Simon Green - The Spy Who Haunted Me

“The Land Beneath the Hill,” muttered Peter. “The Elven Lands. The Faerie Kingdoms. How many names does this place have, anyway?”

“As many as it needs,” said Walker. “In old magic, to know the true naming of a thing was to have power over it, so the Fae like to confuse things. It appeals to their . . . mercurial nature. They’re not fixed and certain, like us. They’re many things all at once. More than us, and less. Greater than us, but still childlike in many ways. The only human qualities they have are the ones they’ve copied from us, because it amuses them.”

He turned and looked at me. “Even if we can close this door, there are others. Other ways of accessing the Faerie Kingdoms. The Street of Gods in the Nightside. A doorway in Shadows Fall. A deep tunnel beneath a small town in the southwest of England. There are openings and soft places all over the world, fortunately forgotten or overlooked by most people.”

“But if this is an unknown, unsuspected entrance, we have to shut it down,” I said steadily. “Or persuade the Fae to close it from their side, at least long enough for us to set up the usual defences and observers.”

“I still don’t see what the Fae would want with a U.S. Navy ship anyway,” said Honey.

“We’ll just have to ask them,” I said. “When we get there. This is a mystery that needs solving; not just for us, but for the sake of all humanity. We can’t have the elves thinking they can just reach out and grab us whenever they feel like it. I think I shall have to speak quite sternly to them about that. Are you with me?”

“Not if you’re going to be rude to elves,” Honey said immediately. “They don’t like it. And I like my organs on the inside, where they belong.”

“I shall be polite and diplomatic at all times,” I said. “Right up to the point where I decide not to be and administer a good slapping. Don’t worry; I’ll give you plenty of warning, so you can duck. Walker?”

“We have to go,” said Walker. “Duty is a harsh mistress, but she never asks more of us than is necessary.”

“Always knew you were kinky, Walker,” said Honey. “Langley’s gone very quiet. I’ve brought them up to date and asked for instructions, and they’re passing the buck back and forth so fast they’re wearing it out. So let’s get going before someone tells me not to. No one takes a U.S. ship and its crew and gets away with it on my watch.”

We all looked at Peter, who shrugged. “You’re right. Grandfather isn’t going to cough up his precious prize for an incomplete story. I’m in.”

“Just how much do you know about elves, Eddie?” said Honey. “I know enough to be seriously worried about this.”

“Right,” said Peter. “The best way to win a fight with an elf is to run like fun before it even knows you’re there.”

We all looked at him.

“Thought you weren’t afraid of elves,” I said. “And just when did you come in contact with the Fae, in your time in industrial espionage?”

He shrugged angrily. “I get around. I hear things. Even in my business, Grandfather’s reputation follows me. Anything with even a trace of weird attached to it ends up on my plate. One of the reasons I’ve worked so hard to maintain a good distance between my world and his. All I ever wanted was a sane, sensible, normal life. It’s safer.

“I’ve heard about elves. But I don’t believe half of it.”

“Well, you’re about to get a crash course, the hard way,” said Honey. “Try not to cry.”

Peter sniffed loudly. “I think I liked it better when you were hitting me . . .”

“The Blue Fairy was a guest at the Fae Court just before he joined up with us,” I said. “According to him, there’d been some major upheavals there. He said Queen Mab is back, after centuries of exile, and sitting on the Ivory Throne. Which begs the question, what’s happened to Oberon and Titania? Has there been civil war in the Elven Lands? Who’s in, who’s out, who’s been horribly maimed and disfigured? Could make a big difference to how much we can reasonably hope to achieve. I mean, Oberon and Titania might have been flitty psychopaths with a really unpleasant sense of humour, but at least they were a known quantity. My family have been able to make deals with them in the past. Mab . . . is an unknown quantity.”

“Why was she exiled?” said Honey.

“No one knows,” said Walker. “The elves have never talked about it. I had heard Mab was back; we had an elf turn up in the Nightside, begging for sanctuary. Not that we could do much for him. Someone had turned the poor bastard inside out, all down one side . . . We killed him, eventually. As a kindness.”

“You really think we can get answers, maybe even concessions, out of the elves?” said Honey. “They never miss a chance to do us down! Pride’s all they’ve got left.”

“No,” Walker said immediately. “It’s . . . more complicated than that. Elves are always passing through the Nightside on some errand or other, and I’ve had my share of dealings with them. Can’t say I’ve ever got to know one; they’re just too different. They are honourable, in their way. It’s just not an even remotely human way. They admire courage, and boldness, and outright insanity. You really think you can make the elves do anything they don’t want to, Eddie?”

“Of course,” I said. “I’m a Drood.”

“This is all going to end in tears,” said Peter.

“Shut up, Peter,” said Honey.

“Queen Mab was still . . . away, in 1943,” I said. “So whatever happened to the Eldridge was due to Oberon and Titania. Maybe we can use that . . . The real question is, if the elves did take the ship, why did they let her go? The Eldridge looked like she’d been through a real fight, but even so, their weapons wouldn’t have been enough to hold off elves . . .”

“No,” said Honey, looking out over the water. “The real question is, is the soft spot still out there? Is the doorway still there? And if it is, can you open it, Eddie?”

“That’s three questions,” said Peter. “Ow! Damn it, Walker; that hurt!”

“Good,” said Walker. “It was meant to.”

“It’s like working with bloody kids,” I said, glaring about me. “Can we all please stick to the subject? All we need is a boat to get us out there, and I can do the rest. But I’m not taking any of you anywhere until I’m sure you’re taking this seriously. There is a really good chance the elves will kill us all on sight. They’ve been given good reason to respect the Droods, but they have very recent reasons to hate my guts.”

“Oh, wonderful,” said Peter. “This gets better all the time. What did you do, pee in their wishing well?”

“I killed a whole bunch of elven lords and ladies,” I said.

Honey and Walker looked at me sharply with what I liked to think was respect. Even Peter looked at me in a new way.

“I think I’ll get Langley to express-order us some Really Big Guns,” said Honey.

“Nice thought,” I said. “But they wouldn’t help.”

“Just how are you intending to force your way into the Sundered Lands?” said Walker. “I wasn’t sure such a thing was possible, even for the legendary Droods. Even if there is a soft spot . . .”

“Blue had a torc stolen from the Droods,” I said. “Though he never did learn how to operate it, or he’d still be alive. Anyway, after he died, I used a spell built into his elven breastplate to send him home. My armour remembers the spell, and I can use it to force open the soft spot.”

“I didn’t know your armour could do that,” said Walker.

“There’s lots of things it can do that people don’t know about,” I said airily.

But that wasn’t one of them. My armour is strange matter, not magic. Whole different thing. I had a different plan to get us through. When Blue stole his torc from us, he took it to the Fae Courts, and they put their mark upon it. When I absorbed Blue’s torc into my armour, those changes became a part of my strange matter too. Changes I could follow right back to their origin. I could break into the Elven Lands any time I chose.