N. Walters - Finding Chrissten

He left the mostly boarded-up house and hit the streets. He had a mate to find.

Chrissten was tired of being in bed. It had been three days since she’d shared that memorable kiss with Hank and she hadn’t been alone for one second of that time. Not that she was complaining. She was coming to know and like all the members of the Haven pack. But she freely admitted that some of the males made her nervous.

She was fine with Quinn and Craig, of course. They were her brothers and she loved and trusted them both. She’d been shocked and a little jealous to discover Bethany and her brother were mated.

What must it be like to be with a male of your choosing, someone you loved and respected? Not with someone who treated you like nothing more than a body to be used at their convenience. Chrissten wasn’t sure she’d ever find out. Her mistrust of werewolf males was ingrained deeply within her after her ordeal but she was working to get past it.

She liked Meredith. It was impossible not to. She was both beautiful and gracious, not to mention strong-willed. Chrissten admired Meredith’s poise and self-confidence. The older woman was currently seated in a comfortable brown leather chair that had been moved into the room a few days ago.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Meredith sipped her cup of coffee. She had a plate with a club sandwich and home fries balanced on her lap. Teague had made them lunch. Chrissten had quickly realized he was the male in charge of the kitchen. She liked the fact the women weren’t expected to handle that chore simple because of their gender.

He’d served her a rich chicken noodle soup with several slabs of fresh whole wheat bread. For dessert he’d sent along a hunk of chocolate cake. Teague did know the way to a woman’s heart. But that male had a woman. He and Neema were very much in love, which made it easier for her to be around him.

There seemed to be love all around them. While it was wonderful to see, it was also a sharp reminder of what she didn’t have in her own life. Meredith’s mate was intimidating as hell. Isaiah Striker frightened her with his intensity and the sense that he was barely keeping his animalistic side in check. He reminded her too much of Brian.

But his saving grace was his love for his mate. It was evident with every action he took, every word he spoke, that the safety and happiness of Meredith and the rest of them were his priority.

“Chrissten?”

She realized she’d been ignoring, Meredith. “Sorry.” She spooned up some of the soup and let the flavor explode on her tongue. “This is good.”

“Yes, it is,” Meredith, agreed. “And you’re ignoring what I said to you.”

Chrissten set her spoon down on the tray in her lap. “No, I’m not ignoring it. I’m just trying to avoid thinking about it for a bit longer.” She and Meredith had talked several times over the past few days. The alpha female was a font of information and comfort. Chrissten had quickly gotten the impression that Meredith mothered everyone in her pack and had extended that to include Quinn, Craig and her.

“Oh, honey.” Meredith leaned forward and placed her hand on Chrissten’s arm. “I understand. Truly I do. My first mate caught me away from the pack when I went into heat. I fought him but eventually gave in. I know how powerful the biology is.”

“I didn’t give in. Not at first. I fought until I was bloody and beaten. But when—” Chrissten took a deep breath, fighting past the tightness in her chest. God, she hated to think about it, let alone talk about it with someone. But Meredith was not only a good listener, she was also a female werewolf. If anyone would understand, she would. “But when he finally came inside me it felt good.” That shamed her more than anything else to say the words out loud. That she’d found some pleasure in the act.

“Chrissten, look at me.” She raised her gaze to meet Meredith’s fierce one. “There was nothing you could have done to avoid what happened to you. It’s biology plain and simple. You were held captive, you were in heat and there was a male werewolf pressuring you to mate. That first time is like no other. Believe me, I know. Your wolf wants out and will do anything to accomplish that.”

“The bitch,” Chrissten quipped, surprising a laugh from Meredith.

“In some ways.” She sat back, took a bite of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. “Having intercourse with a male is designed to alleviate the mating heat. That in and of itself would have brought you a measure of pleasure and relief. But you’re more than your wolf side, more than your instincts. We have a human form too. That side of your personality would be even stronger in a half-breed like you. That’s the part of you currently battling with this sense of shame.”

“You didn’t feel that way when your first mate took you.”

Meredith shook her head. “I was more angry with what he’d done. But I also hadn’t been held captive, experimented on or beaten to within an inch of my life. I’d been raised to expect to mate with a male when I came of age, but I’d expected to have my choice of eligible males from my pack.”

Chrissten couldn’t imagine being raised to expect to mate with a guy just because your body’s biology dictated it was time. Yet, it had happened to her. But she hadn’t had any choice in the matter. It had been forced upon her.

“Rest, eat and get stronger. No one expects you to recover from such a long ordeal overnight. You have to give yourself a break.”

Chrissten knew Meredith was right, but it was hard not to fall into dark thoughts, especially because Hank hadn’t been around for the past few days. Get real , she scolded herself. Why should he want to be around her? She was mated to another werewolf. Their tender moment together was nothing more than an aberration brought on by proximity and his kindness. That made her wince. She wasn’t anyone’s charity case. She didn’t need a pity kiss.

Right on cue, her lips began to tingle.

“I want to thank all of you for looking out for me, but you don’t need to spend all your time here. I sleep alone at night and I’m fine.”

Meredith set her plate on the nightstand and took a sip of her coffee. The scent of the rich brew mixed with the richness of the chocolate and made Chrissten’s mouth water. She couldn’t wait to try the cake.

“You haven’t been alone. Hank’s slept in here every night.”

She’d scented him, of course, but she’d written it off to the fact she was in his room and his bed. “Why haven’t I seen him?”

Meredith frowned. “I don’t know, but I know he’s been here. If not in the room with you than just outside the door.

Like a sentinel watching over her. Her heart swelled at the thought, but she beat back those sentimental feelings. He was doing the same thing the rest of them were. No more, no less. Of course, none of the rest of the males had kissed her.

“If you’re uncomfortable with Hank I can get someone else to sleep here at night.”

“No. No, that’s fine.” She wanted him near her. God, she was losing it. Meredith watched her closely and Chrissten didn’t want the other woman to guess at the attraction she felt for Hank. “I think I’ll take a shower after I have my cake. I want to get out of bed and wear real clothes.” She’d been wearing nightgowns for several days. Before that it had been the loose cotton clothing her captors gave her to wear. She wanted to feel normal again.

Meredith’s eyes twinkled. “I think that can be arranged. I know for a fact that your brothers have a surprise for you today. One I think you’ll like.”

“What is it?” A sense of anticipation raced through her.