N. Walters: Quinn's Quest

“I see what’s there.” She put her hands on his cheeks, willing him to really listen to her, really hear what she was saying. “From the moment we met, I felt something for you. Call it instinct. Call it whatever you want. We have a connection. Our wolves recognized one another instantly.”

Quinn nodded. “The second I saw you I wanted to throw you over my shoulder, drag you upstairs, strip you naked and never let you go.” His eyes were hot, filled with passion. “Lucky for you, I let you talk first.”

She laughed and couldn’t stop. She laughed so hard tears ran from the corners of her eyes. Totally disgruntled, Quinn rolled off her and lay beside her, his head propped up on his hand. “You really know how to kill a guy’s ego.”

She shook her head and took a deep breath, swiping at the tears in her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Yeah, you waited a long time to get me into bed. Hours at least.”

He grinned. “What can I say? I’m a focused guy when I find something I want.” His grin faded and his blue eyes grew serious. “And I do want you.”

He rested his free hand on her stomach. “When I felt your terror, my heart stopped. I knew you were under attack and I couldn’t stop it.”

“How? How did you know?”

“The connection between us is strong. Even though you didn’t use our mental link to speak to me, your emotions came through loud and clear.” He slipped his hand beneath the hem of her shirt, as though needing to feel the warmth of her skin.

“I thought I’d lost you.” The words were dragged from him. His voice sounded rusty as emotion threatened to choke him.

“Oh, Quinn. The only way you’ll lose me is if you walk away from me.” She paused and dived in headfirst, laying her heart on the line. She prayed he didn’t destroy it. “I love you.”

Quinn couldn’t believe his ears. This beautiful, courageous, giving woman loved him. It couldn’t be true. But the soft gaze in her eyes and her warm hand on his cheek told another story.

He buried his face against the curve of her neck, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She was everything he hadn’t even known he wanted until he’d met her. For him, she was perfect.

He didn’t deserve her and he said as much aloud.

“Why not?” Her voice was filled with compassion.

He spilled the secret fear that had been killing him slowly, poisoning his soul day after day. “How can we be together? How can I be happy when my sister is being held captive? Tortured? I don’t deserve it. Not until she’s rescued. Maybe not even then. I let her down.”

It was all out in the open now. All the venom in his soul had been unleashed. He felt unworthy to be loved by Bethany. Why should he be granted love when there were so many other males who were alone? Males who were more deserving.

“Oh, Quinn.” She held him in her arms, resting her cheek against his heart. It was where he always wanted her to be. The sex between them was off the charts, but it was these quiet moments that he loved, the connection that existed between them on so many levels.

“Do you think Chrissten would want you to be unhappy?” Bethany didn’t give him time to answer. “I didn’t know her for long, but I know she loves you and Craig more than anything. She wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. If anything, she probably feels guilty about being kidnapped. She knows you’ll keep looking for her until you find her. That’s loyalty. That’s love.”

Her words were a balm to his tattered soul.

“I have nightmares.” He blurted out the words before he could stop himself. He’d never told anyone about his dreams.

“About what?” Her voice, like her touch, was so soft and gentle.

“About killing. Blood. Death. My sister. Christ—” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I have flashbacks sometimes, too, to events that actually happened. I’ve done things I’m not proud of.” He lowered his hand and looked at her. “Bethany, I’m totally screwed up.”

Her hazel eyes with their flecks of brown held such compassion it made his heart ache. “I’m screwed up too. I know I haven’t really dealt with the kidnapping. There hasn’t been time. And I’m still freaked out about the whole werewolf thing.”

“You’re amazing.” He dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “Incredible, actually. Not only did you escape—”

“With Chrissten’s help,” she reminded him.

“You got away,” he asserted. “You’ve done what you can to help us find my sister and all while dealing with some pretty heavy shit.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” She shrugged off his praise. “I didn’t do anything special. Anyone in my shoes would have done the same thing. I did what I had to do to survive.”

Bethany placed her palm against his cheek and he soaked in the warmth of her touch. “I know you’re not going to stop looking for her. I wouldn’t want you to. We have to find her and we will. But don’t you think we’ll be stronger together than apart?”

Quinn rolled until she was beneath him again. He rested his weight on his forearms, ignoring the slight sting from the gash on his upper arm. Bethany’s hair was still damp as it spread across the pillow. Her body cradled his. Her eyes were soft with love, her lips slightly parted. He’d never seen her look so beautiful.

Could he take a chance? Could he believe what she was saying? Could she accept the flawed man he was? Did he deserve her love?

“Yes.”

The word was softly spoken in his head. She’d let down her guard and opened herself to him. He hadn’t realized she’d lowered the mental door between them and he’d broadcasted his fears to her. He’d have to watch that in the future.

The future.

Those two words sounded good. A future. One with Bethany by his side and Chrissten home safe and sound.

“I don’t have a home to offer you. I’ve moved around a lot. I don’t even know where home is anymore.” He’d traveled so much with the bounty hunters, never laying down roots. Before that, he and his siblings had lived in a series of cheap apartments. They’d been thinking about pooling their resources and buying a house together when Chrissten had been kidnapped. Right now all their personal belongings were in storage, waiting for a time when they might have a home once again.

“Home is wherever you are, Quinn. Wherever we are.” His heart stilled and swelled at her acceptance of him and his situation. “We’ll find Chrissten. And when we do, the four of us—you, me, Chrissten and Craig—will decide where we want to live. We’ll find a house and make it a home. Maybe it will be here in Chicago. Maybe not. Time will tell.”

God, he loved this woman. She’d come into his life so suddenly. A gift. A hope for the future.

He’d be a fool not to grab onto her with both hands. And he liked to think he was anything but a fool even though he’d been acting like one. He learned from his mistakes and he’d almost made the biggest one of his life. He’d almost let Bethany go. “I love you.”

Her eyes widened and tears filled them.

“Shit. I never said that to make you cry. That’s supposed to make you happy.”

She gave a soggy laugh and swiped at her eyes. “They’re happy tears.”

“Yeah.” He leaned down and licked several of the salty tears away.

“Yeah.” She looped her arms around his neck.

He nudged her thighs open with his and reached between them, angling his erection at the opening to her sex. The silky fabric of her panties presented little barrier, not when he was determined to have her. He ripped away the flimsy material. Being able to manifest a sharp claw on command had its uses.

She was soft and wet and warm. She always was. He’d come to depend on her unconditional acceptance, her welcome.