Ilona Andrews: Dark and Stormy Knights

Saiman nodded.

Oh crap. “It’s that damn cat, isn’t it?”

“The oak produces an acorn once every seven years. Seven months, seven days, and seven hours after the acorn falls from the tree, it will crack and grow into the World Oak. In effect, the tree manifests at the location of the acorn for the period of seven minutes.”

I frowned. “Let me guess. You stole the acorn from the Russians and swallowed it.”

Saiman nodded.

“Why? Are you eager to hear a bedtime story?”

“The cat possesses infinite knowledge. Seven minutes is time enough to ask and hear an answer to one question. Only the owner of the acorn can ask the question.”

I shook my head. “Saiman, nothing is free. You have to pay for everything, knowledge included. What will it cost you to ask a question?”

“The price is irrelevant if I get an answer.” Saiman smiled.

I sighed. “Answer my question: Why do smart people tend to be stupid?”

“Because we think we know better. We think that our intellect affords us special privileges and lets us beat the odds. That’s why talented mathematicians try to defraud casinos and young brilliant mages make bargains with forces beyond their control.”

Well, he answered the question.

“When is the acorn due for its big kaboom?”

“In four hours and forty-seven minutes.”

“The volkhvi will tear this high-rise apart stone by stone to get it back, and I’m your last line of defense?”

“That’s an accurate assessment. I did ask for the best person available.”

I sighed. “Still want that sandwich?”

“Very much.”

I headed to the door.

“Kate?”

“Yes?”

“The endar?”

I turned to him. “Why were you chained?”

Saiman grimaced. “The acorn makes it difficult to control my magic. It forces me to continuously change shape. Most of the time I’m able to keep the changes subtle, but once in a while the acorn causes contortions. Gina Castor walked in on me during such a moment. I’m afraid I was convulsing, so my recollection may be somewhat murky, but I do believe I had at least one partially formed breast and three arms. She overreacted. Odd, considering her profile.”

“Her profile?”

“I studied my bodyguards very carefully,” Saiman said. “I handpicked three teams. The first refused to take the job, the second was out due to injuries. Castor and Rodriguez were my third choice.”

I went back to the bed and ducked under it. They’d chained him with a small padlock. Lock picking wasn’t my strong suit. I looked around and saw the small key on the dresser. It took me a good five minutes to unwrap him.

“Thank you.” He rose, rubbing his chest, marked by red pressure lines. “May I ask why?”

“Nobody should die chained to the bed.”

Saiman stretched. His body swelled, twisted, growing larger, gaining breadth and muscle. I made a valiant effort to not vomit.

Saiman’s body snapped. A large, perfectly sculpted male looked at me. Soft brown hair framed a masculine face. He would make any bodybuilder gym proud. Except for the bloated gut.

“Is he preferable to the previous attempt?” Saiman asked.

“There is more of you to guard now. Other than that, it makes no difference to me.”

I headed into the living room. He followed me, swiping a luxurious robe off a chair.

We stepped into the living room. Saiman stopped.

The corpses of endars had melted into puddles of green. Thin stalks of emerald green moss sprouted from the puddles, next to curly green shoots of ferns and tiny young herbs.

“The endars nourish the forest,” I told him.

He indicated the completely green carpet with his hand. “How many were there?”

“A few. I lost count.”

Saiman’s sharp eyes regarded my face. “You’re lying. You know the exact number.”

“Thirty-seven.”

I zeroed in on the fridge. No telling when the next attack would come, and I was starving. You can do without sleep or without food, but not without both and sleep wasn’t an option.

Saiman trailed me, taking the seat on the outer side of the counter. “Do you prefer women?”

“No.”

He frowned, belting the robe. “It’s the stomach, isn’t it?”

I raided the fridge. He had enough deli meat to feed an army. I spread it out on the bar’s counter. “What do you do for a living, Saimain?”

“I collect information and use it to further my interests.”

“It seems to pay well.” I nodded to indicate the apartment.

“It does. I also possess an exhaustive knowledge of various magic phenomena. I consult various parties. My fee varies between thirty-six hundred and thirty-nine hundred dollars, depending on the job and the client.”

“Thirty-six hundred dollars per job?” I bit into my sandwich. Mmm, salami.

“Per hour.”

I choked on my food. He looked at me with obvious amusement.

“The term ‘highway robbery’ comes to mind,” I managed finally.

“Oh, but I’m exceptionally good at what I do. Besides, the victims of highway robbery have no choice in the matter. I assure you, I don’t coerce my clients, Kate.”

“I’m sure. How did we even get to this point? The stratospheric fee ruined my train of thought.”

“You stated that you prefer men to women.”

I nodded. “Suppose you get a particularly sensitive piece of information. Let’s say a business tip. If you act on the tip, you could make some money. If you sell it, you could make more money. If both you and your buyer act on the tip, you both would make money, but the return for each of you would be significantly diminished. Your move?”

“Either sell the information or act on it. Not both.”

“Why?”

Saiman shrugged. “The value of the information increases with its exclusivity. A client buying such knowledge has an expectation of such exclusivity. It would be unethical to undermine it.”

“It would be unethical for me to respond to your sexual overtures. For the duration of the job, you’re a collection of arms and legs which I have to keep safe. I’m most effective if I’m not emotionally involved with you on any level. To be blunt, I’m doing my best to regard you as a precious piece of porcelain I have to keep out of harm’s way.”

“But you do find this shape sexually attractive?”

“I’m not going to answer this question. If you pester me, I will chain you back to the bed.”

Saiman raised his arm, flexing a spectacular biceps. “This shape has a lot of muscle mass.”

I nodded. “In a bench-pressing contest you would probably win. But we’re not bench pressing. You might be stronger, but I’m well trained. If you do want to try me, you’re welcome to it. Just as long as we agree that once your battered body is chained safely in your bed, I get to say, ‘I told you so.’ ”

Saiman arched his eyebrows. “Try it?”

“And stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop mimicking my gestures.”

He laughed. “You’re a most peculiar person, Kate. I find myself oddly fascinated. You have obvious skill.” He indicated the budding forest in his living room. “And knowledge to back it up. Why aren’t you among the Guild’s top performers?”

Because being in top anything means greater risk of discovery. I was hiding in plain sight and doing a fairly good job of it. But he didn’t need to know that. “I don’t spend much time in Atlanta. My territory is in the Lowcountry. Nothing much happens there, except for an occasional sea serpent eating shrimp out of the fishing nets.”

Saiman’s sharp eyes narrowed. “So why not move up to the city? Better jobs, better money, more recognition?”

“I like my house where it is.”