know its all ways Orfing as carrys the fit up.”

I said, “And its Goodparley does the show. Be you making me Goodparley now?”

He said, “I cant make no 1 nothing you know that. Nor I never fealt right when them hevvys wer calling me Goodparley nor I wunt put that name on you nyther les jus call it Walker & Orfing.”

I said, “Why not Orfing & Walker?”

He said, “The name as comes 1st is the man as works the figgers and does the voyces. Which I never ben no good at that I never do nothing only strait man for the patter. So Walker & Orfings what itwl have to be.”

Erny slung the fit up then and we gone back to the out poast. Which I fealt like sitting down to a tabel with a candl and putting some words on paper. That ben the beginning of this writing and Im sitting at that same and very tabel now. Longs we had the dogs to keap look out we thot why not hoal up there and til such time as any new hevvys myt be coming in. Its ben a 14nt now tho nor there bint no blip of hevvys nor no 1 else. It looks to me like that Fools Circel is broakin now I dont think therewl be no mor regler hevvys nor Eusa folk in dead towns from now on. Parbly all the hevvys and any Eusa folk whatre stil a live theyre all too binsy running a roun trying to go bang. Plus a woal lot of other peopl as wel by now parbly. Fars we know there bint no mor bangs yet but we dont have the leas idear whats going to happen. Right now there aint even no Pry Mincer its what they call a care maker Mincery with regenneril guvner men from the Ram at all the forms.