Keary Taylor - Eden

I gave a nod, my eyes falling away from his again.

“Are you going to be okay?”

I let out a sigh and shook my head. “I don’t know. I still don’t know what to think about it all. This is…” I couldn’t think of the word that described what this was.

“You know you can always talk to me if you need, right?” he said quietly.

My eyes met his again. “Always,” I said softly as I raised my other hand and held it against his rough cheek. “Have you slept at all since?”

He gave a chuckle and I dropped my hand back to the bed. “I fell asleep about twenty minutes ago. Other than that I couldn’t really. You really had me worried.”

“Sorry,” I said, trying to smile back. “Have they left?”

Avian nodded. “West and Tuck went with their team last night. They should be back before dawn if everything goes smooth.”

I nodded my head that I heard him. Grabbing the rail with my other hand, I pulled myself forward with Avian’s reluctant assistance. As I swung my legs over the edge of the bed I realized I was wearing a loose fitting gown of some sort.

“You changed my clothes?” I asked as I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Your other ones got a little… wet,” he said uncomfortably as his eyes dropped away from my face.

“Oh. That’s incredibly embarrassing,” I said as I couldn’t look at Avian either.

Avian chuckled, putting his hand under my chin to make me look at him. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re feeling better. At least you seem to be.”

“I feel fine,” I said as I stood. As I did I felt a draft come in from behind me. My stomach jumped to my throat as I looked to see where it was coming from. “Uh, where is the rest of this thing?”

Avian laughed out loud, something he rarely did. I suddenly wished he would do it more often. It did amazing things to his face- and my chest. “It’s a hospital gown. They’re made to… easily access everything.”

“Nothing back or down there needs to be easily accessed,” I said as I pulled the openings closed, shifting there uncomfortably.

Avian opened a cupboard and grabbed another gown and handed it to me. I pulled it on backwards, only feeling slightly more comfortable. “I think they washed your clothes and put them back in your room,” he said as his eyes settled on mine again.

I nodded, looking around for my pack. I found it sitting on the counter by the door.

“I didn’t think you’d be happy if they took that,” Avian said as he grabbed it and handed it over to me. “I hid it from them so they wouldn’t try and sterilize it as well.”

“Thanks,” I said, forming a small smile as I pulled it on. I felt myself relax just a bit.

“You’re welcome,” he said, his lips still in a slight smile as his eyes fixed on me. I felt all those strange emotions building up inside of me again.

“I need to do something today, tonight, whatever it is right now. I can’t tell with no windows open in this place.”

“We’ll talk to Royce, I’m sure there’s something you could help with.”

“I need to get out ,” I clarified as I walked to the door and opened it. “The air tastes weird in here. Everyone else has already breathed it. I need to get outside.”

Avian asked me a million questions as we walked down the hall, trying to assess my physical health. He held his fingers to my neck for a while, timing my pulse to the watch on his wrist. His eyes studied me as we left the elevator and I started back toward my room.

“I’m not going to be able to talk you into resting anymore, am I?” he asked as he leaned against the door frame of my room.

“You would be correct,” I said as I gave him a smile and closed the door.

I found my clothes clean and folded on the counter in my room. It felt like a relief to pull them on. I could think of nothing more uncomfortable to wear than a hospital gown. Someone must have wanted to torture patients. I cinched my pack tight to my back and Avian followed me to the main floor to search out Royce.

Ten minutes later I was outside in the dark night, walking the streets with a man who had not spoken one word to me. That was just fine with me. I was just glad to be outside.

It was unnerving, seeing all the eyes and faces inside the buildings. I expected them to burst through the glass at any moment and tackle us to the ground.

It was a relief to be outside but it wasn’t the same as being back home, or even being in the desert. I still felt so small, so closed in. Buildings rose all around us, closing us in. I felt like they were blinding me.

Two hours after I had been allowed to join the others on patrol, the sound of the tanks echoed off the buildings around us. I followed them to the back of the hospital where they parked. Two armed guards jumped out of the top hatches first and one by one, my family members started climbing out of the tanks. All fifteen of them were there. West climbed out last, joining me as we watched the others go in through a back door to the hospital.

“Are you feeling okay now?” West said as he walked with me around the perimeter of the building again.

“Better,” I replied simply. It was the truth, if only a little bit. I vowed to myself I wasn’t going to go into shock again. “What did the others say when you arrived?”

“They were surprised, that’s for sure,” West said with a chuckle. “Tess and Van were really freaked out. She actually ran when she saw us. But we told them what we’d found. It didn’t take too much convincing to get them to come with us. I think they all liked the idea of running water and toilets.”

“They are certainly nice, in their own way.” It took everything I had in me not to run.

“I can’t wait till everyone gets here,” West said as he stared at the stars above us. “It will be nice to have everyone back together again.”

I just gave a nod. I didn’t like awkward moments. How was one supposed to remedy it?

“Time to get inside, you two,” one of the scouts said as we rounded to the front of the hospital. “It’s almost dawn.”

Neither of us said anything as we walked through the front sliding glass doors. As the last of the scouts came inside, the steel doors closed over the glass ones and we were once again caged in. Before I had to face West anymore, I ducked away, escaping into my room.

The next day I rambled around the halls, half checking on the members of our group, half just aimlessly wandering as I felt lost in my thoughts.

With the revelation of the fact that there was a very good chance West was my brother it seemed like my choice should have been made very obvious now. If West really was my brother obviously I couldn’t pick him. I wouldn’t want to pick him. And even if the paternity test came back negative, would I ever look at West the same? Could I ever kiss him again without thinking about it all?

It should have been so easy to finally choose Avian. I had wanted to pick and now my other possibility had been essentially taken out. But it all seemed so unfair. This was too abrupt. There were too many other things going on. It felt impossible to seriously consider my emotional feelings, anything romantic or involving love.

I still wasn’t ready to decide if anything I was feeling was love.

It was difficult to adjust to the schedule they kept at the hospital. We slept during the middle of the day, woke around eight at night, had breakfast, and once it was dark outside the scouts went out on patrol. Lunch was served in the middle of the night and dinner was served a an hour after dawn. It felt so off, but only if you paid attention to the actual times. Night and day looked pretty much the same in the hospital considering the windows were only open when it was pitch dark outside.