Kelley Armstrong - The Calling

“I do.”

I understand that you had an impossible choice to make. I understand that I couldn’t be that choice. It had to be both of us—Annie and me—safe, and what you wanted didn’t matter. Just like when you let go of my hands in the helicopter .

I said the same words he’d said to me before he’d let go.

“It’s okay.”

A twisted smile. “No, not really. But it’ll be okay soon. Or as close as it can get.”

RAFE LEFT THEN. GOT out, dried off, dressed, and slipped away before anyone caught him. I washed in the now-cool water. Or I think I did. I couldn’t remember doing it, though the walls were flecked with suds when I got out.

I’d forgiven Rafe for what he’d done. I suppose that surprised me a little. But he really didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t hold that against him.

Back when he’d told me why he’d come to Salmon Creek, I hadn’t forgiven him nearly as quickly. There had to be a better way to find the other skin-walker, I reasoned, one that didn’t hurt the feelings of every girl in town. But a lot had changed since then. A lot had changed in me, and even if I still thought I’d have found another way, I understood that he’d done his best, that he regretted any hurt he’d caused. This time, I wasn’t even sure there was another way.

That didn’t mean I was okay with it. Okay with his decision, yes, as painful as it was. What I wasn’t okay with was the overall situation. We were sitting in a trap. The St. Clouds—and maybe even the Nasts by now—were out there, watching us and listening. And there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it because Rafe was right—we needed to get to Vancouver, where we could lose ourselves in a metropolis. Until then, we had to act like nothing was wrong. No, I had to act like nothing was wrong. The others couldn’t know.

But Daniel… Daniel wasn’t just “the others.” Not telling him felt like a betrayal. It was a betrayal. I’d told Rafe that I wouldn’t, but the more I thought about it, the less certain I was I could keep that promise.

We gathered food and supplies from the other houses. As for money, I’d cleared out the emergency stash my parents had forgotten, and even if I knew they’d want me to have it, it still kind of felt like stealing. The others did the same, taking money from anyplace they knew their parents hid it. We all had bank cards, too—all except Rafe. We agreed to take out the maximum just before we got on the ferry.

Would our accounts be blocked? We didn’t know. If not, would the banks alert our families? Would our parents think some ghoul had taken the cards from the crash wreckage? Or would they realize how unlikely that would be—not only finding our cards but our PINs—and would that make them consider the possibility we were still alive? I hoped so. God, I hoped so.

We decided to stay at Principal Barnes’s house. He had a ten-year-old son and a daughter in the grade below us, so there were three bedrooms, plus a sofa bed. Daniel wanted the sofa bed, so he could sleep on the main level, in case anyone broke in. I’d get Kenjii to stay with him, as backup.

Sam and I took the kids’ rooms. Both had just single beds, and I’d suggested Sam and I could share the master room instead, but Rafe said no. Give that to Corey and he’d use the futon in the covered back patio and guard the back door.

Did he need to sneak out and report in? Maybe. We’d barely spoken since the shower. Or, I guess, I’d barely spoken to him. I couldn’t stop thinking about his clothes being bugged.

I was heading to bed when Daniel appeared. “Is everything okay?” he whispered when we were inside my room with the door closed.

“Sure.”

His look called me a liar. “You and Rafe. Something’s up.”

I hesitated and the urge to tell him everything was so strong, I had to clamp my jaw shut.

“No,” I said quickly. “Everything’s fine. I just… It’s a little much right now. I thought he was dead, and he isn’t, and… I’m feeling a lot of things.” Which was the truth.

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t a problem.”

There is. There’s a huge problem. And I should tell you. If anything goes wrong and you get hurt, I’ll never forgive myself .

“No problem,” I said. “I’m just confused and exhausted and worried about my parents, and really hoping we’ll get somewhere tomorrow.”

“We will.”

I lay in bed and stared at the wall. Rafe had put me in an impossible position. If I didn’t tell Daniel, what did that make me? The kind of girl who fell head-over-heels for a guy and forgot her friends? Who’d put her new boyfriend ahead of those who’d been in her life for years?

Where did my loyalty lie? Part of me wanted to say “with Rafe.” He’d been willing to die for me. Now he was giving up his freedom for me.

But where did my loyalty really lie? There was no question. With the guy who’d been by my side since I was five. Who’d watched my back since I was five. Who’d suffered with me through Serena’s death and Rafe’s supposed death and everything else. The guy whose own loyalty I never questioned.

I had to tell Daniel.

I waited until everyone was asleep, then crept downstairs. Through the living room doorway, I could see Daniel on the sofa bed, Kenjii lying across his feet. She lifted her head, but I put out my hand, telling her to stay, and she lowered it again.

I walked to the covered porch. Rafe was on the futon, still dressed, no blankets or pillow, sleeping with his head on his arm. It was chilly, with the cold night air seeming to blast through the window glass. I found a blanket folded by the wood-burning stove.

I went back to Rafe, unfolded the blanket, and crawled in beside him.

He woke as I was pulling the blanket up over us.

“Maya?”

I put my fingers to my lips and lay down. When I opened my mouth, he put his hand over it and waved at himself, reminding me that he was still wired. Then he leaned to my ear again, his voice so low I’d never have heard it without skin-walker hearing.

“I have to sleep with my clothes on. But I know why you’re here. Daniel.”

“I—”

He covered my mouth again and whispered in my ear. “You need to tell him. I was hoping you wouldn’t…”

He trailed off, but stayed by my ear, so I couldn’t see his expression. I knew what I’d see if I did, though. Disappointment. Hurt.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

He hugged me. A tight hug. Fierce. Then his lips went to my ear again. “Don’t be.”

I tried to look away, but he caught my chin and kissed me and it was such a sweet kiss, and I felt so guilty, like I’d betrayed him, and my throat seized up and tears trickled down my cheeks, onto his.

He pulled back and looked surprised, then wiped the tears away with his thumbs, holding my face in his hand.

“It’s all good, Maya,” he whispered. “I mean that. I see how you and Daniel are, and I want you to trust me that much, but I know I have to earn it and I’ve done a crappy job so far. Still you trusted me enough to tell me first. That’s a start. A big start.”

He bent down and his kiss was so full of longing that tears pricked my eyes again. When another one rolled down my cheek, he wiped it away.

“No more of that,” he said.

“I’m just—”

“I know.” His lips moved to my ear. “So am I.”

I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, face buried in his neck, and he hugged me back, making no move to kiss me again, just holding me. Then he put his lips against my ear and whispered, “I’ll find a way to get back to you, Maya. I promise.” I knew he couldn’t promise, neither of us could promise, but in that moment, I let myself believe it, and I curled up against him, closed my eyes, and fell into the first deep and dreamless sleep I’d had in a week.