P.C. Cast - Awakened

Neferet did not raise her head as she spoke to the Goddess, and her thick fall of auburn hair completely covered her face, blanketing her expression.

“Tonight you asked for forgiveness. Zoey gave one answer. I shall give you another. Forgiveness is a very special gift, and it must be earned.”

“I ask humbly that you share that special gift with me, Nyx,” Neferet said, still bowing her head and hiding her face.

“When you earn the gift, you will receive it.” Abruptly, the Goddess turned from Neferet, her attention turning to the Sword Master, who closed his fist over his heart respectfully to her. “Your Anastasia is free of pain and remorse. Will you make Damien’s choice, and learn to rejoice in the love you had and move on, or will your choice destroy that which she loved so much about you—your ability to be both strong and merciful?” Rephaim was watching Dragon, waiting for a response from the Sword Master that did not come, when Nyx spoke his name.

“Rephaim.”

He looked Nyx full in the face for only an instant, and then Rephaim remembered what he was and he bowed his head in shame and spoke the first words that flooded his mind. “Please don’t look at me!”

He felt Stevie Rae’s hand slide into his. “Don’t worry. She’s not here to punish you.”

“And how do you know that, young High Priestess?”

Stevie Rae’s grip tightened spasmodically on his hand, but her voice didn’t falter. “ ’Cause you can see into his heart, and I know what you’ll find there.”

“What do you believe is in the Raven Mocker’s heart, Stevie Rae?”

“Goodness. And I don’t think he’s a Raven Mocker anymore. His daddy released him. So now I think he’s a-a new kinda, uh, boy-who’s-never-been-before.” She tripped over the words, but managed to finish.

“I see you are bound to him,” was the Goddess’s enigmatic response.

“I am,” she said firmly.

“Even if your bond means splitting this House of Night, and perhaps, this world, in two?”

“My mama used to prune her roses real fierce, and I thought she was gonna hurt them, maybe kill them. When I asked her about it she told me sometimes you have to cut away the old stuff to make room for the new. Maybe it’s time to cut away some old stuff,” Stevie Rae said.

Her words surprised him so much that Rephaim turned his eyes from the ground to Stevie Rae. She smiled at him and at that moment, he wished more than anything else, he could smile back at her and take her in his arms like a real boy would be able to do, because what he saw in her eyes was warmth and love and happiness with not even the slightest glimpse of remorse or rejection.

Stevie Rae gave him the strength to look up at the Goddess and meet her infinite gaze.

And what he saw there was familiar because mirrored in Nyx’s eyes was the same warmth and love and happiness he’d seen within Stevie Rae’s gaze.

Rephaim dropped Stevie Rae’s hand so that he could close his fist over his heart, in the ancient, respectful greeting. “Merry meet, Goddess Nyx.”

“Merry meet, Rephaim,” she said. “You are the only child of Kalona’s to turn from the rage and pain of your conception, and the hatred that has filled your long life, and seek Light.”

“None of the others had Stevie Rae,” he said.

“It is true that she influenced your choice, but you had to be open to her and respond with Light instead of Darkness.”

“That hasn’t always been my choice. In the past I’ve done terrible things. These Warriors are right to want me dead,” Rephaim said.

“Do you regret your past?”

“I do.”

“Do you choose a new future where you pledge yourself to my path?”

“I do.”

“Rephaim, son of the fallen immortal Warrior Kalona, I accept you into my service, and I forgive you for the mistakes of your past.”

“Thank you, Nyx.” Rephaim’s voice was rough with emotion as he spoke to the Goddess, his Goddess.

“Will you thank me when I tell you that though I forgive you and accept you, there are consequences you must pay for the choices of your past?”

“No matter what comes next, for an eternity I will thank you. This I swear,” he said with no hesitation.

“Let us hope that you will have many, many years to live up to your oath. Know then that this is your consequence.” Nyx raised her arms as if she could cup the moon in the palms of her hands. It seemed to Rephaim she was gathering light from the stars themselves. “Because you have awakened the humanity within you, I will, each night from setting sun to rising sun, gift you with this: the true form you deserve.” The Goddess hurled the glowing power that had coalesced between her hands at him. It shuddered through his body, causing a pain so terrible that he screamed in agony and crumpled to the ground. As he lay there, paralyzed, the Goddess’s voice was the only sound that broke through to him. “To atone for your past, by day you will lose your true form and return to that of the raven, who knows nothing except the base desires of a beast. Consider well how you use your humanity. Learn from the past and balance the beast. So I have spoken—so mote it be!”

The pain was beginning to recede and Rephaim was able to look up at the Goddess again as she opened her arms to take in everyone and said joyously, “I leave the rest of you with my love, if you so choose to accept it, and my desire that you will always blessed be.”

Nyx disappeared in what looked like an explosion of the moon. The brightness of it was blinding, which didn’t help Rephaim’s lingering confusion. His body felt strange, unfamiliar, dizzy … Rephaim looked down at himself. His shock was so intense he could not, for a moment, comprehend what he saw. Why am I inside a boy? passed through his jumbled mind. It was Stevie Rae’s sobs that finally got through to him. He was able to focus on her and when he did, Rephaim realized she was crying and laughing at the same time.

“What has happened?” he asked, still not fully understanding.

Stevie Rae didn’t seem to be able to speak because she just kept crying what looked like happy tears.

A hand came into his line of vision and he looked up to see the fledgling High Priestess, Zoey Redbird, smiling wryly at him. Rephaim took her offered hand and stood a little shakily.

“What’s happened is our Goddess has zapped you into being a guy,” Zoey said.

The truth hit him then and it almost drove him to his knees again. “I’m human. Completely human.” Rephaim stared down at the strong, tall body of a young Cherokee warrior.

“Yeah, you are, but only during the nighttime,” Zoey was saying. “During the day you’re gonna be completely a raven.”

Rephaim barely heard her. He was already turning to Stevie Rae.

He must have been knocked away from her when Nyx changed him, because she was no longer by his side. She took one small, hesitant step toward him and then stopped, looking unsure and wiping her face.

“Is it—is it bad? Do I look wrong?” he blurted.

“No,” she said, staring into his eyes. “You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect. You’re the boy we saw in the fountain.”

“Will you … can I…” His voice trailed off. Rephaim was too filled with emotion to find the right words, so he moved instead, closing the space between Stevie Rae and him in two long, strong, totally human strides. With no hesitation he took her in his arms, and then he did what he had barely even allowed himself to do in his dreams. Rephaim bent and kissed Stevie Rae’s soft lips with his own. He tasted her tears and her laughter, and finally he knew what it was to be truly, completely happy.