Susan Pfeffer - Shade of the Moon

Miranda laughed. “I wouldn’t be holding my baby if it wasn’t for you,” she said. “You and Jon. You’re the godparents, like it or not. Right, Alex?”

“Right,” Alex said. “Everybody out. Except Gabe.”

They left the car and, holding on to each other’s hand, walked down the slope to the brook.

“Are the godparents here?” Alex asked.

Jon squeezed Sarah’s hand. “We are,” he said.

“Alex, do you know what you’re doing?” Miranda asked.

Alex grinned. “I’m winging it,” he said. “But I don’t think God will mind.” He bent over, wet his fingers with the water from the stream then made the sign of the cross on the baby’s forehead. “I baptize thee…”

“Liana Hope,” Miranda said. “Liana Hope Morales.”

“Oh, I like that,” Sarah said. “Oops. I’m sorry.”

“I like it, too,” Alex said. “I baptize thee Liana Hope Morales in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

“Amen,” they all said.

“Can I hold her?” Jon asked. “Just for a moment?”

“Of course you can,” Miranda said. “You’re her uncle. Make sure to support her head. Yes, that’s right.”

Jon stared at his niece. Dawn was breaking, and hazy sunlight made it possible for him to see what she looked like. Her hair was dark like Alex’s, but her eyes were Miranda’s. “Liana Hope,” he said. He held his pinkie out, and the baby grabbed it. “Look at that,” he said. “That’s amazing.”

“I think all babies do that,” Sarah said. “But Liana Hope is the most beautiful one ever.”

Jon kissed his niece on her forehead and then handed her back to Miranda. “The most beautiful one ever,” he said.

“We’ve got to get going,” Alex said. “We can’t take any more chances.”

Jon nodded. “You go on,” he said. “I’m going back to Sexton.”

“Jon, what are you talking about?” Miranda asked.

“I can’t let Lisa face this alone,” Jon said.” You keep going. I won’t say anything about where you are. You can trust me.”

“It’s not a question of trust,” Alex said. “Jon, do you have any idea of what you’re risking?”

“You might never see us again,” Miranda said.

“I know,” he said. “But I can’t ask Lisa to take the blame for something I did.”

“I did it, too,” Sarah said. “I’ll go back with you.”

“Sarah, go to Virginia,” Jon said. “I want you to be safe, remember?”

“Matt will know where we are,” Miranda said. “Take care of Lisa, Jon. And thank her for everything she did.”

“You’ll have to walk back to the highway,” Alex said. “You should be able to hitch a ride with a trucker. Tell them you were going to visit family, but the car broke down, and your driver vanished, so you need a lift back. Give us until tomorrow. Lie low today. All right?”

“All right,” Jon said.

“Will you see my father?” Sarah asked.

“I’d better not,” Jon said. “We don’t know how this is going to play out. Maybe no one will care, and Lisa and I will get away, no problem. But if there is trouble, I’ve got to do what I can to protect her.”

Alex nodded. “Take care, Jon. Do what you can for Lisa.”

“I love you,” Jon said, hoping that each of them, even the sleeping children, knew he meant it. “I’ll find my way back to you, somehow. I promise.”

Sarah embraced him, but she broke away and walked with Alex and Miranda to the car. Jon stood by the stream and watched as they drove off. He thought he heard Sarah crying, but Alex pulled away so rapidly, he couldn’t be sure.

It didn’t matter. They were all about to start new lives, better lives. Jon was starting his own new life. Just not a better one.

He’d gotten a lift with a trucker who was hauling a couple dozen grubs to work in the greenhouses. From the sounds in the back, the grubs weren’t too happy about it, but the trucker said he was earning a lot of overtime hauling grubs from all over to replace the ones who’d died during the riots.

Jon thought about the truck Alex had wanted so badly, but he couldn’t imagine him hauling grubs. Carlos would have, though, and Alex would have taken his share of the money. He wouldn’t have told Miranda where the money came from. Bad times made for big secrets.

The trucker let Jon off at the greenhouses. From there Jon had to walk to the nearest claver bus stop, about four miles. It was dark by the time he got home, but he didn’t mind. He felt safe being in Sexton. It wasn’t safe, but for a little while at least Jon was a claver, and clavers were safe.

Still, he felt uneasy when he saw the house was dark. He called for Lisa, then Ruby, but there was no answer.

Most likely Lisa was at work, he told himself. Ruby might have taken off when she saw Gabe was missing. Or Lisa might have sent her back to White Birch or to some clavers who needed another grub. Jon couldn’t picture Lisa scrubbing floors, but maybe without Gabe around, Lisa didn’t care if the floors were clean.

It was also possible the police had tracked Lisa down and she and Ruby were being held. Even if Lisa claimed full responsibility, the cops might keep Ruby. If they let Ruby go, there’d be no reason for her to come back. She’d be sent to a different family, to crawl into a different man’s bed.

Jon sat in the living room, thinking about his options. He couldn’t go to the police, not unless he knew Lisa was being held. If she was, he could take full blame, and the police might release her. But if the police hadn’t made the connection yet between Lisa and the baby, it would be a disaster for Jon to show up.

He could call her office, to see if Lisa was there, but that would only be to make himself feel better. If she wasn’t there, it could make things worse. Maybe Lisa had changed her mind and left Sexton. She could have called into work that morning, said she was sick and not coming in, and grabbed a ride out of town with a trucker, just as Jon had grabbed a ride in with one. For all he knew, Lisa could be at Matt’s already. She could have brought Ruby with her.

Maybe Lisa had figured out a way to let the authorities know she was to blame and no one else was. Or maybe she didn’t care anymore if someone else was held responsible just as long as she could be with Gabe.

Or maybe she was working late and would come home any minute, and she and Jon could discuss what to do next.

Jon went into the kitchen and took some chicken out of the refrigerator, but after a bite or two he put it back. He was tired, dirty, and hungry, but more than anything, he was scared. How many years had it been since he was alone in a house? Even back in Pennsylvania it seemed like there had always been someone around. And back in Pennsylvania there had been no reason to feel this engulfing terror.

He walked upstairs. He couldn’t be sure what tomorrow would bring, but he’d be better off getting a good night’s sleep. It could well be the last one he’d have in this house, in any house.

Lisa’s bedroom door was closed. Jon opened it and turned on a light. She was sitting in her desk chair, her head down on the desk. Almost immediately Jon noticed the gun lying on the floor by her side.

Jon had been with his father when he died. He had seen his mother’s corpse hanging from a tree. Death had been as much of a part of his life as hunger and fear.

He walked to Lisa. She’d shot herself in her heart. There was no way of knowing if the shot had killed her or if she’d died a slower death, her blood flowing out of her. It didn’t matter, really. Dead was dead.

She’d left a note.

I take full responsibility for the kidnapping of the Stockton baby.