Sandy Williams - The Shadow Reader

I intend to down it without stopping for a breath, but I only manage two swallows before I gag. I swipe the back of my hand across my watering eyes. I’d rather chew on bitterbark for a week than take another sip.

“How’s the plan coming?” I ask, a diversion designed to keep Aren from insisting I drink more. I’ll finish the glass. Eventually.

Kyol’s eyes meet mine, linger. When he glances at the cabus , I realize I must look awful—pale, probably—and I have the distinct feeling he wants to walk around the table and take me in his arms.

He doesn’t, of course. His face expressionless, he turns to Aren and asks, “How many humans do you have working with you?”

“Five,” he answers, matching Kyol’s neutral tone. “Trev will bring back our other three. They’re not shadow-readers, just humans with the Sight. We’ll split them between the Sidhe Tol . The fae who attack in Montana will have to do with just one.”

“You have six humans,” I say, ignoring the tension between the two fae. I frown at the map in the center of the table. The Court will probably have three or four humans at each location. We’ll still be at a disadvantage. “You can send me to Montana.”

“We’ll make do with who we have,” Aren says.

“You need me—more than me, actually.”

“No.” His tone makes it sound as if everything is settled.

My knee-jerk reaction is to snap that he doesn’t control me, but I manage to choke back the words. He’s just trying to protect me. I get that.

“What if Radath or some of the king’s other officers show up? You’ll need shadow-readers at each Sidhe Tol to track them.”

He pulls a map of Montana closer.

I turn to Kyol. “Tell him he needs me.”

“You’re in no shape for this, McKenzie.” He says it so simply, so evenly, so goddamn gently.

“So both of you would rather be distracted by illusions? You want the rest of the rebels to be distracted by them? That’s bullshit. Fewer fae will die if I’m there.”

“I won’t let Naito go if she doesn’t,” Kelia says.

Naito cocks an eyebrow at her.

She shrugs. “I won’t. If they’re going to make McKenzie stay home because they’re worried about her getting hurt, then I’ll make you stay home, too.”

Naito just shakes his head with a smile, pulls her to him, and gives her a loving kiss on the forehead. “I’ll still go, but we need the nalkin-shom . If Radath or the king’s other officers are there, McKenzie can identify them. She can track them if they try to escape, and we do need the extra pair of eyes.”

Kyol’s fists clench on top of the table. It’s a small sign of his anger, but from a man who’s an expert at concealing his emotions, it’s as significant as a bomb exploding.

“I’ll be fine, Kyol.”

He shakes his head. “Radath will order his men to target you.”

“They . . .” Oh. That’s what this is about. Radath knows how Kyol feels about me. He knows he can use me to get to the sword-master. I can’t let that stop me from helping, though, so I scan the others at the table, trying to find some support or inspiration. My gaze rests on Naito, the only person here besides me who doesn’t have edarratae flashing across his skin. “They won’t know who I am.”

Kyol draws in a breath. “You’re very noticeable, kaesha .”

An ache twinges through my heart. I push the pain aside, focus on our problem. “If we all wear camouflage, they won’t be able to tell us apart.”

Aren makes a noise that’s half harrumph, half laugh. Before I can stop him, he kisses my cheek. A chaos luster bolts from his lips to my skin, sending a shock of tingling heat down my neck.

“You’re brilliant,” he says. He leans forward to see past me to Naito. “The vigilantes will be wearing it, right? Can we get enough uniforms in a day?”

Naito gives me an appreciative smile. Not only will the camo allow me to blend in; if Aren and the rest of the rebels wear it, it’ll make it more difficult for the humans to tell them apart from the rest of the vigilantes. Sure, they’ll eventually notice the rebels’ swords and edarratae , but with the camo, it might take the humans two or three seconds longer than if they went in wearing only their jaedric armor. Two or three seconds is enough time for the rebels to fissure out of the way.

“It shouldn’t be too difficult,” Naito says. “I can look up the locations of a few army surplus stores.”

“We need a fourth front,” Lena says suddenly, looking up from a map. There’s no preamble to her announcement. It’s the first time she’s spoken since I sat down. “We need to attack the palace itself.”

“We don’t have enough fae for that.” Aren rests his hand on my thigh.

I catch my breath. My jeans protect me from his edarratae , but the natural warmth of his hand seeps into me. He’s leaning on his opposite elbow, which rests on the table. I don’t think anyone else notices we’re touching.

“We won’t need many,” Lena says. “Just enough to force Atroth to keep guards on the wall. Taltrayn can suggest places to attack.”

Is Aren staking a claim or something? Letting me know I’m his? That he’s going to keep his promise not to let Kyol have me back?

“There are weaknesses to exploit,” Kyol admits. “But the guards will be on alert.”

I like kissing Aren. I like his teasing smile, his haphazard appearance, his loyalty to Lena and the rebellion, but do I like him ? I barely know him.

“It will be worth the risk,” Lena says. “Once we fissure inside the silver walls, we’ll have men attack the guards from behind.”

Aren rubs his thumb along my outer thigh. It’s distracting, and now is not the best time to sort out my feelings, not with Kyol sitting across from us, not with a battle looming on the horizon.

Aren’s thumb stops its caress. “Strategic assassinations might work. We need to control the entrances to the inner city. Taltrayn?”

“I can list sentries to neutralize.” There’s no emotion in Kyol’s voice. He stares at the center of the table and doesn’t look up. I want to crawl into his arms, tell him he’s doing the right thing, and that everything’s going to be okay, but I can’t. I can’t do any of that.

“Good,” Lena says as she rises. Realizing she’ll definitely notice where Aren’s hand is if she’s standing, I beat her to my feet.

Naito straightens out of his chair, too. “I’ll look up those surplus stores.”

“I’ll help,” Kelia pipes up.

“I’m not going to let you touch the laptop, baby.”

She tilts her head to the side. “I’ll have to find other ways to occupy myself, then.”

Naito grins and takes her hand.

Kyol’s gaze follows them when they leave the table. He has to know they’re a couple. He has to see they’re happy together, good together. If Kyol was a weaker man, if he’d given in to his desires, we could have been like that, too.

Aren and Kyol both rise when Lena steps into the living room to talk to Nalst. When Aren turns toward me, I grab the glass of cabus and use it as a shield between us. There’s a faint smile on his lips. It doesn’t last long, though. It disappears as soon as Kyol steps to my side.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, ignoring Aren. He’s still trying to take care of me, to give me a way out of this war.

My hands tighten around my glass. “I have to do this.”

I’m worried he’s going to argue that point. I take a sip of cabus . I don’t know why. To buy some time? To show my determination? Whatever my motivation, I regret it immediately. Trying not to make too much of a face, I gulp the liquid down, then set the glass aside.