N. Walters - Finding Chrissten

She worried about Hank and how fighting this battle might affect him. She’d talked to Meredith about his time in the military and learned as much as she could about that time in his life. It helped her gain a more complete picture of the man she already knew so well.

Hank was a man who valued control and simplicity and she certainly hadn’t brought any of that into his life. Sure, they connected physically, but she couldn’t blame him for not wanting her permanently in his life. Not with the chaos she’d brought with her.

And she had emotional baggage. A full set and then some.

But oh how she’d hoped. For what, she wasn’t even sure. But somewhere deep inside her she was still the same woman who’d dreamed of having a family of her own, a mate who’d love her and put her first. Always. Instead, she’d gotten Brian.

A shudder shook her entire frame and she tightened her arms around her knees, trying to draw strength and warmth but the cold still permeated through her.

“Chrissten?”

She jumped out of the chair. Her feet tangled in the blanket and she almost took a header. She quickly righted herself, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep up her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone. I’m sure you don’t need me around as a reminder of what you’ve been through.” She hurried toward the door. She had to get out of here before she did something stupid, like burst into tears.

“Wait.” His voice was hoarse, the tone urgent.

She almost didn’t stop. She couldn’t deal with his rejection. Not now. Maybe when she was stronger. But the sound of rustling blankets had her whirling around.

The idiot was trying to sit up. The covers had slipped to pool at his waist. One of his cuts, an extremely deep one, broke open and started to bleed again. She hurried to the bed and put her hand on his bare chest. “What are you doing? Lie down before you have all your gashes bleeding.”

“You have to know I’m not sorry for killing Brian. I’ll kill anyone who threatens you.” His expression was fierce, his eyes a reddish glow. He was very close to changing. “I should be strong enough to let you go. But I’m not. I’m selfish.” She should have been scared to death of this fierce, growling male. Instead a sense of contentment welled up inside her.

“But you can’t want a reminder of the violence, of the killing. You put that behind you when you left the military.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you know about that?”

She stroked her fingers over his chest, unable to resist the broad expanse of flesh and muscles. Already the cut he’d ripped open had started to close again. She was so grateful for his ability to heal swiftly. Another day or two, at most, and he’d be back in top form.

“Not much. Meredith told me a little because I wouldn’t stop bugging her.” She’d wanted to know everything about Hank, but she shouldn’t have pried. “I’m sorry for that, but I was concerned about how all this violence might affect you.”

Hank grabbed her hand and tugged her down until she was sitting on the side of the bed. “I’m proud of the way I served my county. I don’t regret a single thing I did. But that’s behind me now. This pack is my family. I’ll protect all of them with everything I have.”

Of course he would. She’d known Hank was loyal and courageous. But her heart sank a little at being lumped in with the rest of the pack. She’d hoped she was special to him. Wishful thinking. What did she have to offer him? She was homeless, jobless and had a lot of emotional stuff to work through. In short, her life was a mess.

“But you.” He rubbed her fingers, sending little shivers of pleasure rushing up her arm. “You’re everything to me.”

Her heart stopped beating for a split second and then took off like a runaway train. “What are you saying?” She was almost afraid to speak, to breathe.

“I’m saying that I want you. Think about it. I won’t rush you. I know you’ve been through a lot. Maybe you’ll never be able to trust a male again. But if you can, I want to be that man. We’re both half-breeds. We understand what it’s like to walk with a foot in both worlds. I’ll protect you. Always.”

Not exactly the words she was hoping to hear, but close enough to give her hope. She loved Hank. She’d had some long, dark hours sitting by his bedside while he’d labored for breath as his punctured lung healed and the multitude of gashes on his body began to close. She loved him. When Brian had attacked him that final time she’d known. When she’d thought Hank was going to die her entire being had rebelled against it.

“Think about it,” he whispered. “In the meantime, come and rest.” He shoved back the covers and patted the mattress beside him.

Chrissten glanced at the door and back at the bed as she toed off her canvas sneakers. She wanted to be with him, to lie next to his big warm body and listen to the sound of his heartbeat.

Hank’s expression didn’t change. She sighed, knowing she might be making a huge mistake if her brothers came looking for her but knowing there was nothing else she could do.

She knew both her brothers would tell her it was much too soon for her to even think about getting into a relationship with another wolf, that she needed time to recover from her ordeal. They’d want her to themselves for a while and wouldn’t want to share her with another male.

She’d given herself all the same arguments in the long hours she’d sat next to Hank’s bed, but none of them mattered. Her heart didn’t think it was too soon. She’d deal with Quinn and Craig when the time came.

For now, she wanted to lie beside Hank and celebrate the fact they were both alive. He was still healing and she was totally exhausted from worry. They both needed rest.

He drew her into his arms and she used his shoulder for a pillow. “Am I hurting you?” That was the last thing she wanted to do.

“No, baby, you’re not hurting me.” He ran his fingers through her hair and let out a deep sigh of contentment.

She rested her hand over his heart, feeling the steady thud against her palm. It was a strong reminder they were both alive and on the road to recovery.

“Sleep,” he told her.

As much as she wanted to stay awake and talk, exhaustion weighed her down. She hadn’t slept much last night when they got home or today for that matter. A short nap wouldn’t hurt.

As she was drifting off to sleep, she thought he whispered to her but she couldn’t make out the words. She waited for him to say something else but he was quiet. She sighed and let sleep claim her.

Chrissten came awake to the feel of a man’s hands on her, and not just any man, but Hank. She blinked and could make out the pale light pouring in through the window. They’d slept through the rest of yesterday and all night long.

She turned her head on the pillow and was pleased to find it no longer hurt when she moved. In fact, she felt good. Better than good. And sometime while she’d been sleeping Hank must have removed her jeans and socks, leaving her clad only in her panties and top. She must have been totally out it not to remember that.

He was staring at her, his pale blue eyes shining in the morning light. “How are you feeling?”

She curled her toes and tugged the blankets closer around her. She was warm and content and her head no longer ached. “Good. You?”

“Much better.” His voice was a sleepy rumble that vibrated through her. He continued to rub his hand up and down her spine. She arched into it like a drowsy cat. His touch was soothing. Healing.

She pushed back slightly so she could study his chest. The thick cuts were mostly healed and the rest were nothing but scars. They were reddish in color, but she knew within a week they’d fade to almost nothing. In a couple of months they’d mostly disappear. He might have a few reminders of the ordeal they’d been through, but nothing too bad.