Bryony Pearce - The Weight of Souls

“God.” Pete’s knees hit the chair and he sank down. “How is this possible?”

“It’s a lot to go into.” I slipped under Justin’s arm and placed my hand on his chest, holding him back. “For now, just accept that Justin’s come back a ghost.” I kept my eyes on Pete. His mouth was trembling as if he was going to cry. My own lungs tightened. “Is there anything you want to say to him?”

“God, yes.” Pete raised his head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I mean I knew something was way off, but I wasn’t sure, and it was V, man, you just do what you do. You know .”

Justin grunted.

“If I could take it back, I would. I’d do anything. When you fell – shit.” Pete was trembling all over now. “I threw up, I’ve never been more scared. And James said this was the thing that would keep us all tied to V. We were lifers. No leaving the club. Ever.” He rubbed a quivering hand over the bristles on his head. “And after that I really wanted to leave.” He glanced at me. “When James disappeared into that darkness, the first thought I had was, I can get out now . Isn’t that terrible?”

I had to leave Justin, but my fingers were reluctant, I trailed my hand along his arm as I went. Then I sat down next to Pete. “James is gone. I’m going to get this whole thing stopped so it can’t happen to anyone else.”

Pete shook his head. “You can’t stop it, Tay, there’re members everywhere. The head told us there’s an old member in the police…”

“I know.” I touched his hand and he flinched away. “If necessary I’ll go to the papers.”

Pete swallowed and rubbed his stubbled head.

“You don’t believe I can fix this, that’s fine, I don’t need you to. But you do believe me about the ghosts?”

“Yes,” Pete whispered.

“Alright.” I looked at Justin. “The dead are why I behaved so strangely. And I couldn’t hang out all those times because I really was doing family stuff with Mum, curse stuff.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Pete’s eyes skidded over my face. “Don’t answer that, I understand. I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“You had to see Justin with your own eyes.”

The ghost in question was still in the middle of the aisle, but he had turned his back on us and was now guarding the stairs. My shoulders felt lighter than I could remember. I had been carrying the weight of enforced attention for so many years; the relief of letting someone else share the burden literally made me sit up straighter. I felt as though I was breathing for the first time.

I turned back to Pete. “I’m going to tell Hannah.” I fiddled with my blazer. “She has to forgive me.”

“If Justin speaks to her, she will.” Pete stared at him once more. “She loves you, she’ll come round.”

“What about you?” I swallowed nervously. “Will you come round?”

The bus drew to a stop and Pete looked up as Justin stood to attention. “You know what I’ve done. You don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

I grabbed for his hand and this time he let me hold it. His skin was drier than it used to be and his nails were cracked. I squeezed his knuckles under mine. “I’m your friend, Pete. I always was. Now you know about me we can both start over.”

His hand twitched. “Tell me what happened to them – to James, Tamsin and Harley.”

“They went to be judged.” I decided to stay quiet about Anubis, I thought that might be one truth too far. “They won’t be coming back.”

“I should have been taken too, shouldn’t I?” Pete’s eyes burned into mine. “That Mark, you were meant to put it on me.”

Justin spoke, his voice seemingly floating from his turned back. “She kept the Mark herself and the Darkness took her, like it did the others. She almost got trapped inside. For you.”

Pete whitened further. “You did that for me?”

I said nothing.

“Why?”

“I told you, you’re my oldest friend.” I struggled to keep my voice steady. “Please say we’re OK.”

Pete forced a smile as the bus pulled into the school stop. “I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“That’s alright,” I grinned. “I take lunch money.”

With an explosive laugh, Pete shoved me and I lurched to my feet. Together we followed Justin into the street. The school loomed in front of us, a promise of a difficult day ahead.

Justin caught my hands and pulled me close. “I’m going to patrol; it’ll be better than just hanging in one place.”

My heart rose as his head dropped and his lips hovered over mine. Pete cleared his throat and turned away. The faintest hint of breath touched my mouth and I opened my eyes in surprise as Justin kissed me. I pressed my lips against his and inhaled him in; the intensity of his scent, the suggestion of moisture on his skin, traces of life. My lungs tightened and my heart raced. I clenched my fingers in his blazer until I felt my knees begin to quake, then I pulled away with a tremulous sigh.

Justin stroked my cheek with his fingertips. “I’ll be here at lunchtime if you want to see me.”

I smiled. “I want to see you.”

“Alright then.” He stepped backward. I’d better get on with it.” He glanced at the school gate, as if he wished he was going in with me and I released his hand. He grinned and his hair flopped into his face. “Have a nice day.” He jerked his head. “Get going.”

“I’ll miss you.” I swung my backpack and headed for the entrance. “See you later.”

Pete jogged until his stride matched mine. “So… you and Justin…”

“Yes.” The smile crept back onto my cooling lips.

“He’s dead.” Pete shuddered.

“Yes.” I raised my eyebrows.

“OK then.” Pete stuck his arm through mine and I froze momentarily. Then I carried on walking as if nothing had happened, terrified of breaking this fragile new thing between us.

“This is going to take a bit of getting used to,” he said and I nodded, looking for the first time in years at the flowers in the beds, the noticeboard by the main office and the mural on the outside of the sixth form centre.

Then I really did freeze. Hannah was walking from the direction of the library.

“What has she done to her hair?” My horror was focused so strongly on the travesty that I barely saw the two girls walking arm in arm with her.

Pete hissed through his teeth. “It doesn’t suit her.”

I blinked, blindsided, as the three came closer, all with matching alice-bands and brown shoulder-length bobs. Hannah’s hair was still a mass of frizz, but she had tried to tame it with some product or other and it hung, lifelessly, along her face.

She was leaning into the girl on the left, giggling at something she said. Then she saw Pete with his arm in mine. Her feet tangled in one another and she would have tripped if she hadn’t been held up by her new friends.

“We need to talk,” I called.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Her new friends raised their heads and the trio started to march around us.

“Please, Han.” I injected a note of pleading in my voice. Her chin jutted, she was hardening her heart against me.

“Just for a minute.” Pete weighed in on my side and I suppressed a surprised gasp. “Hear her out and if you still aren’t interested, I won’t let her bother you again.”

I bit my tongue. If Hannah didn’t cave for Pete, then she wasn’t going to.

“Come on, Hannah, we were going to the music room, remember.” Her new friends tugged on her arm, but to my delight she pulled free.

“I’ll meet you there.” She waved them off. “I have a thing to do here. It won’t take long.”

I didn’t take my eyes from her face, as the muttered complaints of her new friends grew more distant.