S. Bodeen - The Compound

He stopped to scratch his neck. “No, you would have grown up not knowing what it’s like to have to work, to strive. I wanted to see if we could do it, if our family would really have what it takes to survive.” He paused for a moment. “I have enough money to do anything, go anywhere. To take my children anywhere, buy them anything they want. How long would that have kept us satisfied? Before I even married your mother, I had already discovered that about money. Eventually you run out of things to buy. No, that’s not quite it.” He seemed to search for the right words. “Eventually you run out of things to buy that truly make you happy.”

Lexie broke in, speaking between sobs. “You had all of us. Didn’t we make you happy?”

Dad pulled a roll of antacid tablets out of his pocket. They were crumbly, in small pieces, so he sprinkled the remnants into his hand. He raised his hand to his mouth, then chewed before continuing. “Yes, Lexie. Of course. You all mean more to me than anything. I wanted to show you the world. But what would be left once you had seen everything, done everything?”

He leaned an elbow on the bar. “I didn’t want you to feel like I did, that the world had a limit on new experiences. I didn’t want you to feel like all the pioneering is over. The world out there doesn’t provide challenges like this. No one has ever done this before. I wanted us to be pioneers. I wanted to prove that we can do it. We will be the only people to theoretically survive a nuclear winter.”

“That’s it?” I shrugged when I would rather have screamed. “Couldn’t we have just hopped a flight to the moon?”

“Any idiot with a million dollars will be able to do that soon.” Dad chuckled a little. “Oh, come on, there’s always a bottom line. Even as we speak I’m working on a more conventional, readily available prototype of the Compound. Because once we emerge and share our story, everyone will want one of these for themselves.” He spread his arms out wide for emphasis, then dropped them to his side. “For their families. So they can survive. And they will thank us for proving it can be done as they follow in our footsteps. Just like the people who followed those first pioneers into the West.”

I groaned. “And what, the Supplements were just meant to be collateral damage?”

Dad shook his head. “I never would have touched them, not in that way. They’re our children”—he nodded at Mom—“as much as any of you are.”

Lexie stood up. “How can you say that?” She flung one arm in the direction of the hallway. “They’ve been stuck in that yellow room since they were born.”

“And what’s so bad about the yellow room? What did you have as a child that they don’t?”

“Everything!” Lexie cried. “A real school. Friends.”

“Friends?” Dad rolled his eyes. “None of you kids ever had a friend that wasn’t there for your money or your last name.”

Mom wiped her eyes as she spoke up. “There’s something to be said for fresh air and sunshine.”

Dad nodded. “Yes. But they’ve also never seen violence on TV or been snowed over by advertisements. They don’t sit in front of the television and beg for everything they see. They aren’t brats like—”

Oh God. Like me. They weren’t brats like me.

Lexie gasped. “Like us? Is that what you were going to say?”

Dad turned to me. “Do you know when this Compound turned for me?”

I didn’t understand.

“I began building this place solely for survival. When you boys were born. I truly hoped we would never have to enter it as a family. In the beginning, that’s all it was. A safety net. Do you want to know when it turned into something else?”

I wasn’t sure if I did or not. “Yes.”

“You were seven. We went to the Rockies after Christmas.”

My breath caught in my throat, remembering. Our house in Colorado was part of the Rockies Club, a spectacular gated community with its own private ski hill. Our house was the biggest and most elaborate, the only one with a heated mile-long driveway, so that it would always stay clear for Dad to get to the helicopter pad in case he needed to leave for business.

“Remember, Eli?”

I nodded.

“I got a call from D.C. during a heavy snowfall. I planned to fly out the next morning after the snow stopped.”

I didn’t want to remember.

I went outside after dark to the propane tank, the forty-thousand-gallon tank that heated the driveway. So Dad could go wherever he needed to. So he could leave us again, screw up another family vacation for work. Screw up my plans for the next day. I wanted him to stay, wanted him to watch me on my new snowboard, wanted him to make hot chocolate afterward. So I turned off the valve on the tank. It was easy, the caretaker had shown me one day so I would quit bothering him. And in the morning—

“I couldn’t get out of the driveway. Remember, Eli? And you confessed. You cried, said you only wanted me to stay. You wanted me to be with you all the time, every day.”

I covered my eyes with one hand.

“I realized I was screwing up, leaving you all so much for work. And I didn’t want to anymore. I wanted to be with you all the time. Like you wanted me to be with you, son.”

And once again, I had gotten what I wanted.

I dropped my hand and looked at my father. No way was I taking the blame. “That doesn’t explain the rest of it. The food… the babies… God, the cloning?” I looked at Lexie.

Lexie looked back at me, her face shiny with tears.

He sighed. “That was merely a matter of seeing how far you would all go to survive.”

Mom let out a cry. She launched herself toward Dad, pummeling him with her fists.

He shoved her away, not unkindly.

Still, I lost it.

With every ounce of my strength and rage, I punched him in the face.

I’d never hit anyone before. The feel of his bones and flesh connecting with my hand sickened me. And it hurt. But touching him didn’t bother me. Or stop me from hitting him again. With my extra five inches of height and a good thirty pounds on him, it was no contest.

Lexie jumped onto my back, trying to stop me as blood spurted from his nose. Her arms were tight around my neck, her breathing heavy and warm in my ear, her body a dead weight on my back.

I paused at the sensation, wanting to freak out. To run away. But it wasn’t enough to stop me.

Dad lost his balance and fell off the stool. It looked like he was in slow motion. His head bounced on the floor. He slammed to a stop into the oak bar, and then was still.

With Lexie on my back, I straddled him. His neck was hot under my hands as I watched him through my veil of hair and gripped tighter, wanting to choke the life from him.

Lexie’s arms grew tighter around my neck until I couldn’t breathe. She pulled me back, away from him as she screamed. “Stop it! Stop it!”

Sweat dripped down my back.

My heart raced.

I’d been touched and I had touched and I was still alive. Only thing was, I didn’t know if Dad still was.

MY KNUCKLES WERE COVERED IN BLOOD. I DIDN’T KNOW IF IT was mine or his.

I backed away and Lexie finally got off. I felt so light without her.

Mom knelt by Dad. “Rex?”

He groaned. His eyes stayed closed. He didn’t utter any other sounds.

“Mom?” Lexie’s voice was shaky. She turned to me, her face red and blotched. “What did you do? Now we’ll never get out!”

Had I just messed up everything? I let my hair stay where it was, covering my face.