Sandy Williams - The Sharpest Blade

“I passed her in the hall,” he says, confirming my words. “Hison wanted to meet with her.”

“Hison.” His name puts a bad taste in my mouth. “You’re running errands for him now?”

Aren stiffens. “No.”

“What’s going on with him?” I ask.

“It’s nothing.” He steps around me.

“Then why are you talking to him so much?” I demand, turning. “Is he blackmailing you?”

“I said it’s nothing,” he fires over his shoulder.

“That’s bullshit, Aren.” I grab his arm, and he spins so quickly I stagger back a half step.

“Here.” He slaps something into my palm. “I came to give you that.”

I look down. And stop breathing. It’s Kyol’s name-cord. He gave it to me years ago. I kept it in a jewelry box in my old apartment, and the last time I was there, I slid it into my pocket, intending to give it back to him. But the remnants came after me. We were trying to figure out who they were and what had happened to Paige, then I fell through the ice in Rhigh, trying to get to the city’s gate. That’s the last time I had the name-cord. Aren saved me. He brought me back to the palace.

And stripped me out of my wet clothes. He must have found it then.

“You’ve had it all this time?” I look up, suddenly angry. “Were you waiting for the right moment to throw it in my face?”

“If I wasn’t here, you’d be with him,” he says. The words sound more like a question than an accusation, but I take them as the latter.

“No, I wouldn’t,” I say, taking a step toward him. “If you weren’t here, I’d be dead. If you weren’t here, I’d still be blind and working for a king who cared only about staying in power. Years would pass, and Kyol would keep pushing me aside anytime our ‘relationship’ became too real for him.”

“But if I died—”

“I still ”—I emphasize the word with a fist to his chest—“wouldn’t be with him. I can’t. I would always wonder if the life-bond manipulated my feelings for him.”

He catches my hand against his chest. Kyol’s name-cord digs into my palm.

“But if you weren’t so stubborn,” he says softly, “you could make it work. Even with the life-bond.”

“I want to make it work with you,” I tell him. “Even with the life-bond.”

“McKenzie.” The word sounds more like a sigh than my name. I lift my free hand to the side of his face.

“I love you ,” I say. Then I slide my hand behind his neck and feel his resistance melt away.

He initiates the kiss, bending down to slant his mouth across mine. I’m addicted to his scent and his touch, to the way his arms encircle me, pulling me against him, but mostly, I’m just addicted to him . He’s a light in all this darkness. He’s strong and caring, and he’s sacrificed so much for Lena and the Realm. He makes me happy, and I want so much to make him happy, too.

His tongue flicks across mine, and I draw him closer.

“McKenzie,” he murmurs as he trails kisses along my jaw. When he nips my ear, lightning explodes through me, sending tendrils of pleasure through my scalp and down my neck. I stuff the name-cord into my pocket, then trail my hands up his chest. He’s not wearing jaedric . His muscles are firm and chiseled beneath my palms.

“I want you,” I whisper, and he murmurs something indecipherable into my ear.

Chaos lusters flash across my skin. They’re becoming so frenzied, they’re skipping to his mouth and hands, anywhere and everywhere our bodies touch.

I tug on Aren’s arm to pull him . . . I don’t know where. I draw in a breath, trying to figure out where we are, trying to think. Trying not to think. The corridor we’re in is empty. It might not stay that way for long. Someone could interrupt us any second.

“Aren.” I tug again.

He’s not budging. His hands are locked on my arms, holding me in place as he takes my mouth again, and that’s when I realize something’s . . . not wrong, exactly. It’s just not completely right.

It takes another long, languorous kiss to identify the problem. Aren’s not completely into this. Oh, he’s kissing me. He’s kissing me, and I’m kissing him, and it’s hot and delicious, but he’s holding back, not willing to cross the line with me.

I want to eradicate that line. I want to obliterate it, rip it into pieces, then burn all the frayed ends to ash. This is the same damn line I’ve treaded for a decade.

My hands move back to Aren’s chest, not to admire his body, but to push him away. When I manage to get a few inches of space between us, I say, “I don’t want your half-assed kisses.”

He looks completely disoriented for a moment. He leans back toward me, almost as if he’s starved for me, but then, after a slow, deep breath, he seems to pull himself together again.

“Half-assed?” he asks, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “I promise those were some of my very best kisses.”

He’s dismissing my words with a quip and hiding his feelings behind that relaxed, cocky smile. I know why he’s doing it—it’s his way of protecting himself—but it still hurts. And it still pisses me off.

“Three days, Aren,” I say.

He lifts an eyebrow. “Three days?”

“Yes,” I force myself to say. “That’s how long you have to pull your head out of your ass. Then we really are over.”

Part of me can’t believe I’m saying this. I can’t believe I’m giving someone I love so much so little time to choose me, but I won’t wait for him like I waited for Kyol. I’m stronger now than I was then.

An eternity passes in the span of a heartbeat. Then Aren lets the few inches between us grow to a foot, to two feet.

“Good,” he says finally. He gives me a nod, then shoves his hands into his pockets and leaves.

GOOD.

Good?

I repeat the word over and over as I climb the staircase to the ground floor of the palace. Aren is glad I’m giving him an ultimatum. And, of course, he is. If three days pass, and I’m strong enough to stay away from him, then he doesn’t have to be strong enough to stay away from me. He’s already proven he’s weak on that front. Nearly every time we’ve been together, his will has broken. He’s taken me into his arms.

I could ignore my own ultimatum. I could pressure him more, attempt some sort of seduction, but throwing myself at him is too sad and pathetic. I’m not one of those girls who can’t live without the guy she’s in love with. Even when I wanted Kyol, I tried to have a life separate from him. I went to college, Paige set me up on a few dates, and every once in a while, I went out to the movies, the mall, and sometimes to a bar. I was okay without him, and I know I can survive a heartbreak now; I just don’t want to have to.

Good? God, Aren is such a coward, either for not trying to work through the life-bond issue or for not telling me the truth about what’s going on. I’m not going to wait around for him to grow a backbone. I’ll find answers myself, and I know exactly where to start asking questions.

Lena’s apartments are on the third floor. Hison is a long-winded fae, and I have no doubt he’ll still be there meeting with her, so I walk quickly through the governing wing of the palace and enter an ornate corridor. Magically lit orbs are set into silver sconces, and the blue-white light they cast highlight the carvings on the walls and ceiling. I receive a few questioning glances from the fae I pass—mostly aides to the high nobles, whose offices are also here—but no one asks where I’m heading. I might have disappeared for three weeks, but my reputation didn’t diminish at all. They know who I am, and they know I’m Lena’s ally.