Rachel Caine - Fall of Night

‘Yes – I – I—’ She took a deep breath. On the wall across from her was a poster promoting delicious bagels, and she focused in on the colours, the shapes, and tried to clear all the frantic noise from her mind. ‘I’m okay. Let me know when you get your new phone – can I call you on this one until then?’

‘If you want.’ He seemed pleased about that. ‘I know you’re getting settled and all, but maybe I can call around this time at night? Would that work?’

‘Yeah. That works.’

‘Because I don’t want to miss a day with you.’ She was silent, not because she disagreed, but because she was overcome with a wave of emotion so strong she couldn’t get the words out. He mistook it for something else, because he hurried on, tone turning more impersonal. ‘So, yeah, I’ve gotta hit it. Talk to you tomorrow, right?’

‘Right,’ she managed to choke out.

‘Is it pushing you to tell you I love you?’

‘No.’ It wasn’t a wave of emotion, it was a sea, and she was drowning in it. ‘Love you.’ That was all she could manage. She hung up the call, and burst into hot, hard tears. She struggled to keep them quiet, but she knew everybody could tell what was going on. Just another sad, homesick, lonely freshman having a breakdown. Great.

It felt good, though, in a weird way. Six coarse food court napkins later, the storm passed, and she was left with a weary, empty ache inside, but an equally empty brain. Her eyes felt swollen, and she knew she looked a mess, but sometimes … sometimes the emotions were just too big to hold.

She tossed her trash, avoided the glances of other students, and started the walk home. The row house she shared with Elizabeth wasn’t that far – about six blocks, about the same distance she’d walked from Texas Prairie University to her old home at the Glass House. She spotted some students walking, and most had earbuds in, rocking out as they strolled, but she couldn’t even think about that … Morganville had taught her to pay attention, or else.

So she was aware within the first block that someone was following her.

He started out far back, but no matter how fast her pace, he steadily closed the distance. Claire caught glimpses of him in blurry glass windows, but she couldn’t tell much about him, except that he was taller than she was (wasn’t everybody?) and broader, too. Not Shane’s size, not nearly, but big enough, if he meant her harm.

In Morganville, she’d have readied a weapon, but this wasn’t Morganville. Defending herself wasn’t quite that clear-cut. What if she staked some totally innocent person?

‘Hey!’ the man finally called to her, when he’d caught up to about twenty feet. ‘Hey, Claire?’

She turned, still walking, and saw that it was one of the guys from the campus. Nick. There must have been something warning in her body language, because he slowed down and held up both hands, looking suddenly cautious. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s me. Nick. I know, it’s weird I’m following you because we just met, but … I didn’t want you walking by yourself, that’s all.’

‘Oh,’ Claire said. She felt torn between continued suspicion and an intense desire to believe in someone’s innocent intentions, for a change. Surely the entire world couldn’t be that hideous, right? Yes, she’d had bad times; yes, guys she’d trusted had betrayed her. But it wasn’t right to assume that everybody was like that. ‘Oh, well, thanks. What about Viva?’

‘She’s hanging with my crew, headed for the dorm. Not that I actually have a crew, per se, but more of a horde. Possibly a gaggle. So, you’re new, right? First year?’

‘Yes,’ she said.

‘Already living off campus, though?’

‘Well … it was probably a mistake. The dorms seem fun.’

‘It’s epic adventure,’ Nick agreed soberly. ‘Maybe you’re not up for it.’

She almost laughed. ‘Yeah, that’s me. I’m terrified.’

He smiled, and fell in step with her. A comfortable distance away, a gentleman’s distance, nothing intrusive. ‘You don’t seem like the wallflower type.’

It felt so natural and friendly that it came as a shock to her when she suddenly thought, I think he’s flirting with me. Is he? Am I flirting back? I shouldn’t be, should I? It was confusing and strange, and for a perilous second, some rebellious part of her thought, Why shouldn’t I? I came here to stretch my wings. Well. This is stretching.

‘I’m pretty shy,’ Claire said. ‘Really, I am.’

‘I could tell by the way you dragged Viva over and announced her to the world. So, what’s your major?’

The inevitable college question. She didn’t hesitate. ‘Physics.’

Nick seemed pleased, not daunted – another difference between MIT and, well, everywhere else. ‘You don’t just get to say physics. I mean, what flavour? Chocolate, vanilla, applied, theory …’

‘A little of both.’

‘I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure there’s no “little of both” major. You don’t know yet, do you?’ When she didn’t answer, he shrugged and stuck his hands in his jeans pockets. ‘It’s okay. According to the literature, people change around. Probably good to give it some thought before you commit.’

That’s why I’m here , she almost said. To give it some thought . It was about so much more than her choice of study, but she didn’t know how to say that, and she didn’t really want to give him the wrong idea. ‘What’s yours?’

‘My major? Mechanical engineering, emphasis in robotics. Second year. Haven’t flunked me out so far.’

‘Do you think it’s possible to take a human brain and wire it up to control a computer?’

He missed a step, but only one, and said, ‘Ah, I get it, you’re asking me a classic Trek question. “Spock’s Brain”, right? Where the planet of women grabbed Spock, removed his brain and stuck it in a machine to power their systems?’

‘I—’ She had no idea what he was talking about; she’d watched some Star Trek but not the old episodes. Her parents had been kids when those were on. ‘Uh, I guess so.’

‘Geek cred points for trying to stump me, but sorry, you’ll have to do better than that. Would you like to try anime for a hundred?’ When she looked blank, he sighed. ‘What took it down, anime, or the Jeopardy reference?’

‘ Jeopardy , I guess. I know a little about anime.’

‘A little about it? Girl, we need to get you on a study programme, fast. You’re not going to last a week around here if you can’t keep up with the pop culture references. How about Lord of the Rings? Firefly ? Doctor Horrible ? No? Clearly, we have a lot of work to do.’

He chattered on, and it was warm and funny and sweet and for a change, not at all life and death drama. She lost track of time and progress, and all of a sudden she realised they’d walked right past the steps to her row house apartment. She turned and backtracked, and gave Nick an apologetic smile.

‘Ah. The old homestead, I perceive. Well, I did my Guy Duty – you’re okay from here?’

‘Yeah, I’m okay,’ she said. She glanced up. Elizabeth’s windows were dark; she’d already gone to bed. ‘I should probably—’

‘Go, yeah, you should. So just … see you around, then?’

‘I’ll see you around, Nick.’

‘Goodnight, Claire.’ She gave him another smile, and he returned it, and took a few steps away before he turned back toward her, pulling out his phone. ‘Okay, this is probably way out of line, and feel free to Xena Warrior Princess my ass, but can I—?’ He waved the phone at her, and he looked so puppy-dog cute that she almost said yes.