Chris Holm - The Wrong Goodbye

Problem was, my dowsing rod was gone.

By the time I hit the edge of town, the sun hung high overhead, baking cracks into the earth and obliterating all trace of the numbing chill of desert night. I’d stripped my filthy, tattered suit coat off during the ride, letting it flutter away on the breeze to be claimed by the desert. Once a somber, tasteful black, it’d ended up as dun-colored as the arid wasteland in which I left it —as dun-colored as the once-red Cadillac I drove. I chucked my one remaining shoe as well, this dead man’s dress socks stuffed inside. Even barefoot and in rolled-up shirtsleeves, I was sweating, and I could feel my face and neck begin to burn under a sun that shone as hard and bright as a lamp without a shade.

The Caddy creaked as though arthritic when I braked to a halt in front of the squat, its brakes and shocks no doubt as full of grit as my eyes and clothes, as the lines and creases of my skin. The paved drive way was soft and hot beneath my feet, scorching my soles as I stepped out of the car and setting me highstepping toward the door.

Inside, the squat was still and dark, and stuffy as well —the air heavy and ill-smelling from the breath and sweat of people too long confined. “Gio?” I tried to call, but my voice came out a dry croak. “Hello?”

My feet made little sound as I padded through the skeletal interior of the half-finished house. I strained to hear any signs of life, but there were none. The Gio I knew was not a slight or nimble man; surely, if he were here, I’d hear him. And what of Roscoe? That old coot couldn’t go ten seconds without shouting his fool head off.

No. They were gone. They had to be. Hell, I’d told Gio to do exactly that before I’d left. Of course, I hadn’t realized by doing so I’d be consigning myself to an eternity of Nothingness. Without Gio, I had no way to locate Danny. Without Gio, I was toast.

I strolled the house less cautiously now that I’d convinced myself there was nothing there to find. I remained convinced of that right up until a bloodcurdling scream pierced the air —so loud and so close, if I’d been wearing socks, I would’ve jumped clean out of them.

I turned and caught a glimpse of denim-clad fury. Then a wide, rectangular something swung downward toward me, blotting out my field of vision. I threw my hands up to block the coming assault, but I was too late. The rectangular something connected with my face in a squish of poky bristles and a plume of stale, woody house dust.

I sneezed —which maybe, on reflection, doesn’t do justice to the ferocity or effectiveness of the fwacking I’d received. I mean to say I sneezed a lot .

“Sam?” drawled my attacker, his thick Texas accent somehow finding a second syllable I never knew Sam had. “Sam, is that you?”

Next thing I knew, I was the unwitting recipient of one hell of a bear-hug, the old man levering me off the floor with his prodigious gut and squeezing so hard I couldn’t find the breath to sneeze.

When I’d last seen Roscoe, he’d been tied to the toilet, pleading for his life. Guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

“Jesus, Sam, it’s good to see you!” he said, once he finally released me from his grasp.

“Thanks,” I said, brushing myself off and trying to get the tickling in my nose under control. “What the hell’d you hit me with?”

“Push broom,” he said.

“And you were gonna what —sweep me to death with it?”

He scowled at me, faux anger hiding embarrassment. “By the look a you, you could maybe use a decent brooming. And besides, it was all I could find by way a weapons in this place. A man gets mighty paranoid, holed up too long alone.”

“Alone? Roscoe, where’s Gio?”

“Left late yesterday, and don’t you go blamin’ him for it, neither. The both of us done thought you were a goner, an’ yet that boy stayed anyways, for as long as he could stand.”

“If you both thought I was dead, what’re you still doing here? I told Gio if I didn’t come back, he was supposed to let you go.”

Roscoe did a little soft-shoe, showing off his unbound limbs. “You see anythin’ keeping me here? I stayed because I wanted to. Was the only way I could get that boy to go. He said someone oughta be here in case you came back.”

“No offense, Roscoe, but why ? I mean, I appreciate your sticking around and all, but we kidnapped you. We tied you up. Why on earth would you decide to help us out?”

“Figured I owed you,” he said.

“How’s that?”

“Now, Sam, I ain’t the most religious man, but I do believe the good Lord sent you two boys to rattle my cage a bit, shake me off the path I was on. I made some decisions I ain’t proud of lately —decisions that wound up with me passing out piss-drunk in a strip club parking lot. And even then, I didn’t see I’d hit rock bottom. But then you two jokers come along, and of all the cars in the world you coulda jacked, you wound up taking mine. You and Gio, you showed me ain’t no good can come of the life that I was leadin’, and aside a sticking me in the trunk a while, you boys treated me just fine. Least I can do to show my thanks is help you two find your own way.”

“That’s sweet and all, but I’ve gotta tell you, me and Gio are no messengers from God. We took your car because it was pretty and it was there to take —and believe me when I tell you, we had no idea you were passed out in back. And unfortunately, as far as finding my own way, there’s nobody who can help with that but Gio, and he’s long gone.”

Roscoe shook his head and smiled. “Just ’cause you don’t know the good Lord sent you don’t mean it ain’t so. And as for finding Gio,” he said, nudging me with his elbow like we were co-conspirators, “maybe I can help with that. ’Fore he left, he gave me a message to give to you.”

“Yeah?”

He screwed up his face, like he was trying to get it right. “’Though she is blind, she has the sight. Her visions, they are always right. Into the future, she will peek, and put you on the path you seek.’”

I blinked at him a moment. Wondered was this some kind of joke. But if it was, he wasn’t letting on. “Roscoe, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

“How the hell should I know? You two are the spooky Reaper types. Thought maybe it was like some kinda magic words or somethin’ —’specially after he made me say it back so many times, till he was sure I had it right. Figured it’d mean something to you. Foolish a me, I guess. Sounds more like some bullshit psychic-hotline jingle than anything else.”

Well, I’ll be damned, I thought. That’s exactly what it sounded like.

“Roscoe, you’re a genius!”

He laughed. “Ain’t nobody accused me a that one before. You sayin’ you know where you can find him?”

“No, but I’ve got an idea. I’m afraid I’m gonna need a favor, though.”

“The car?” he asked. I nodded. “Take her,” he said. “Me and Bertha, we had a good run, but there’s only one woman in this world for me, and that’s my Jolene.”

“The same Jolene you called a thieving devilwoman not two days back?”

“Hey, ain’t none of us’re perfect, Sam. And the fact is, you can’t help who you’re meant to be with —or, for that matter, who you’re meant to be.”

Truer words were never spoken.

“You want a lift somewhere, at least?”

Roscoe squinted at me and cocked his head. “Look at this Grim Reapin’ sumbitch, up against some kinda scary deadline, God knows what-all nipping at his heels, and he’s still got manners enough to offer me a ride. You know what, Sam? You’re all right. And speakin’ of, I’ll be all right too —don’t you worry none for me. Now, git.”