Rachel Caine: Fall of Night

She needed to think about how she felt about that disappointment on her own, but all she could really think right at this moment was how much she wanted to feel his warm, strong arms wrapped around her, his body shielding her from the cold. How much she wanted one more kiss, one more whisper, one more … everything.

‘The world out there isn’t like it is here,’ Myrnin said. ‘I know it hasn’t been easy for you here – and I’ve been a significant part of your challenges, as well. But Claire, I do know something of the world – I have been in it for hundreds of years, and although technology changes, people are little different, then or now. They are afraid, and they use that fear to excuse their own actions – whether it is theft or hatred, violence or murder. People bond themselves into families and groups for protection, and strangers … strangers are always at risk.’

He was right. She’d come into Morganville a stranger, and she’d been at risk … until she’d found her group, her family, her place.

Claire took in a deep breath. She kicked sand with her sneaker toe, and said, ‘Then I’ll find my group there, where I’m going. You know I can do it. I did it here.’

‘Here, you are exceptional,’ he said. ‘There, who knows? They might not value you as much as we do.’

He’d put his finger on her greatest fear … the fear of not being the best. Of being just … average, like everybody else. She’d always worked so hard to excel, worked at it with a passion that was close to fear; going to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology was the Holy Grail of that quest, but it also came with a double-edged risk. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if everybody else was faster, better, smarter, stronger? She couldn’t fail. She couldn’t. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she said, and forced a confident smile. ‘I can do this.’

He sighed, then, and shrugged. ‘Yes. Yes, I imagine that you can,’ he said. ‘I wish it was otherwise. I’d rather you stayed here, safe.’

‘Safe!’ She burst out laughing, which made him give her a hurt look … but really, it was ridiculous. Nothing about Morganville, Texas was truly safe … it took a vampire to even suggest that. ‘I – never mind. Maybe being safe isn’t the best thing all the time. I need to be sure who I am out there, Myrnin. I need to be Claire , for a while, and find out who I am, deep down. Not part of something else that’s so much more – confident than I am.’ Or someone else . Because it wasn’t just Shane, it was Myrnin as well.

He looked at her directly, then, with those warm dark eyes that seemed so human and yet, at the same time, were so very not. He’d seen so much – ages, generations, all kinds of horror and death, brilliance and beauty. And it showed. ‘I will miss you, Claire. You know that.’

‘I know,’ she said, and couldn’t look away. She wanted to, but Myrnin’s gaze held hers like a magnet. ‘I’ll miss you too.’

He flew at her and embraced her, a sudden and awkward kind of thing; he was too strong, and too fast, and it drew a startled little squeak from her as her body remembered all too well how it felt to have fangs sinking into her neck … but then he was gone again, stepping away, turning toward the horizon where pink was painting the hills and scrub brush of the desert. The wind was cold, and picking up speed.

‘You should go,’ Claire said, and got control of her pounding heart, somehow. ‘My parents are on the way. They’ll be here any minute.’

‘A very poor escort I’d be to leave you out here in the dark, prey for anything,’ he said. ‘Highwaymen, and all that.’

‘Myrnin, there haven’t been highwaymen in at least a hundred years. Probably more.’

‘Robbers, then. Serial killers. The modern bogeyman under the bed, yes? Bad men skulking in the darkness have always been there, and always will.’ He flashed a smile at her, which was made unsettling by the extra-long eyeteeth, but he was still glancing uneasily at the horizon. Myrnin was old; he wouldn’t burst into flames with the rise of the sun, but he’d be uncomfortably scorched. ‘I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept.’

‘More than a little,’ she sighed, and caught sight of car headlights speeding over the crest of the far hill. Mom and Dad. She felt a little surge of excitement, but it was quickly overwhelmed with a huge wave of sadness and longing. It felt different from what she expected, leaving Morganville … leaving her friends behind. Leaving Shane . ‘They’re coming. You should go.’

‘Should I not see you off?’

‘In that get-up?’

Myrnin looked down at himself, baffled. ‘It’s most elegant!’

‘When you were partying down with Beethoven, maybe, but today you look like you’re on your way to a fancy dress ball.’

‘So I ought to have worn the casual shirt with it, then?’

Claire almost smiled at the idea of one of his loud Hawaiian shirts thrown on over breeches and boots. ‘God, no. You look great. Just not … period appropriate. So go on, I’ll be fine, okay?’

He looked at the car, coming fast toward them, and finally nodded. ‘All right,’ he said. ‘Professor Anderson will be expecting you. Don’t forget, you can use the telephone to call me.’

He seemed proud he’d remembered that – modern tech not being his strongest skill – and Claire struggled not to roll her eyes. ‘I won’t forget,’ she said. ‘You’d better get in your car. Sun’s coming up, I don’t want you to get burnt.’

It was. She could see the hot gold edge of it just cresting the hill to the east, and the sky above had turned a dark indigo blue. In minutes, it’d be full daylight, and Myrnin needed to be under cover.

He nodded to her, and gave her a formal, antique bow, which looked weirdly perfect in that outfit. ‘Be careful,’ he said. ‘Not all dangers have a vampire’s fangs. Or a vampire’s predictability.’ He moved fast to the driver’s side of his car, opened the door, and then hesitated for one second more to say, ‘I will miss you very much, Claire.’

He slammed the door and turned the engine on before she could say, ‘I’ll miss you too, Myrnin.’ And then he was gone, roaring back into Morganville’s town limits …

… He rocketed past yet another car that was going way too fast out of Morganville. Claire’s ride was still a couple of miles away, heading in … this car was heading out , toward her.

And she knew that car very well.

The big black hearse skidded to a halt just at the border of the billboard. In fact, it fishtailed sideways as it stopped, and the passenger door flew open so hard Claire was surprised it didn’t break off … and then her boyfriend Shane was hurtling out of it, heading for her at a run.

‘No,’ he blurted, and threw his arms around her. ‘You don’t get to go like that.’

She felt stiff for a moment, with shock and fear of the pain that was coming, but then the familiar lines and planes of his body made her relax against him. Two halves, fitting as if they’d been moulded that way, despite the fact he towered over her. And then she was kissing him, or he was kissing her, and it was wild and hot and desperate and agonising and heartbreaking, and when they finally broke with a gasp she rested her forehead against his chest. She could feel him breathing too fast, hear his heartbeat pounding too loudly. I’m doing this to him , she thought. He’s hurting and it’s my fault.

But she knew she wasn’t wrong about this. She loved Shane, loved him with so much certainty it was like sunrise, but she also knew that he had to see her differently – and she needed to see herself differently, if they were going to last. When he’d met her she’d been helpless, defenceless, and now she needed to prove she was not just his equal, but his independent equal.