Rosemary Johns - Rebel Academy - Curse

I hadn't believed that I could love Fox anymore, but yet, I could.

My magic dissolved, and for a moment, I thought that I'd made a terrible mistake.

Were my crows too possessive to love Fox back?

Flair and Echo barreled into Fox's lap. Crack my broomstick, they were going straight for his privates...

I was quite... extremely ...fond of those balls. I had plans for them later.

I shot out my magic in a protective shower of sparks.

Yet instead of pecking, my familiars cuddled Fox, as if they were on my knee, nuzzling in their own version of crow kisses. After a moment, Flair appeared to realize what he was doing. Embarrassed, he turned his beak up like he was only using Fox as a pillow.

My magic fizzled out, and I leaned forward; Fox and my breaths' mingled.

"I love you," I murmured against Fox’s lips, "for your kindness and your courage. And I believe, that you've just earned the eternal love of my familiars. Be grateful, since they're now on your lap and they have an awful tendency to peck."

Fox stiffened and gave a nervous laugh. "I have an Anti-Peck Certificate. It indemnifies me against all crow attacks. I'm bullet proof."

"I'll show our foxy bullet proof ..." Flair dived for Fox's prick like it was a worm, but I snatched Flair by the wing, holding him back.

Then I noticed that Fox was hugging something to his chest by one arm. He hadn't been carrying anything when he'd been shut in the walls. I froze. Through the haze of safe, safe, safe , I recognized the book, which wasn't safe.

It shouldn't even have been in the walls.

How was Fox holding it?

How, how, how?

Now it was me who couldn't breathe.

Fox gently held out Robin's Your Heart's Desire Book to me.

Robin had gifted the book to me in Hecate's glade on the night that he'd died because of our first kiss. It was no more than sheets, which had been ripped out of other books because orphan mages weren't allowed to possess anything. But Robin had risked creating it for me, intending to give it to me at the Enchanted Ball. Such gifts were for those who you planned to court and marry.

Instead, I'd been bound to a fae prince, Titus, who’d been a stranger to me. Robin had still gifted me the book, as well as his first kiss, while knowing that I was to marry another.

It was to be our only moment as lovers together.

It'd been the best kiss of my life.

And it'd killed Robin.

I pressed the back of my palm against my mouth to hold in the sobs.

Fox clasped my other hand, entwining our fingers, before he brushed them over the soft red feathers on the front of the book: the ones that Robin had plucked from his own coat. Robin's bittersweet birdsong magically sang out.

Despite myself, I laughed, as my crows joined in with their own tone-deaf songs. Then I was shocked to silence as the aroma of sweet wild blackberries gusted across my cheeks.

It was too much...

Don't take me back there...to the woods with my best friend and first lover...searching out berries and feeding them to each other, as the juices stained our chins. To the life, joy, and every snatched moment of forbidden freedom. To the sensation of Robin's strong finger tracing my cheek, his emerald eyes, and how he'd awakened me .

Cold prickled against my neck like kisses, and I shivered. My eyes widened.

"What in the witching heavens have you done?" I demanded.

Fox edged backward; he looked half proud and half worried that he was about to be cursed with a Nipple Pinching Hex. "Yeah, about that. I might have freed another ghost. It's my new habit. But it's not a bad one because this one loves you. I can feel it in my bones, blood, and heart. He crushes on you like Tinker Bell does on Peter Pan. Oh, and he's a mage. So, mage solidarity and that."

" Robin ," I breathed.

I shook, and I didn't hear Lysander's concerned calls or Damelza's sneered commands. I was lost: to the past and my personal ghost. I craved nothing but the cool breeze embracing me with a love that I hadn't felt for over a hundred years: Robin .

When the breeze swept away down the corridor, I snatched the Your Heart’s Desire Book. Then I leapt up and followed Ghost Robin. We'd spent our childhoods following no one but each other through the Dead Wood, into the Dreaming Space, or sneaking out at night to lie on the castle’s roof and stargaze. I'd imagined that we'd had our lives together to chase after each other on adventures, even if we were caught within the wards of Rebel Academy.

The span of our lives would've been enough.

But my prayers to Hecate had stolen it from us, along with my mother's attempts to marry me to Titus.

I burst into the Bird Turret, as Ghost Robin danced playfully around my shoulders. He traced cool fingers under my choker to the sensitive skin that tingled at the frosty touch.

I'd missed his touch.

I'd missed him.

"Robin," I called, clutching Your Heart’s Desire Book closer to my chest.

In response, the wind swept in a whirlwind around the room that I'd been shut away in as a child. The magical mural on the walls sprang to life, and I shuddered at its pulsing magic. Hecate's Tree swayed, and frogs hopped in celebration at their base. The sweet scent of the lilies of the valley filled the room.

I tipped my head back and stared up at the indigo roof, as Ghost Robin spiraled higher.

I laughed in shock, as the robins who'd flocked like crimson tears and had been silent as if grieving since Robin and my deaths’, burst into wild life with silvery song.

Tears chased down my cheeks, as I twirled around.

Dizzy, I spun to the robins’ song, part of the whirlwind. My magic coiled out in pink threads around Ghost Robin, entwining around him.

I'll never let go again.

When the Your Heart’s Desire Book burst into song as well, I stilled and glanced down at it. Magic vibrated through the cover. My hands shook.

When Ghost Robin had given me the book, he'd told me to open it, when I was alone. I'd been burned alive before I had the chance, which I believed was a reasonable excuse.

But wasn't now the perfect time?

I bit my lip. Sometimes, courage meant far more than facing dragon shifters, deadly missions, or even death.

Robin was my greatest regret but also my greatest love. I had to face the past that haunted me.

I flipped open the book.

I froze, and my breath hitched.

A miniature version of Robin stared out from the page. He wore his whipping boy uniform of black shirt and pants with a pink Rembroidered on the pocket. His muscled chest was tight against the thin material. His red hair tumbled over his eyes, and his emerald eyes watched me intently.

My heart clenched. I'd forgotten how bright his eyes were. How had I forgotten that? How had I forgotten anything about him?

My breath became ragged.

I shouldn't have forgotten.

Paper Robin shot me a cheeky grin. "I told you so. It turns out that mama and I were right about ghosts."

I smiled. "How long have you been waiting to say that? Was it satisfying?"

Paper Robin's eyes crinkled as he smiled, and my stomach flipped. I remembered when I'd lived for those smiles. "Wonderfully. Although, I was also right that ghosts eternally crave , and I've only craved you . You're my best friend, and I've loved for you so very long. To see you again is more than I ever hoped."

I swallowed, and tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. Because he wasn't seeing me, was he?

This Paper Robin was my Heart's Desire...but was he real?

Paper Robin's brow furrowed. "Hush, silly sweetheart." Ghost Robin settled on my shoulders, caressing. Please, let him truly be here with me once more. "I told you that a part of me would be in this book. We'll always be together."