Deborah Harkness - A Discovery of Witches

“Witches don’t boil bats!” I said indignantly.

“The point remains.”

“Were you alone?” I asked.

Matthew waited a long time before answering. “No.”

“I wasn’t alone in Oxford either,” I began. “The creatures—”

“Miriam told me.” His hands tightened on the wheel. “If I’d known that the witch bothering you was Peter Knox, I’d never have left Oxford.”

“You were right,” I blurted, needing to make my own confession before tackling the subject of Knox. “I’ve never kept the magic out of my life. I’ve been using it in my work, without realizing it. It’s in everything. I’ve been fooling myself for years.” The words tumbled from my mouth. Matthew remained focused on the traffic. “I’m frightened.”

His cold hand touched my knee. “I know.”

“What am I going to do?” I whispered.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said calmly, turning in to the Old Lodge’s gates. He scrutinized my face as we crested the rise and pulled in to the circular drive. “You’re tired. Can you manage yoga?”

I nodded.

Matthew got out of the car and opened the door for me. This time he didn’t help me out. Instead he fished around in the trunk, pulled out our mats, and shouldered both of them himself. Other members of the class filtered by, casting curious looks in our direction.

He waited until we were the only ones on the drive. Matthew looked down at me, wrestling with himself over something. I frowned, my head tilted back to meet his eyes. I’d just confessed to engaging in magic without realizing it. What was so awful that he couldn’t tell me?

“I was in Scotland with an old friend, Hamish Osborne,” he finally said.

“The man the newspapers want to run for Parliament so he can be chancellor of the exchequer?” I said in amazement.

“Hamish will not be running for Parliament,” Matthew said drily, adjusting the strap of his yoga bag with a twitch.

“So he is gay!” I said, thinking back to a recent late-night news program. Matthew gave me a withering glance. “Yes. More important, he’s a daemon.” I didn’t know much about the world of creatures, but participating in human politics or religion was also forbidden.

“Oh. Finance is an odd career choice for a daemon.” I thought for a moment. “It explains why he’s so good at figuring out what to do with all that money, though.”

“He is good at figuring things out.” The silence stretched on, and Matthew made no move for the door. “I needed to get away and hunt.”

I gave him a confused look.

“You left your sweater in my car,” he said, as if that were an explanation.

“Miriam gave it back to me already.”

“I know. I couldn’t hold on to it. Do you understand why?”

When I shook my head, he sighed and then swore in French.

“My car was full of your scent, Diana. I needed to leave Oxford.”

“I still don’t understand,” I admitted.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He raked his hand through his hair and looked down the drive.

My heart was beating irregularly, and the reduced blood flow slowed my mental processes. Finally, though, I understood.

“You’re not afraid you would hurt me?” I had a healthy fear of vampires, but Matthew seemed different.

“I can’t be sure.” His eyes were wary, and his voice held a warning.

“So you didn’t go because of what happened Friday night.” My breath released in sudden relief.

“No,” he said gently, “it had nothing to do with that.”

“Are you two coming in, or are you going to practice out here on the drive?” Amira called from the doorway.

We went in to class, occasionally glancing at each other when one of us thought the other wasn’t looking. Our first honest exchange of information had altered things. We were both trying to figure out what was going to happen next.

After class ended, when Matthew swung his sweater over his head, something shining and silver caught my eye. The object was tied around his neck on a thin leather cord. It was what he kept touching through his sweater, over and over, like a talisman.

“What’s that?” I pointed.

“A reminder,” Matthew said shortly.

“Of what?”

“The destructive power of anger.”

Peter Knox had warned me to be careful around Matthew.

“Is it a pilgrim’s badge?” The shape reminded me of one in the British Museum. It looked ancient.

He nodded and pulled the badge out by the cord. It swung freely, glinting as the light struck it. “It’s an ampulla from Bethany.” It was shaped like a coffin and just big enough to hold a few drops of holy water.

“Lazarus,” I said faintly, eyeing the coffin. Bethany was where Christ had resurrected Lazarus from the dead. And though raised a pagan, I knew why Christians went on pilgrimage. They did it to atone for their sins.

Matthew slid the ampulla back into his sweater, concealing it from the eyes of the creatures who were still filing out of the room.

We said good-bye to Amira and stood outside the Old Lodge in the crisp autumn air. It was dark, despite the floodlights that bathed the bricks of the house.

“Do you feel better?” Matthew asked, breaking into my thoughts. I nodded. “Then tell me what’s happened.”

“It’s the manuscript. Knox wants it. Agatha Wilson—the creature I met in Blackwell’s—said the daemons want it. You want it, too. But Ashmole 782 is under a spell.”

“I know,” he said again.

A white owl swooped down in front of us, its wings beating the air. I flinched and lifted my arms to protect myself, convinced it was going to strike me with its beak and talons. But then the owl lost interest and soared up into the oak trees along the drive.

My heart was pounding, and a sudden rush of panic swept up from my feet. Without any warning, Matthew pulled open the back door of the Jaguar and pushed me into the seat. “Keep your head down and breathe,” he said, crouching on the gravel with his fingers resting on my knees. The bile rose—there was nothing in my stomach but water—and crawled up my throat, choking me. I covered my mouth with my hand and retched convulsively. He reached over and tucked a wayward piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers cool and soothing.

“You’re safe,” he said.

“I’m so sorry.” My shaking hand passed across my mouth as the nausea subsided. “The panic started last night after I saw Knox.”

“Do you want to walk a bit?”

“No,” I said hastily. The park seemed overly large and very black, and my legs felt like they were made of rubber bands.

Matthew inspected me with his keen eyes. “I’m taking you home. The rest of this conversation can wait.”

He pulled me up from the backseat and held my hand loosely until he had me settled in the front of the car. I closed my eyes while he climbed in. We sat for a moment in silence, and then Matthew turned the key in the ignition. The Jaguar quickly sprang to life.

“Does this happen often?” he asked, his voice neutral.

“No, thank God,” I said. “It happened a lot when I was a child, but it’s much better now. It’s just an excess of adrenaline.” Matthew’s glance settled on my hands as I pushed my hair from my face.

“I know,” he said yet again, disengaging the parking brake and pulling out onto the drive.

“Can you smell it?”

He nodded. “It’s been building up in you since you told me you were using magic. Is this why you exercise so much—the running, the rowing, the yoga?”

“I don’t like taking drugs. They make me feel fuzzy.”

“The exercise is probably more effective anyway.”

“It hasn’t done the trick this time,” I murmured, thinking of my recently electrified hands.