Keary Taylor: The Human

I closed the door behind me, leaning back on it. I let my eyes fall closed and pressed my hands in on either side of my head.

Goals. What goals had I had before the Pulse went off?

Survive. Protect my family.

What was I working for anymore?

Nothing.

And it was mentally breaking me.

Letting out a slow breath, internally telling myself to calm down, I opened my eyes.

There was a folded piece of paper lying on my bed. I crossed the room and picked it up. The page was half filled with sloppy handwriting.

You were obsessed with manuals as a kid. You read faster than anyone I’d ever met and you always wanted to read the most boring stuff. Someone left the manual for some piece of equipment in your room once and you read the whole thing in less than an hour. When I came to visit you that afternoon, you recounted every detailed instruction on how to use it to me. Told me how to fix a dozen different problems that might arise with it.

After that, you were obsessively curious about every piece of equipment in the lab. You wanted to know how the treadmill you always ran on worked. You wanted to know how the blood testing machines worked. You wanted to know how everything mechanical worked.

So I started swiping manuals for you. There was this filing cabinet in one of the offices where NovaTor kept them all. So every few days I’d sneak in and take one or two for you. You’d devour them instantly and impatiently wait for me to bring others.

The first time you remember meeting me was when I stole from Eden, but the first time I ever stole something was for you.

My eyes swept the page two or three times. I searched inside of myself, looking for that girl who liked to read boring instruction manuals. But if there was any tiny trace of her in there, I couldn’t find her.

West was playing a game of tactics with me. He knew how desperately I wanted to remember my past, to understand who I was and why I had become the thing I was today. He was going to try and make me change my mind about choosing Avian by telling me all the stories of the two of us as children.

It wasn’t going to work.

But I couldn’t blame West for trying.

The next morning I found another note slipped under my door.

I fell asleep in your room once. I think we were probably about seven. I don’t know if Dad or Grandpa forgot about me or what, but they left me there. The only time it ever happened.

But next thing I knew, you were sitting bolt upright in bed, screaming and crying that the walls were crushing in on you. I was pretty freaked out. Your emotional blockers were turned up full blast then and that was the most emotion I’d ever seen come from you. I mean, you were actually crying. The only time I’ve ever seen you cry.

When you saw I was still in the room, you hugged me and held on so tight I was covered in bruises the next day.

When Dad found me in the morning, he tried to take me back to our living quarters but you flipped out. You wouldn’t let me leave.

I crumpled both of the notes and hid them in the back of my pants drawer. Bracing my hands on the dresser, I let my head hang in between my arms, my hair cascading around my face.

Like West had described in that nightmare from so long ago, it felt like the walls of this hospital were crushing in on me. West was a ghost that was present at all times. One that threatened to drown me and choke me from the inside out.

“Eve?”

My head jerked up to see Avian standing in the doorway, concern radiating off of him.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I lied.

“We’re sweeping block eight today,” Avian said. He stood at the front of the room next to Elijah. Avian drew a circle around the block on the map that hung on the wall before us. He capped the pen and turned back toward the crew.

“Tuck and the BRC cleared the bodies from there five days ago,” Elijah spoke up. “Dr. Sun said that should be long enough for any communicable diseases from the bodies to die out. Still, it is recommended you wear a mask and throw in an antibody fogger before entering any buildings.”

Bill started passing out small cans. Royce had developed them, with the help of Dr. Beeson’s team. They could kill out any remaining organisms and keep us from contracting any diseases from the rotting Bane bodies.

Avian and Elijah’s teams were doing a combined scout today.

“Let’s move out,” Avian said.

Avian insisted I work with the rehoming crew that day. I was going to go insane and he knew it. So for today, I would do something productive, even if the extra help wasn’t needed. Regardless of how it made my chest constrict and the thought of living here forever.

We all filed out into the hall and toward the south entrance. We were nearly out the doors when West stepped into the lobby, dressed for duty.

So far I’d managed to avoid him in the twenty-four hours since his last note.

Avian fixed West with a grim expression and I couldn’t seem to look at West.

“West has asked to join the rehoming crew,” Elijah said in his rough voice. “Dr. Stone cleared him yesterday.”

That was all the explanation Elijah gave. Because what else could he say?

I picked up my pace and moved to the front of our crew. I fell in next to Bill.

“Looks like this is about to turn into an awkward day,” he said.

“Yeah.”

I didn’t look back as we headed for block eight. I had work to do and work was what I was good at.

Block eight was a solid looking row of apartments and two abandoned restaurants. They were older, but they seemed structurally sound. Window flower boxes hung from each unit, dried and scraggly looking plants lying dead in them.

“I want three soldiers to each unit,” Elijah said loud enough the crowd would hear him. “Avian and I will take the commercial buildings.”

I practically glued myself to Bill’s side and pulled Nick into our circle. West met my eyes and shook his head. He turned to Graye and joined him and Raj.

Something heated under my skin and I swear, I could feel the tickle of a blackout in the back of my head.

“Let’s go,” Bill said, grabbing the collar of my jacket and dragging me toward the building. Balling my fists just once more, I turned and followed him and Nick toward a unit on the upper floor.

“You got this one?” Bill asked Nick.

He held up one of the cans and shook it violently to activate it. “On the count of three.” Bill nodded, placing his hand on the door knob. “Three…” Nick counted. I held my shotgun ready, even though I knew there wouldn’t be any Bane inside. Instinct dies hard. “Two… One…”

Bill pushed the door open a foot and Nick depressed the button on the top of the can and threw it inside. Bill yanked the door closed again.

Once the button was pushed on the antibody can you had exactly four seconds before it started fogging. Get locked in a room with one and you’re dead.

We had to wait sixty seconds before we could enter the building. Nick watched the time tick away on his watch.

“How’s Avian handling everything?” Bill asked quietly. Nick glanced up at us, but as usual for him, he remained silent.

“It’s harder this time,” I said, looking over the railing to the units below. “Avian got pretty pissed off when West got a little too close the other night. Royce was pretty angry too.”

“That boy’s going to have to learn to follow common sense someday,” Bill said, shaking his head.

I didn’t have a response. This entire situation was hard and I was quickly losing my cool when it came to West and his recovery. But I had in fact had feelings for West. Those weren’t completely gone. I couldn’t just hate West because I had decided I wanted to be with someone else.