Nicholas Kaufmann - Dying Is My Business

“Trent, listen to me,” she said. “Somehow you absorbed Stryge’s magic when you got his life force. I don’t know how it happened, but the magic of the Ancients is different from ours. It’s not meant for us, our bodies can’t contain it. If you don’t get rid of it somehow, it’ll kill you.”

“But it can’t. Nothing can kill me, not even this.” I looked up at the sky, and saw through it, saw the gears of the universe moving like clockwork. It was filled with spheres, gorgeous, singing, rotating spheres decorated with mystical symbols and designs that made my heart soar. The spheres circled each other like dancers. It was so beautiful. So pure and unsullied by all the horrors of our world. “I have the powers of a god, Bethany. I can unmake it all. I can put an end to the suffering and cruelty, to the killing and the pain, and all I would have to do is pull a loose thread.”

“Don’t. You’d only be proving the oracles right. But they’re not right, Trent, this isn’t who you are. You’re not a killer.”

“I have a list of names that says otherwise,” I said. “But even so, it wouldn’t be murder to unmake this world. It would be mercy . Watch.”

It took no effort at all to reknit the threads below me with a thought, joining them together in a new pattern. The ground shook, and long, sharp fragments of stone burst up out of the crevasse, forming a crooked fence of giant stone spears. Bethany gasped and took a step back from it. She was afraid of me. She was right to be.

Philip came at me from out of nowhere, moving so fast I almost didn’t see him. I’d been wondering where he was. Had he reached me, he could have done some serious damage, but I didn’t let him get that far. There were threads all around him. I bent two of them, and Philip came to a sudden stop in midair, as if he’d hurled himself into an invisible wall. I plucked a thread, and down he went, tumbling to the ground. The threads inside a vampire were different, I noticed, darker in hue, and the atoms they bound burned colder, brighter. It was beautiful, in its own way.

Isaac came at me next, running over a nearby hill. The mage’s entire body crackled with an energy only I could see—magic, shimmering inside him like a star, pure, uninfected. He threw a spell my way, a bright burst of searing light, but I worked a few threads and the spell dissipated. Gabrielle attacked then, wielding the morningstar with her good arm. I sent her sprawling into the dirt next to Philip.

“Stop it!” Bethany yelled. “Stop it, all of you!”

There was so much anger in her voice that it pulled my attention back to her. Isaac’s, too. He lowered his crackling hands, and Philip and Gabrielle stood up, brushing dirt off their clothes.

“You’re not going to unmake the world, Trent, because you’re not a killer,” Bethany insisted. “That’s not who you are. I know it’s not.”

“You don’t know me,” I said.

“But I do.” She walked closer, skirting around the jagged spears of rock until she was right under me. She wasn’t afraid anymore. “Do you want to know why I kept you around after the power inside you almost killed me? Or why I didn’t kick you out after you drew your gun on me? It’s because despite everything, I saw something good in you. I saw who you could be if you only gave yourself a chance.”

I looked down at her, concentrating until the atoms-filled silhouette was gone and I could see her face again. “But the oracles…”

“To hell with them. Believe me, I’ve been called every name in the book. I know what it’s like. When you’re a kid and you’re different, the other kids make sure you know it, every single day. It’s hard not to let it get to you when someone calls you an abomination. It’s hard not to internalize it, but it’s normal. It’s human.”

“What if I’m not human?” I asked.

“What if you are ? Would it make your life easier? Would it make you a different person? You still have free will, Trent. What matters isn’t what you are, it’s who you are, right now, in this moment. What matters are the choices we make. That’s what defines us. Nothing else.”

I felt myself calming, and sensed the new power inside me growing calmer, too. A moment later, the white fire in my eyes, nose, and mouth sputtered and died out.

“Now,” Bethany said, putting her hands on her hips, “are you going to stop this and come down from there, or am I going to have to pull you down myself?”

The threads around me started to vanish, but a split second before my vision returned to normal, the world seemed to break open, and I saw what lay behind its mask. I saw seven titanic figures, seven pairs of eyes watching, always watching, and an empty space where an eighth figure should have been. Then it was gone, and everything took on solid shapes again. Unable to stay afloat, and unsure how I’d managed it in the first place, I fell out of the air and onto the ground at Bethany’s feet.

She knelt beside me and helped me up. I stumbled on weak legs, and she steadied me. “I’ve got you.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I don’t think I could have stopped if you hadn’t…” I trailed off, words failing me again.

Bethany gave me a wry smile. “See what happens? I leave you alone for five minutes and you almost destroy the world.”

I smiled back, but it was halfhearted. Inside, I felt unstable and unsure of myself. Was my self-loathing so strong that I’d nearly taken the world apart because of it?

“Is it gone now?” she asked.

I shook my head. The power was still with me, I could feel it burning inside me like a low flame, but I couldn’t reach it, couldn’t make it do what it did before. It was as if the power had gone dormant. “It’s still in me, but it’s under control.”

“Be careful,” she said. “I’m serious. There’s a reason no mortal has ever tried to carry Ancient magic. It’s volatile. Dangerous.”

I nodded to let her know I understood. She went to make sure Isaac, Gabrielle, and Philip were all right. I was going to have some apologizing to do to the team. Again. At this point, it was practically a pastime.

My boot kicked something that tinkled along the ground. I looked down and saw the thin, delicate ammonite shell lying shattered on the ground where it had fallen. I knelt and sifted through the tiny pieces, but there were too many of them for the amulet to be salvaged. Damn. I hadn’t had a choice, taking it off had been the only way to stop Stryge, but Bethany’s little charm had changed everything, even if only for a moment. Losing it stung. We hadn’t even had the chance to come up with a name for it. I sighed, and was about to stand up again when the sound of something cutting rapidly through the air caught my attention. Before I could react, an arrow embedded itself in the dirt right in front of me.

I jumped to my feet. Melanthius stood on a mound of broken Cloisters stones, an archer’s bow in his hands. He pulled another arrow from the quiver strapped to his back, notched it into the bowstring, and sent it flying at Bethany. She jumped aside, but the arrow tore the sleeve of her shirt and drew a line of blood across her shoulder. She gasped, but it was only a flesh wound. She ran for cover behind one of the big, jagged stones sticking up from the crevasse.

Either Melanthius was a bad shot or he was trying to get our attention. I figured it was the latter. Well, now he had it.

He reached for another arrow, but before he could pull it out, a dark blur rushed out of nowhere and slammed into him. Philip ripped the bow from Melanthius’s hands and punched him across the golden skull mask. Melanthius stumbled backward and almost fell, but Philip grabbed him by the front of his cloak and pulled him back up. While Melanthius was still dazed, Philip took a piece of rope out of his pocket, the same rope his own hands had been tied with earlier, and used it to tie Melanthius’s hands behind his back. It struck me as a fitting irony.