Russell Hoban - Riddley Walker

He said, “Why cud you lissen me nor I cudnt lissen my self?”

I said, “May be it aint nothing.”

He said, “No its true foller I can lissen that much. If we go to Fork Stoan weare keaping the circel which thatwl be axel rating the Inner G you know. Thats what you do when you Power roun a ring. Which it looks like we bes ful that circel on a wyl yet.”

So we Souf and Eastit then for Fork Stoan which that put the wind on our lef side in stead of in our faces. That wind it jus kep fulling on and the rain like sling stoans in our faces. I wer thinking how it mus be out at sea. Which I wer beartht at Crippel the Farn near Fork Stoan and the sea is all ways somers in my mynd no matter where I am. I said, “I wunt want to be out this nite.” Then I had to larf and shake my head calling to memberment Durster Potter and how he said them same words that rainy nite after the Eusa show which it seamt so long pas yet it wernt no moren 3 nites back. Now I wer wel gone out in to that rainy dark he dint want to be in and where wer he?

Nearing on to Bernt Arse outers we come thru some old bernt over common it use to be a fents there long time back but long since emty gone to scrub and runty woodling they callit Hagmans Il. I pickt up a stoan and put it in my pockit for memberment I said, “Les hoap Aunty lets us get on top.”

Lissener said, “She ever do that?”

I dint tel him the story then it wer too hard talking in all that wind and rain plus I wantit to keap on the lissen but now Iwl write it down here which it like stans for some roading time. I had it from a Eusa show man Wayman Footling.

Every body knows Aunty. Stoan boans and iron tits and teef be twean her legs plus she has a iron willy for the ladys it gets red hot. When your time comes you have to do the juicy with her like it or not. She rides a girt big rat with red eyes it can see in the dark and it can smel whos ready for Aunty. Even if they dont know it ther selfs the rat can smel if theyre ready.

Time back way back after Bad Time there come playgs in the towns and they wer berning out the Badstock and the clevverness and that. Aunty she wer here and there and every where on her rat. She wer larfing and singing she wer doing the juicy right lef and senter she never got a nuff of it. Every 1 wer hiding out from her the bes they cud what ever hoal or shelter they cud fynd. It dint help them nothing that rat smelt them all out any how. Bloaks even if they dint think they cud get it up for Aunty jus 1 look from her and they wer ready. Theywd have ther go with Aunty but they never done it moren 1ce. 1ce Aunty clampt down with her bottom teef it wer Bye bye all bes no mor Trubba in this worl.

There wer a bloak his wife and childer dead from the playg and them what wer berning out the town wer after him with torches. Flames jumping up behynt him he dint have much chance but on he run from 1 hoal to a nother. He wer so much out of Luck his numbers all gone randem and his progam come unstuck he startit in to crave for Aunty he cudnt think of nothing else. He fealt ready only he dint see no red rat eyes nor he dint hear Aunty coming.

He gone looking for her then and calling to her he wer yelling, “Come on Aunty Im ready for you and I want it now.” He mus not have smelt ready tho becaws the rat dint come after him. He begun to foller on the rat then. He wer faslegging it thru the berning looking for jynt rat shit til he cawt up with Aunty. He said, “Drop your nickers Aunty you are for me.”

Aunty larft she said, “Whyd you come running after me do you have a iron willy or what?”

He said, “I dont have nothing special Im jus dying hard.” Aunty said, “All right then but you mus let me get on top thats how I all ways do it.” When Aunty got on top of any 1 her stoan boans and iron tits wud crush them down and her bottom teef wud finish the job.

This bloak tho he said, “Not this time Aunty. Every thing else has got on top of me but I wil get on top of you.”

Aunty larft and let him do it becaws she liket how he come running after her. That bloak never had any thing like it he dint know if he wer dead or a live he said, “Am I dead now or what?”

Aunty larft she said, “No youre not dead becaws you got on top of me and I pult in my bottom teef for you. I done that becaws you dint hide you come running after me. Off with you now and keap in mynd nex time its arga warga for you.”

Off he gone then he come to that place which now its callit Hagmans Il. He seen a woman there she wer the 1st he seen since he ben with Aunty. He said to her, “I done the juicy with Aunty and Im stil a live.”

She said, “Prove it.”

He said, “Iwl prove it right a nuff but wud you tel me 1st what do they call this place?”

The woman tol him, “Hangmans Hil.”

The bloak said, “Wel les call it some thing else now becaws Ive ben with Aunty and Im stil here. Jus a littl wyl back I ben ready to dy but now Im ready to live a littl and in joy with you so les call this place Hagmans Thril.”

The woman said, “If thats the name wewl do the same.” There wernt much else to do in that place it wernt nothing only smoaking runes dead bodys from the playg and nothing to eat.

The bloak went with her then he went agen he went all day and all nite he woar his self out and tirely he cudnt put out no mor input.

The woman fealt him going she said, “Dont you fancy me no mor?”

He said, “It aint that its jus Ive overwent my self I think Iwl res a littl now.”

She said, “I think youwl res a littl longern you think.”

He said, “Whyre you looking at me that way who be you and whats your name?”

She said, “Who I am is Auntys saymling sister and my name is Arga Warga.”

When the bloak heard that he tryd to run but he wer that woar out he cudnt move and she jumpt on him and et him up. From then on they callit that place Hagmans Il.

Time back when Wayman Footling tol me that story I askit him, “Be that realy how that place got its name?”

He said, “No not realy. There use to be a fents there it ben Hogmans Kil Fents befor it be come Hagmans Il.”

I said, “Why wer it callit Hogmans Kil?”

He said, “Bloak namit Hogman he wer the Big Man they use to make pots there. Hogmans Killen wer what it wer but every body callit Hogmans Kil.”

I said, “Howd it get to be Hagmans Il tho?”

He said, “Hogman had a fight with his wife and she kilt him.”

I said, “O that musve ben why they callit Hogmans Kil then.”

He said, “No it ben callit Hogmans Kil befor she done him in. After she done it they callit Hagmans Il. Becaws she ben a rough and ugly old woman and it come to il he marrit her.”

I said, “Then whered the other story come from? The 1 of the bloak as got on top of Aunty.”

He said, “It come in to my mynd.”

I said, “You mean you made it up.”

He said, “Wel no I dint make it up you cant make up nothing in your head no moren you can make up what you see. You know what I mean may be what you see aint all ways there so you cud reach out and touch it but its there some kynd of way and it come from some where. That place Hagmans Il I use to wunner about it every time we come by it til finely that story come in to my head. That story cudnt come out of no where cud it so it musve come out of some where. Parbly it ben in that place from time back way back or may be in a nother place only the idear of it come to me there. That dont make no odds. That storys jus what ever it is and thats what storys are.”

1ce we got a good offing from Bernt Arse we come down be twean Brabbas Horn and Sel Out Form. They ben manooring ther arrabl we wer smelling cow shit on all sides of us. We come on to the A20 then which the Ram hevvys all ways roadit that track be twean Bernt Arse and Fork Stoan but I wernt looking for nothing to be moving on it this nite.