S. Bodeen - The Fallout

I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I had no idea.

That night we all sat around the dining-room table eating Mexican food. Except for Cara, seated next to me, banging her spoon on the table, none of us said anything. There was only the clinking of silver on china as we devoured Els’s chicken-and-cheese enchiladas with green sauce.

I dumped another spoonful of guacamole on top of mine, then reached for the crystal bowl of sour cream.

Food was still a bit overwhelming for us all. In the Compound, we’d gotten so used to eating the dregs: lame nourishment that wouldn’t have even made the cut for a typical food pyramid.

Stale, broken pasta.

Limp, nearly flavorless produce from the flagging hydroponics.

Canned and boxed goods well past their prime.

Meat had been but a memory, something I’d last eaten when I was thirteen; dairy products had disappeared long before that.

The tastes and textures we had missed for so long became something to focus on. Except for the little kids making noise, our meals tended to be silent as we all dug in, savoring the fresh flavors. Only when everyone was full did we start talking.

Eddy said, “School starts soon.”

“I want to go to college,” said Lexie.

Mom looked up at her. “I was thinking more along the lines of online school for you all. Just for this year, anyway. Until you are all used to being back.”

Eddy looked at me, then back at Mom. “I thought we’d go back to our old school.”

Mom shook her head. “There’s already so much speculation. I’d rather we give it a chance to all blow over.”

“Right!” Lexie rolled her eyes. “The richest guy in America keeps his entire family prisoner underground for years, and you expect it to blow over? God, Mom, we’re never going to stop being freaks. Might as well let us out of the house to be freaks. I want to study something. Take actual dance lessons. Be a real person for once.” She shook her head. “I turn eighteen in less than three months.”

“I realize that.” Mom sighed. “I just think it’s too soon.”

Lexie glared down at her plate. That was the most outspoken she’d been for weeks. And I had to admit, I was actually glad to see her mad for once, after being sad for so long.

Gram said, “Eddy was with me in Hawaii most of the time, at the local school. No one around here has seen him since you left.”

I blurted out, “No one knows what we look like now.” I glanced at Lucas and Cara and Quinn. “And no one has ever seen them. We could use a fake name. Like you do.” Mom had been using Gram’s grandmother’s maiden name for everything: buying the house and all our online ordering. No one had any way of knowing it, and it kept the Yanakakis name off all our mail as well.

Reese said, “Yeah! I don’t want to be online. I want friends. Mercer Island has a middle school.”

I wasn’t sure I could see myself walking into Mercer Island High, pretending to care about making the honor roll and football games and asking someone to homecoming. After what I’d been through, how could I?

Mom narrowed her eyes. “And what will all of you do when your friends want to see where you live? Meet your family?” She shook her head. “I just can’t allow anyone in here. I’m not ready.”

Reese was quiet a moment, then said, “I could go to their houses until you’re ready. And by that time, they’ll be my friends and they won’t care who I am.”

“Good luck with that.” I sighed. “People always care who you are.” I shoved my food around my plate.

I’d spent enough of my life trapped. Even though our new place was great, I didn’t need it to turn into another bunch of walls keeping me prisoner. “I can’t be stuck here like we were stuck there.” I met Mom’s eyes. “I just can’t. I want to get my GED and go to college, too.”

Mom said, “Eli, you’re fifteen years old.”

“So? I’ve done nothing but study the past three years. I can get my GED and take the SATs while I’m working at YK.” I didn’t mention that there was no way, after what I’d been through, that I could immerse myself in the shallow, day-to-day dramas of the average teenager. I’d lost any chance there’d ever been to be that person.

Mom shook her head. “You’re not working at YK.”

“You said you wanted us involved!”

She sighed. “Not in an actual position.” She held up her hand before I could protest. “Stop. All of you. I get it.”

Eddy said, “We can protect each other.”

Mom looked down at her plate. “You have to understand that this is hard as a parent. I worry about every one of you, each and every moment of the day. At least in the Compound… I always knew where you were. I always knew you were safe. And the thought of just letting you all go to school, out there, where I won’t always know where you are…” She trailed off.

Lexie said, “Mom, you can’t hide us forever. We have to grow up and have lives at some point.” She added, “Otherwise, you’re no different from Dad.”

Mom’s mouth fell open and she dropped her fork.

“Lexie!” Eddy snapped so sharply that Cara dropped her spoon and looked up at him with wide eyes. She was still skittish around Eddy most of the time, so I set a hand on her head to reassure her as I quietly added, “Yeah, Lex. Slight difference there.”

Lexie glared at me. “Really? You know you’re thinking it. We left one prison for another one with better food and more natural light.”

“Stop it, you two.” Mom put an elbow on the table and leaned her head into her hand. “I know. I understand what you’re all saying. But can’t we just hold off a little while?” She looked at Lexie. “Until your birthday? That gives you a couple months to just… adjust. In the meantime, you can do things online, study for your SATs—for this first semester—and then decide?”

Eddy looked pissed off, but he didn’t say anything.

Reese said, “I want to go out and do stuff. We haven’t been anywhere for so long.”

I nodded. “I agree. If we do stay home for school, we need to be able to go out.” I tilted my head toward Lucas and Cara. “They’ve never seen anything in Seattle.”

Mom shook her head. “I really want you all to stay anonymous for as long as possible. Just… just until you all adjust.”

She could have said Just until you all stop being freaks . That would have been more honest. Except for the fact it was never going to happen.

We would always be freaks.

I stuck my fork in an enchilada and it stayed there, pointing straight up. My appetite was gone.

Lexie said, “I have an idea.” She looked around at all of us. “Mom, what if we agreed to all go out together one day to someplace. Just for fun. Just to get out of here.”

Reese asked, “Where?”

“Just a sec.” Lexie pushed her chair back and stood up. “Hold on.” She left the room and came back a moment later, several pens and a pad of paper in her hand. She held them up. “We all put down a place on here, then draw them out of a hat. Each week, or a couple times a week, we’ll go somewhere different.” She looked at Mom. “We’ll take a car and a bodyguard and we’ll stay together.”

Reese said, “Yes! I agree with the idea.”

I nodded. Eddy looked down at his plate, but I couldn’t see the look on his face. Did he not want to go out?

Mom rolled her eyes and said, “Fine. But we’re still sticking to the rest until your birthday, right?”

“Yeah,” said Lexie. She started tearing off sheets of paper and passing them around.

Reese said, “Cara and Quinn are too little.”

Lucas raised his hand. “I’ll think of places for them.” Then he put his hand back down and looked at me. “I don’t know any places.”