Ilona Andrews - Fate's Edge

“I want you, Audrey. I want you so badly, you are my first thought in the morning and my last at night.”

Oh, he is smooth.

Kaldar moved around her, maintaining the distance, stalking. He moved like a sword fighter: strong, sure, but graceful. Funny how she had never noticed it before.

“You kiss me like you want me, too. You thought about it. You pictured us together, making love.”

She smiled at him. Kaldar, you slick bandit, you.

“We’re both adults, we want each other, and there is nothing stopping us. Why aren’t we together?”

Audrey kept her smile firmly in place.

Kaldar paused. He was looking at her, at once loving, admiring, possessive, and yearning. She’d been hit with a few come-hither stares in her time, but this one left them all in the dust.

“Do you think I’d hurt you, Audrey? Are you afraid it won’t be good, and you won’t like it, because I promise you, you will.”

Kaldar, a man of low self-esteem, unassuming and humble.

“Help me out,” he said.

“I don’t think we should talk about this. I think you should go back to your room.”

“Why?”

“Because it will make things between us tense and difficult.”

“Things between us are already tense and difficult.” Kaldar planted himself between the bed and the door. “I’m not leaving.”

“You really want an answer?” Nothing good would come of it.

“Yes,” Kaldar said. “I do.”

“Okay. When I was little, my grandmother gave me this advice. She said, ‘Audrey, if you meet a man who is smooth, who says all the right things and knows all the tricks to make a woman happy, you’ve got to ask yourself how he got that way.’”

“I don’t understand,” Kaldar said.

“How old are you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Audrey put her hands on her hips. “You wanted this conversation, silver-tongue.”

“Thirty-two.”

“You have nine years on me, Kaldar. I bet most of your friends are married. They’re probably family men. Some of them have kids, others are thinking about it. Many probably bought their first houses a few years back. Why aren’t you married, Kaldar?”

He gave her an odd one-shouldered shrug. “Maybe I was waiting for the right girl.”

“Please.” For some reason, she felt like crying, which was completely stupid. “With your looks and your skills, I bet you’ve met plenty of girls. The right girl came and went, Kaldar. Probably more than once.”

“I’m confused. So you want us to be married, is that it?”

She actually had to fight the tears back. It took all of her skill to keep her expression pleasant. At least she hoped it was. “Don’t be silly. I can’t marry you. I don’t even know you. You change faces the way most people wear socks, every day a new pair. A charming rogue, an arrogant businessman, a caring uncle, a slick thief . . . You pull them off and on at will. I don’t even know if I’ve glimpsed the real you in this masquerade. Ask me what the real Kaldar is like. What does he want, what does he need, what sort of man is he, and I can’t tell you. Do you even know which one of these roles is the real you?”

He remained silent.

“Before I take a man into my bed, I need to know him. I want to trust him and like him. You are the sexiest man I’ve ever met. Without a doubt. The best pickpocket. The best swordsman. And you’re a genius conman. You’d run circles around the best grifters I know. My father would have no chance. You’d get him to sign over his house for a snowball in January.”

“So that’s it,” he said quietly. “You think I’m conning you, Audrey?”

“No. I know you are conning me.” Audrey shrugged. “Kaldar, you stole my cross. You treated me like a mark. You have no respect for me.”

“I stole it because I am obsessed with you.” Emotion vibrated in his voice. “I wanted something of yours because that was all I could get.”

“I’m sure.” Audrey sighed. “You’re not the first grifter who tried to charm my panties off. I’ve seen all the tricks, I’ve heard all of the sweet words. I grew up with a father who was really good at manipulating women. I’ve seen my dad’s friends ‘handle’ their wives. It’s not that we wouldn’t have fun, Kaldar. We would. And before today, I probably would have taken you up on your offer. But we almost died today. It made me realize that I deserve some happiness. And now I don’t want just fun.”

“What do you want, then?”

“I want honesty and loyalty, and I want to give loyalty and love in return. For once in my life, I want to be able to trust someone without having to double-check, and keep an eye on him, and worry if he’s lying to me. I still want to have fun, but I want to be loved, Kaldar. Really loved. Life is too short, and I want to experience that before I die. I don’t think that’s the kind of fun you had in mind when you walked in here. And there is nothing wrong with that. We just want different things, and if we get together, it will be a disaster.”

“You’re a mind reader now?”

He actually sounded angry. He is angry. Really? Fine. I can be angry, too.

“Sure. I’ll read your mind. It’s not that difficult. All of your thoughts about me and all of your fantasies end with you between my legs and me crying out and having the best orgasm of my life, then telling you about it. You’ve never thought past that point, but if you had, in your head the next morning we would get up like nothing had ever happened. It wouldn’t be awkward. Nothing would’ve changed. We’d go on with our scheme, have a lot of great sex, and if we somehow survived, when it came time to part, you’d give me a pat on the ass, and I would stand there, sad and watching you as you fly away on your wyvern to greater adventures and other women. Out of sight, out of mind. If you ever happened to be in this part of the country, you’d look me up for a quickie because you’d know that your superloving has forever spoiled me, and no other man would ever be good enough to replace you. And twenty years from now, you would still be in the exact same place you are now, having the time of your life, grifting for the glory of Adrianglia and for your vengeance, while I waited patiently for a chance to see you. No, thank you.”

Kaldar stared at her. He had no expression on his face.

She leaned forward, rocking on her toes to stand a little closer to his face. “You will break my heart, Kaldar. We both know it. And now, since we have everything out in the open, how about we forget we had this conversation? You go back to your room, and tomorrow, we’ll flirt and laugh and act like nothing happened.”

He just stood there.

“Fine. You want it the other way, we can do that, too. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that’s not what you’ve imagined, and, for once in your life, don’t lie.”

Kaldar leaned forward, his eyes dark. “I imagined that you might want to have a little bit of fun before you went back to wasting your life. You have the brains, the talent, and the looks, and you use all that to take dirty pictures of adulterers and flirt with insurance cheats. Is that really it, Audrey? Is that who you aspire to be?”

She recoiled.

“You’re right,” Kaldar said. “When it’s over, I will fly off on a wyvern, and you will go back to your dull existence, suppressing everything that makes you you. I may not be married or trustworthy, but what I do matters, and I’m good at it.”

“What I do matters, too!”

“To whom? Anyone can do your job, Audrey. Of course, you are the best at it. You have so much talent and experience, you have no competition. You’re playing with marked cards at a table full of blind players. Is that it? Are you afraid of competition? Afraid to try to see how good you really are? Because I’ve never seen better.”