Sandy Williams - The Sharpest Blade

He ends the kiss, tilting his head down slightly so only our foreheads touch.

“Taltrayn was supposed to keep you away,” he says.

“No, he was supposed to free you.”

“McKenzie—”

“You’re an idiot if you thought I’d just sit back and let you die.”

I shove the bolt cutters into my backpack and stand. This time, Aren stands, too.

“We have to hurry. Hison might be on his way back.”

Aren doesn’t budge.

“We have to go now ,” I tell him. I’m trying to be patient, trying not to get pissed off because we don’t have time to fight right now.

“You haven’t thought this through.”

“I’ve thought it through to the point where you’re executed , Aren.”

He shakes his head. “No, listen.” He grabs my hand. “Lena is just a few votes short of becoming the permanent queen. Hison hates me—that’s why he won’t vote for her—but when I’m gone, he will. Others will follow his lead.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do,” he says. “He gave me his oath. We signed an agreement. Kelia’s father, Lord Raen, witnessed it. My written confession and cooperation will clear her way to the throne. But it’s not just that. I’ve done . . .” He drops my hand to run his fingers through his hair. “You know I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’m the reason Caelar is still fighting. He’ll stop when I’m dead.”

“Oh, God, Aren. Caelar is weak.”

“He’s working with the false-blood.”

“You don’t know that!” I scream the words this time. I have to do something to get through to him.

He doesn’t retreat. He steps closer, glaring down at me. “If you don’t care about the Realm or Lena’s future, then think about yourself. Think about yourself for once!”

“I’m thinking about all of us! Lena knows nothing of this plan. Once we get out of here, you’ll disappear for a while. We’ll find—”

“Hison won’t believe she had nothing to do with this.”

“We’ll find a good illusionist,” I continue through gritted teeth. “We’ll fake your death. Hison will be happy then.”

“It won’t work, McKenzie.”

“It will ,” I say. It has to.

“ Sidhe , you’re . . . you.” He grabs my shoulders. “McKenzie, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love. I want to go with you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, but my death will solve so many problems and . . . And Taltrayn loves you. You can be happy.” His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, then he turns his back on me.

I’m going to kill him. I’m going to fucking kill him. “I chose you , Aren. I chose you because I love you, and I have never regretted that decision. I’ve never wavered. You’re the one who keeps . . .”

He keeps pushing me away. My heart drops out of my chest.

“This is why you’ve kept your distance from me. You . . . You planned to sacrifice yourself from the beginning.” My laugh borders on hysteria. “So what was last night? You sleep with me, then decide you have to run off and kill yourself?”

“No.” He turns back toward me, shaking his head. “No, McKenzie. I didn’t plan this.” He closes his eyes briefly. “I mean, this was my backup plan. I’ve been trying to find a way to break your life-bond. I’ve read every word written about them, I’ve chased every hint of a rumor across the Realm, and I . . . I haven’t found a way, and I ran out of time. Hison was going to arrest Lena. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“I can’t let this happen,” I tell him.

He takes my hand, pulling me closer to him. “Please.” His voice cracks, and he lowers his head until his forehead is pressed against mine again. I don’t know what to do. He’s angry and desperate and hurting, but so am I, and I refuse to lose him.

“McKenzie, please let me do this.”

“Please let you commit suicide?” I swipe the back of my hand across my face, smearing tears I didn’t know I cried. “No.”

“Suicide.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “You’re well acquainted with that, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“I heard what happened at the veligh . You put yourself between the fire-wielder and Taltrayn. You claim you chose me? You chose him when you sacrificed yourself.”

“I was saving the palace! I was saving you and Lena and the whole fucking Realm!”

“And I’m saving you and Taltrayn and Lena’s whole fucking Court, but my actions make me suicidal while yours make you a martyr.”

“It’s completely different!”

“It’s not!” he roars.

I flinch back, and I can’t scrape up any more words. It’s strange how emotional distress can cause physical pain. My stomach hurts as if someone’s twisting a knife in my gut. If I look down, I’m almost certain I’ll see my shirt stained red. This feels like a betrayal. Aren isn’t fighting for me like he promised; he’s giving up.

“This is why I didn’t want to see you,” Aren says, and another knife pierces my stomach. “I don’t want our last words to be angry.”

“Me neither,” I say. My voice sounds hollow. I feel empty. If Kyol was conscious, he wouldn’t sense a thing from me.

Aren’s arms encircle my waist. I’m stiff when he pulls me against his chest. I don’t want to make this easy for him. I want him to realize how much he’s hurting me and just how big a fool he is. I want him to know—

“Nalkin-shom,” he whispers in my ear. “Please.”

I break. The stiffness whooshes out of me all at once, and I’m malleable as potters clay. My body fits inside the shelter of his arms just the way it should, and when he tilts my chin up for a last kiss, I can’t refuse him. I can only close my eyes and hold him tight as my lightning sears his lips. He trembles, and my heart shatters, not just because he’s set on leaving me but because there’s a trace of fear in his kiss. He’s scheduled to die in a few hours. He’s been sitting here thinking about that, about the end of his life and his body rotting in the sun. Beneath his strong veneer, he’s afraid.

I reach up and clench my fingers into his mussed-up hair, pulling him closer and making the kiss fierce. Bruising. My body flushes with the heat of passion instead of anger, and there’s an audible crackle when lightning skips from me to him. Aren groans, dropping his hands to my hips. He moves forward, and I stumble back until I hit the wall, then his hands are under my shirt. His palms leave a trail of delicious heat as they skate over my ribs.

Taking my lips off his is like ripping the edarratae from my skin, but I put my hands on his chest, fisting his shirt as I put half an inch of space between us. He cradles my face between his palms. His chest rises and falls over and over again in quick succession as my chaos lusters flash across his hands and up his arms. I sense the electricity moving through him. It’s building in his blood. He needs to funnel it somewhere as much as I do, but just before I’m certain he’s going to brand me with something too powerful to be called a kiss, he backs away, clenching his fists by his sides.

“You have a plan to get out of here?” he asks softly.

I swallow down a sob.

“The window,” I say, my voice tight. Hison’s office backs up directly to the rocky foothills of the Corrist Mountains.

Aren’s laugh is short and quiet, and it makes the pieces of my heart fall into my stomach. My words haven’t swayed him. He’s choosing to stay here.

He picks up my backpack and hands it to me, then he clucks to Sosch. The kimki jumps onto his shoulder without further prompting.