Carrie Vaughn - Kitty Rocks the House

“We’ll obviously never be able to come to some kind of consensus,” McAdams pronounced decisively. Nay, happily even.

“Right then. Thank you both for speaking with me this evening. I’m going to wrest control of my own show back and open the line for a couple of questions. Hello, Arthur from Spokane.”

“Hi, yes, I just wanted to say that you really can’t be so cavalier in dismissing the argument that the front man purportedly known as William Shakespeare did not write those plays. The actor Edward Alleyn may not have even been aware of the cover-up, as many contemporaries were not—that’s why it’s called a cover-up—”

God, I really needed to check the monitor more closely. “I’m sorry, that’s a little off topic tonight. Can you tell me if you think Edward Alleyn is really a vampire?”

“Well, of course he is, if he says he is.”

And yet Shakespeare couldn’t have written Shakespeare. I stared at the microphone. “Seriously? You’re going to stick with that?”

He sounded offended. “Well, yes, and if I could get back to the question of Shakespeare—”

“No, you can’t. Next caller, please, and let’s stay on topic. Hello?”

“Oh, Kitty, hi! I just have a quick question—do you think maybe that Shakespeare is a vampire?”

I had to think about that a minute. No, I needed to think about that for several minutes. But I didn’t have a few minutes. I had the threat of dead air and a sudden wish that I had done this week’s show on the possibility of psychic houseplants. “No, I don’t. And I think it’s about time to break for station ID and go have a drink. Or three…”

I’D DONE worse shows. I’d done better.

Shaun had a beer waiting for me at New Moon as soon as I walked in, and that was only one of the many reasons we kept him around. This late, right before closing, only a few stragglers remained. Lingering parties, successful dates. Darren was sitting at a table for two—with Becky. At the moment her smile sparkled brighter than I’d ever seen it. Oh dear …

“How long have they been at it?” I said to Shaun, nodding at them.

“Couple of hours. She’d been here for half an hour or so, stopping by after work, and he showed up. They’ve been together ever since.”

“So—what do you think?”

“He hurts her I’ll rip his face off,” he said. I was thinking the same thing. But for the moment she seemed so gosh darned happy, I could hardly judge. But it seemed … odd. Darren was certainly making himself at home.

I sidled over to their table. Just checking, I told myself. Politely interested, not intruding. “Hi, guys. Sorry to bother you, but could I have a word with Darren, just for a sec?” My smile was so big it hurt.

Becky actually glowered at me, offended. I didn’t glare back and made what I hoped was a comforting shrug. For his part, Darren only seemed confused as he followed me back to the bar.

“What do you need?” he said as he hopped up on the stool next to me and leaned in close—closer than I was comfortable with. But I couldn’t flinch back, not a millimeter. I couldn’t figure this guy out. Maybe he was a were–golden retriever? We’d find out soon enough.

“Full moon’s tomorrow night, I just wanted to go over a few things. We have territory in the mountains—”

He waved a hand as if to say, no problem. “Becky told me all about it.”

“We usually carpool. You can ride up with Ben and me if you want—”

“You don’t have to go through the trouble, I’ll be okay.”

But he didn’t even know where we were going. The dirt roads we followed were Forest Service roads, not marked on the usual maps. How was he going to get there without a guide? Oh—he was riding with Becky.

I soldiered on. “We hunt together, as a pack. We keep an eye on each other. Livestock and roads are off-limits.” I assumed I didn’t have to tell him that people were off-limits as well. Maybe I shouldn’t make that assumption …

He just kept smiling. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

I sighed and shook my head, as if I could shake away my misgivings. “I just want everything to go smoothly. Full moon nights are always touchy.”

“Everything’ll be fine.”

“Get there at twilight. We run as a pack.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I scowled. Now he was just being patronizing. “Oh, and if you hurt Becky we’ll all rip your face off.”

He blanched, just a bit, but covered it up with his winning smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not crazy.”

Becky watched him as he returned to their table; they hunched in close, to confer. I felt suddenly tired, but didn’t dare slouch.

Shaun had politely removed himself to the other end of the room, but drifted back over after Darren left.

“It’s all cool?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I finally took a drink of the beer that had been waiting faithfully for me on the bar. It had gone a bit warm. “I guess we’ll find out.”

Ben wasn’t meeting me tonight, which meant I’d have the one drink and head home. By then, most of the buzz from the show would wear off and I’d be ready to sleep. Or if the buzz hadn’t worn off, maybe I wouldn’t be ready to sleep, and maybe Ben wouldn’t be, either …

My face was buried in the mug when Shaun said, “Hey, look,” and nodded at the front door.

Rick was standing there and tapped the glass when I spotted him. Rick, finally.

I opened the door and let him inside. “You’ve been invited. You can come in.”

“Yes, but I thought I’d be polite,” he said. “Since I’m here to talk and not drink.” He eyed the few people at the bar and scattered at tables appreciatively. I was pretty sure he did it to be funny.

“And for that, I thank you,” I said.

I guided him to a table in back. He sat across from me and, folding his hands before him, regarded me with a serious expression, lips pulled down. I focused on his chin instead of his eyes. He’d never used his vampiric influence on me before—that I knew of—but he looked like he might be willing to start.

“What is it?” I said.

“You and your hunter friend have been digging,” he said.

Oops. My cheeks flushed to burning. “Well, I mean … It was broad daylight, how did you even know?”

He raised a brow at me, indicating that I should know better than to ask such a question. However he’d found out, he wasn’t going to tell me. They were vampires, and that should be enough to explain anything to a mere mortal such as myself.

“You all are very invested in your reputations for omnipotence, you know that?” I said.

“As you say,” he answered.

Omnipotence and inscrutability. How did I ever expect anything different? I said, “I’m just worried. About you. About that guy. I’ve been trying to call you—we need to talk. Detective Hardin’s looking for him. He’s wanted for arson and murder in Europe.”

“That’s really not your concern,” he said, and I started getting angry.

“Yeah, until Hardin comes to me asking questions and I have to cover your ass.”

He turned a hand in apology. “I appreciate that. But this is my business, mine alone. Hardin won’t find him, even if you do help her. In the meantime, it would be better for you and Cormac if you stay out of this.”

“I’d solve a lot of my problems by just staying out of things,” I said. “But if Hardin is right and Columban caused that trouble in Europe, what’s to say he won’t cause the same trouble here?”

“He won’t. Nobody’s in any danger—”

“He makes me nervous,” I said.

“Are you worried because he’s a vampire, or because he’s a Catholic priest?”