Jim Cogan - The Dirty City

Being stalked by vampires is an incredibly unsettling situation – mostly because you never are truly sure if they’re there or not. That shadow out of the corner of your eye, well – it could simply be a shadow of something totally innocuous, and it’s just a paranoid mind creating threatening illusions. But when you think you detect similar shadows almost around every corner you turn down, frankly it’s terrifying.

It took about an hour after darkness fell for it to become completely conclusive that a vampire was tailing me. I’d stuck to my plain sight strategy, but all the while I felt the tension rising.

Then, all it took was a moment. One single moment when there just happened to be no-one within a hundred yards of me. I was positioned on the sidewalk of a main road, well illuminated, I detected a blur of movement to my right then found myself being bundled with extreme force, off the sidewalk and into the looming shadows of an alleyway.

In a split second I had been thrust to the very end of the alley, right to the darkest corner, totally beyond the sight and certainly the help of anyone who might be wondering past on the main road.

At that point I was finally permitted a glimpse of my assailant – he was tall – around six feet, but built fairly averagely. Had he been human I’d have backed myself to have been able to kick his ass from one end of the alley to the other, but I caught sight of the now familiar green glow emanating from his eyes - I knew this guy was no average Joe. As if to demonstrate that very point he ‘flickered’ again right in front of me, and at incredible speed, delivered a sharp punch to my stomach and followed it up with an equally unstoppable forearm smash to the side of my face. I was on the ground in a heap before my body could even fully comprehend how much both those events actually hurt. It’s fair to say that they hurt a hell of a lot.

“So, you’re the schmuck that put a couple of Vitalli’s clowns in the hospital, eh?”

I couldn’t reply, all the wind had been knocked out of me.

“Well, Mr Jerome – my name is McLane, and firstly, I’m going to make you wish you were dead,” he paused and gave an evil grin, revealing a glint of the fangs, “and then I am actually going to kill you.”

“Valance - she offered me a deal!” I just about managed to blurt out through gritted teeth.

Another blow, I think it might have been a boot to the ribs, flipped me over and left me spread-eagled on my back.

“All deals are off, Mr Jerome, and frankly – I think Mistress Valance must have had a momentary lapse in reason to have offered you anything. It would appear she has come to her senses – she was very clear about what was to happen to you when I spoke to her.”

The jumped up punk was really starting to annoy me now, I figured if I was going to die I’d at least go out fighting – and having satisfied my curiosity as to what happens if you try and shoot a vampire. I produced my gun and aimed it in the direction of McLane – or rather, in the direction of where McLane had been just mere moments before. A blurred hand fizzed past my face from behind me and with the greatest of finesse, plucked the gun from fingers. I tried to turn and rise – only to briefly witness McLane towering over me and a quick silver-tinged flash as the bastard pistol whipped me with the handle of my own god damned gun. I hit the floor yet again.

“Pathetic, Mr Jerome, you got anything else?”

Now he circled me, he was the kind of sadistic bastard that got off on this kind of shit, but even he must be getting a bit bored of this now. I was certain that the end must be near.

And so it turned out…But not for me.

There was a hint of movement at the entrance to the alley, then I heard a peculiar sound, a strange series of low pulsing and modulating tones. It had no other affect on me other than to pique my curiosity as to what it was. The same couldn’t be said for McLane.

He fell to his knees, hands grasping his ears – his sharp finger nails visibly lacerating his own flesh. And he began screaming, such anguished wails the like of which I’d never heard, his agony appeared excruciating.

Faint wisps of smoke began to emanate from him as he writhed and convulsed on the ground, his screams rising in pitch and ferocity. I began to back away, reaching the far corner of the alley, recoiling at the macabre display occurring in front of me.

What happened next was truly incredible and shocking. McLane’s whole body sprouted bright yellow flames and he quite literally disintegrated into a cloud of smouldering ash.

“Whoa!” I looked on in stunned disbelief.

As the smoke and ash began to clear I could see that there was little left of McLane other than an area of scorched asphalt on the spot where he had expired.

And through the haze I could see a figure approaching down the alley. My head was spinning so I couldn’t make out the features, but the poise, the gait and stride, I knew it was a female approaching. It appeared that I did have an angel looking out for me after all…

I must have blacked out for a little while because the next thing I knew I was sprawled out in the back of a moving car.

As my vision cleared I looked across and found myself looking into the big brown eyes of Dr Reana Del-Ray.

“Why, Dr Del-Ray. You certainly are a sight for sore eyes.”

“Shh, you’re heavily dehydrated, drink this.”

She shoved a flask into my hands and promptly tipped half of its contents down my throat. Normally I wouldn’t let anyone take such a liberty but I’d literally just been preparing to accept my own mortality mere moments before, having a pretty girl pour water down my throat was pretty tame in comparison. Besides, I was actually really thirsty.

I looked over to see who was driving – sure enough, it was the doctor’s smarmy little associate at the wheel. I still couldn’t remember the guy’s name.

“Hey there, uh…”

“Walter, Mr Jerome, Walter Smitts. How are you doing, feeling a bit better?” He still had that tone of indignation about him.

“Yes - thank you, Walter. I have to say, I know I was a bit dismissive of you both when we first met-.”

“A bit?” Smitts was loving this, I could tell.

“Okay, look, I was out of line, I was a total ass. I should have listened to you both, the world is indeed full of these, I don’t know what else to call ‘em, vampires, you were right, I was wrong, I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, Mr Jerome, I guess it’s lucky we were on hand to help you out.” Del-Ray was at it now, her tone sounded concerned, but her eyes just yelled, ‘I told you so, dummy!’

“But I have to ask, how did you know where to find me – and what the hell did you do to that vampire?”

“We’ve actually been following you for a little while. You gave us the slip a few times, but eventually we figured if we watched your office for long enough then you’d surely appear,” She smiled a little, “can imagine our surprise when we witnessed a female vampire in high heels exit your office via the first floor window? We would have followed her but she was far too quick, so we were stuck with tailing you.”

“You’re in a hell of a lot of trouble, Mr Jerome, it seems everyone wants a piece of you, vampire or otherwise,”

“No shit, Walter, I had noticed. Mobsters and dirty cops I can deal with, but vampires, they’re something else.”

“Indeed they are, we’ve been tracking them for quite a while.” Now that I appeared to be onside with the whole vampire situation, Del-Ray’s demeanour softened somewhat. “And to answer your other question, this is what happened to the vampire who attacked you in the alleyway.”