Rachel Vincent - Before I Wake

I stared up at him. “How is it possible that every time you open your mouth, I—” fall more in love with you “—melt a little more? Seriously. There’s nothing in here but mush.” I waved one hand over my own torso.

“You don’t feel very mushy to me.” His hands slid over my waist and up my sides slowly, his fingers whispering against the material of my shirt. “In fact, you feel really good.”

“You, too.” I tried to say more, then realized I couldn’t speak because I didn’t have enough air in my lungs. Because I’d stopped breathing. I inhaled, and suddenly I sounded breathless. Which was exactly how I felt. “How long until you have to go…reap?” I whispered as my arms slid around his neck. Like we were dancing. Only we weren’t moving, and there was no music.

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Won’t you get in trouble if you miss something?”

Tod leaned down until his lips brushed the corner of my mouth. “See my previous answer.”

“Mmm…” I said as he walked me backward slowly, arms around me so I couldn’t stumble. “But it’s not a very good time to get on Levi’s bad side.”

Tod groaned. “Damn your logic and forethought.” He pulled away from me long enough to glance at the time on his phone, and his frown deepened. “I have a dislodged blood clot in eight minutes. Be right back.”

“You’re going to go kill someone, then come back and kiss me? Is that what forever’s going to be like? Making out between corpses?”

“Is that too weird?” He looked worried. Like I might actually say yes. A month earlier, I would have, but now…

“I don’t know. It probably should be, but honestly, right now, I just want to be with you, even if that means waiting through the occasional reaping.” My frown mirrored his. “How morbid is our relationship?”

“Haven’t you seen Corpse Bride? We’re practically average.” Tod grinned, then took a step back. “Nine minutes. I swear.”

I nodded, and he disappeared.

I spent the first three seconds after Tod left staring at the space where he’d been. Then I realized I needed to use the restroom, a relative rarity, now that most of the time, I only remembered to drink water when my throat got dry and my voice started to crack.

Afterward, as I washed my hands, I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to see what it was that made Tod’s irises swirl when he looked at me, and twist feverishly when he touched me. Whatever it was, I couldn’t see it. Except for the scar on my stomach, I looked exactly the same as I had before I died. The same as I would for all of eternity.

That thought was still too big for me to hold in my head all at once, but occasionally I got a fleeting understanding of eternity—it was like glimpsing a silhouette in your peripheral vision, but being unable to pull the form into focus. Those moments came when I was alone. When everyone else was sleeping. When it was hardest for me to remember why I’d wanted this afterlife in the first place.

I shook those thoughts off as I dried my hands, then froze with a thick brown paper towel clenched in one fist when someone knocked on the bathroom door. I threw away the tissue and opened the door, already smiling at Tod. But it wasn’t Tod who looked back at me from inches away.

It was Thane, one hand propped on the doorframe like he was both lounging and blocking my exit, still wearing the same clothes and sunglasses he’d had on behind the doughnut shop. Only this time he didn’t look scared of me.

Thane’s brows rose as he studied the surprise surely written on my face. “What, you didn’t think you were rid of me, did you?”

“Yeah. Kinda.” Which was why I’d decided to ask Luca to find him. And why I couldn’t just blink out of the room, which seemed like the smart thing to do. Fortunately, Tod would be back any minute.

Being that close to the reaper who’d killed my mother completely creeped me out, but I couldn’t back away from him without looking scared. As a reaper, he could theoretically take my soul and end my afterlife. But the reverse was also true, which made this whole encounter feel a bit like a deadly game of chicken—we were waiting to see who would swerve first.

“What are you doing here?” I said.

“The real question is what are you doing here?” Thane glanced over my shoulder at the costume hanging on the shower rod. “Is this trick-or-treat, or show-and-tell?”

“It’s none of your business. What do you want?” I could see myself reflected in the lenses of his sunglasses, and that unnerved me. I could see my own eyes, but I couldn’t see his.

“I want the soul you stole from me.”

“It wasn’t yours.”

“It wasn’t yours, either,” Thane said, still blocking the doorway, and I nodded. Then I realized I wasn’t stuck in the bathroom. I blinked out, then reappeared in the hospital room behind him, wondering how long it would take for my new afterlife abilities to become second nature.

“Which is why I didn’t keep it,” I said, and Thane spun to face me, brows furrowed over the rims of those stupid sunglasses. “I turned it in.”

“Then I’ll take yours instead.” He stalked closer and I backed away, the game of chicken forgotten. “And if you don’t give it up, I’ll take the rest of you, too. The boss will be so pleased.” He reached for me and I struck out. He threw an arm up to block my blow, and my ineffectual fist ricocheted off his wrist to graze his temple. His sunglasses fell off and clattered to the floor.

I had a second to stare in shock at solid white orbs where his eyes should have been before he lunged for me. I backpedaled, suddenly terrified to realize that if he was touching me when I blinked out, he’d go with me.

“If I haul you into the Netherworld, your boyfriend will come after you, right?”

Thane reached for me again and missed my arm, but when I took another step back, I bumped into the bed and had nowhere else to go. He grabbed a handful of my shirt, and when I tried to roll away, I felt several little pops as most of the buttons tore free. But he didn’t let go, so I kept moving, and the underarm seams of my shirt dug into my flesh. He reached for my arm with his empty hand and I shoved him away with a grunt of effort. More threads popped, and suddenly I was wearing half a shirt.

I backpedaled again, scanning the room for a weapon, and briefly I wondered how long it would be before our noise alerted the nurse on duty.

Then Tod appeared just behind Thane and to his left. His eyes widened, but it took him less than a second to process the scene, and he swung at the side of Thane’s head before the rogue reaper even realized he was there. Thane stumbled and started to turn, and Tod swung again. His fist crashed into the other reaper’s temple.

Thane crumpled to the floor, and Tod kicked him in the head for good measure.

“You okay?” he said, and I nodded, staring at Thane’s unmoving form. Tod stepped around him and lifted a loose flap of material from my torn shirt. “What the hell happened? Why didn’t you just blink out?”

“Because we need to deal with him. How can I ask Luca to find him, when I just let him go?”

Tod’s irises swirled unevenly in confusion, and it took me a second to realize that meant he didn’t know whether to be angry or relieved. “Swear you’ll never do that again. Swear to me that next time you’ll run.”

“No! You broke the rules for me, and I’m not going to let you go down for that just because I’m too scared to face the guy whose existence threatens yours. Besides, I’ll be confronting bigger and badder things than Thane soon. I need to learn how to handle myself, not run.”

“You need to survive. Your friends and family need you to survive. I need you to survive.”