Christina Henry - Black Heart

“Bendith,” he said hoarsely. “I could not . . . I could not . . .”

“I know,” I said.

Bendith was dead. Titania’s son was dead.

The sky above us turned a sickly, poison green. Clouds rolled in, swirling in a frantic circle above our heads.

“She’s coming,” I said. “The dominoes are falling.”

I felt a strange calm as I said this. The knot that had pulled so tight inside me was gone. The thing I had feared had happened. There was nothing left to do now except deal with the fallout.

“She?” Nathaniel said. He seemed numb, too wrapped in his own grief to realize what was happening.

“Titania,” I said.

The air around us crackled with tension, and then we heard it. A scream, a howl so complete in its pain that I felt it in the marrow of my bones. It started off softly, like it was far away, and then gathered in volume and intensity until I was forced to cover my ears so that they would not bleed, and still I could hear her, feel her screaming inside my brain and my heart, the grief of a mother who has lost her only child.

That grief went into the heart of me, into that place that lived every moment in fear for the life of my own son. Titania had been my enemy from the start, but I was sorry for her, more sorry than I could say. No one should have to feel pain like that.

Was this what Lucifer felt when he thought he’d lost Evangeline and his sons all those years ago? I thought with a sudden flash of insight. Or, worse, had he actually felt this way when I’d killed Baraqiel and Ramuell?

I hardly ever credited Lucifer with human feeling. God knows he had more children than could possibly be counted, and the ones I had met were pretty monstrous. But maybe that didn’t mean he loved them any less.

And just because it wasn’t in his nature to howl and rage at the sky didn’t mean that he wasn’t furious with me for killing them.

I don’t know why this had never bothered me before. Maybe it was because I was pregnant that I finally realized how it felt to be a parent, or maybe it was because Lucifer always acted like he cared about me. Everyone always talked about how obsessed he was with his bloodline, and I was part of that bloodline.

But a granddaughter several times removed couldn’t possibly hold the same rank as a child would in his heart.

J.B.’s voice broke into my reverie. “Um, maybe we should leave. Because Titania is going to be pretty upset, and like Beezle said, you’ve got a reputation for setting things on fire.”

“She’s going to blame me,” I said. It was strange how calm I felt as I said this. “Someone set me up. Someone manipulated us into coming here so that we could take the fall. Bendith was never taken by Titania’s men in the first place. Someone else’s agenda is at work here.”

J.B. tugged at my arm as the sky darkened more. “If you know you’re going to get blamed, then isn’t it better to leave the scene of the crime?”

“She’ll just chase me,” I said faintly, looking at the sky. “There’s nothing I can do to stop this.”

A showdown between Titania and me had been brewing for a while. She’d tried to kill me several times by proxy, but I didn’t think she was going to sit on her throne and try throwing a monster at me this time. She would want to feel my throat being crushed beneath her hands.

“Take Beezle,” I said, passing my gargoyle to J.B. “And get away. I’m going to try to lead her toward the lake, so nobody gets hurt.”

“Except you,” J.B. said.

“I won’t let her kill me,” I said, covering my belly with my hand. “I have too much to live for.”

Nathaniel finally seemed to come out of his shock-induced coma. “You are not going to battle the High Queen of Faerie.”

“You don’t get to decide,” I said. “The two of you are talking like I have a choice here. She’s going to think I killed Bendith. It doesn’t matter what the truth is, that I had nothing to do with it. I’m on the scene, and she hates me anyway. She’s going to hound me until I’m dead, no matter what. It’s better if we have this out now, while it’s just Titania. If I wait, she’ll raise an army against me and then I won’t have a prayer.”

Nathaniel grabbed me by the shoulders. “You don’t have a prayer now. She is an ancient thing, older even than Azazel. Even with all the depths of your power, she is stronger than you can imagine.”

“But she’s also mad with grief,” I said softly. “She won’t be thinking clearly. I will be.”

Nathaniel dropped his hands to his sides, his face shocked. “You mean to try to kill her.”

“You can’t,” J.B. said. “You could take out the whole city. Killing something that old and magical would be like setting off a nuclear bomb over Lake Michigan.”

“I can diminish her,” I said. “Like I did with Oberon.”

“This is ridiculous,” J.B said.

“I agree,” Nathaniel said.

Beezle only watched me with sad, steady eyes. “Maddy’s right. She has to do this now, or else Titania will never give her peace. But, Maddy . . .”

I waited for him to finish, my eyes on his.

“Don’t forget who you are,” he said finally.

“I won’t,” I promised, and kissed his forehead. “Now, go. I’m going to head toward the lake before the Wicked Witch appears.”

“Are you so sure she will follow you?” Nathaniel asked.

“Yes,” I said. “She’ll look for traces of magic, and she’ll know I was here. And once she knows that, she will follow me.”

“I do not want to leave you alone,” Nathaniel said. “I sent you away from me once, and I thought I lost you forever. You cannot ask me to stand by and let you take this risk on your own.”

“You have to. It’s me she wants, me that she will engage. You’ll just get in the way,” I said, pushing him toward J.B. and Beezle. “I won’t die.”

“Do not make promises you cannot keep,” Nathaniel said. “Everything dies. You should know that better than anyone. You told me so yourself.”

“I do know,” I said. “But I won’t let Titania kill me.”

He reached for me, but I backed away, shaking my head. “I’m not going to kiss you good-bye. Because I am going to come back.”

I turned away then, speeding east over the city and toward Lake Michigan. I wished I felt as confident as I seemed. There was a very good chance that Titania would tear me to shreds. But I had to try to deal with her now, while she was grieving and presumably not thinking straight. I might never have a shot otherwise.

The storm in the sky grew, reaching its tentacles across Chicago. The city below was coated in green light.

I passed over the Loop, a busy hive of people hurrying to work. The El rumbled along its various tracks. Cabs discharged harried passengers in front of office buildings. No one seemed in the least concerned that a major unscheduled storm was brewing.

The sailboats had returned to the harbor with the advent of spring, and the boats were rocking on their moorings as the lake was whipped up by the atmosphere.

I wondered whether Alerian had returned to the lake, and whether he would help me if I needed it. I knew next to nothing about my mysterious uncle, but I didn’t get the same feeling of warmth and comfort from him that I got from Daharan. I didn’t think he would be inclined to stick his neck out for me, especially since he didn’t seem to like Lucifer much.

None of his brothers seemed to like Lucifer much, come to think of it.

I kept going until I was well away from the shore, and still I flew. I didn’t want Titania anywhere near my city. The people of Chicago had suffered more than enough already.

When I glanced behind me and saw that the skyline was nothing but a speck, I stopped and turned around. My heart was pounding furiously in my chest. I floated high above the surface of Lake Michigan, and wondered just what the hell I thought I was doing here.