Kyle West - Revelation

“What are you doing now?” I asked, to break the silence more than anything else.

Ashton donned a face mask, then dripped some of my blood from the vial onto a clean petri dish.

“Looking for signs of xenolife,” he said.

It was quiet again. I fiddled with my hands. I always hated the feeling of not doing something. It made me think too much, worry too much. And now I had a lot to worry about.

“Hmm. We’ve got xenolife in here. That’s for sure.”

I looked up from my hands. “What kind?”

“Just a minute.” Ashton squeezed one eye shut, peering through the microscope with the other. “The basic structure is all the same. Only I can’t tell anymore unless I can compare it with what we already have in my database. I’m going to need to return to Skyhome to analyze it. When I compare with what I already have on file, I can be absolutely sure that it’s something new.”

Hearing him say that made me wonder what I was doing here. If he could just take my blood sample home and analyze it there…

“Wait…” I said.

I realized exactly why I was here. He didn’t just want to take a blood sample to Skyhome. He wanted to take me .

“I’m not going back to Skyhome,” I said.

Ashton looked at me. “This is necessary, Alex. I hate to take you away from this, but this is an opportunity we can’t pass up. Coupled with what I discovered from the spire, this might be just what we needed. We will be able to find out if…”

“…If I’m dangerous?”

I was standing, now. I felt dangerous. And angry. I didn’t want to be taken from here.

Ashton backed into a corner, his eyes wide. “Alex, there’s no need to…that’s not what I meant!”

I calmed myself down. “I’m not volunteering for this, Ashton. You have my blood sample. If you need anything else, I’ll give it to you. I can’t leave here. I’m needed.”

He looked at me. I could tell he was trying to think of what to say next, wondering what the magic words would be to get me to agree. There were no magic words, though. Nothing could get me to agree to this.

I heard the blast door to the outside sliding open beyond the clinic, then footsteps running down the corridor. Ashton said nothing as Anna appeared in the doorway.

“Anna, he’s trying to take me back,” I said.

Anna didn’t say anything for a moment, but she didn’t have to. Her silence said everything for me.

“Ashton told us that, and…we all think it’s best, for now.”

I couldn’t believe it. The feeling of betrayal welled up, so much that I thought I was going to break down right there.

“This can’t be happening.”

“You’re not well,” Anna said, her eyes full of concern. “Surely, you can see that much? I’ll come with you, so you don’t have to be alone.”

I turned away. They couldn’t just push me away like this, all because my eyes were white. I sat down, too weak to move — too weak to resist, or shout, or be angry. The wind had been taken out of my sails.

“You don’t have to come with me,” I said. “You’ll probably be more useful here.”

I didn’t look at her, and I didn’t want to see the pain in her eyes. Worse, I was more afraid that there wouldn’t be any pain there. That nothing I said or did mattered. Apparently, that was how it was going to be. They had all decided this, behind my back, in the past ten minutes.

“Why?” I asked, unable to mask the pain.

“We knew you wouldn’t agree,” Ashton said.

“You were afraid I would attack you.”

“No, of course not,” Anna said. “Aren’t we allowed to make mistakes?”

“Seriously?” I asked, at last looking up. “You’re trying to make me feel guilty? You’re the one who made the mistake. You are the one in the wrong.”

Anna pursed her lips, crossing her arms.

“This is decided already,” Ashton said. “It’ll be best for you, too. You can’t be here when the xenovirus is living inside you.” Ashton gazed at me intensely. “Get that in your head. The xenovirus is living inside you. It has transformed your blood and your eyes. That much is clear. Do you really think your being here is the best idea right now? Yes, you are not a Howler. No, you are not violent. But there’s nothing that says you won’t be, in time.”

I couldn’t argue with him. No one could predict what was going to happen to me.

“I’m coming with you,” Anna said. “We’ll get this taken care of, and come back to Earth.”

Ashton said nothing in response to that. I knew it probably wasn’t going to be that simple.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them. I wanted out of this room. Out of this mission.

Out of everything.

I sighed. If everyone wanted me out of the way, then there was little point in staying here.

“Take me to Skyhome, then.”

I felt betrayed, not just by Anna, not just by Ashton, but by everyone.

“We don’t know what to expect, Alex,” Anna said. “This wasn’t easy.”

“It’s not that you made this decision,” I said. “It’s that you kept me out of it.”

Neither responded. Maybe I was being stubborn, but I still deserved to be part of major group decisions like this. Maybe they didn’t trust my ability to reason, anymore. Maybe they thought the xenovirus would make that impossible for me.

It was clear from Anna’s stern expression that she had already steeled herself against any protest I might make. They all had. I wasn’t going to leave this clinic on my own, not until everyone was sure that I wasn’t going to turn on them.

“The others aren’t even going to see me off, then?”

“I told them to hang back,” Ashton said.

“Why? In case I get dangerous?” I glowered at Ashton. “These are my friends, and you’re keeping them from me. You think I’m going to snap and kill everyone.”

“You could!” Ashton said. “We don’t know what will happen to you, and until we find out, I’m keeping as few people around you as possible. It’s enough that the old geezer gets to risk himself. I told Anna to stay away, but here she is now, against my orders.” Ashton quieted. I looked at Anna, and saw from her eyes that what Ashton said was true. Ashton continued, quietly. “She’s not disloyal to you. Quite the opposite.”

“I would never hurt any of you,” I said, looking at Anna. “Least of all Anna.”

“Yes, you are in control now,” Ashton said. “But for how long? These are questions that need answering immediately. We are going to Skyhome; end of story.”

It was settled, then. Anna and Ashton were taking me hostage while we left everyone else behind in the cold desert, all so Ashton could play scientist. I knew, deep down, that nothing was wrong with me. What was frustrating was that I couldn’t get them to see that. All they saw was a potential Howler ready to snap.

And I can’t say I blamed them. I was to become a lab rat, and then what?

“This isn’t right,” I said.

They both looked at me, willing me not to move or do anything rash. I could believe one of two things: what they were saying, or what I was feeling. This feeling within me was so much stronger than all their words. I almost wanted it to be the opposite. Going along with what they wanted would be easier. But I knew I was right. I had dreamed the answer, and I knew this answer to be true. The Wanderer had spoken to me in that dream, that revelation. I had to believe in myself, and that was all that mattered.

“We’re doing this all wrong,” I said. “You need to listen to me.”

Anna and Ashton moved to block the doorway. I ignored them.