Charles Sheffield: Convergence

“Sounds more than likely. Miranda’s not the place for me and At, any more than Sentinel Gate.”

“Or for me.” Glenna spun around in her chair to face him. She stood up and grabbed his hands. “Louis — take me with you. Wherever you’re going, I want to go.”

“What!” Nenda’s defenses came up automatically. “Sorry. Can’t do that.”

“You like me, I know you do. Why don’t you want me with you?”

“I do like you.” Nenda hadn’t intended to say that. He was baffled by his own surge of feelings. “I like you, sure I do. But it’s — well, it’s — I dunno. It’s not that simple. I have to say no.”

“Is it that you are ashamed that you come from a crude, barbaric part of the spiral arm, and you know that educated people from any decent place will look down on you?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Is it because you have a funny accent, so that civilized persons laugh when they hear you?”

“Never occurred to me. I think I sound fine.”

“Is it because you know you’re little and dark and ugly, and I’m tall and blond and beautiful?”

“Naw. But don’t stop. You’re doin’ wonders for my self-esteem.”

“Because, you see, if it’s any of those things I don’t care about them at all.”

“It’s none of them.”

“So what is it?” Glenna struck a pose, hand set on rounded hip. “Don’t you find me attractive?”

“I think you’re the sexiest thing on two legs. Or four.” Louis saw her eyes widen, and added hastily, “Not that I’ve tried that, of course. But you don’t know what I’m like, Glenna.”

“So tell me.”

“I’ve led a hard life.”

“And you haven’t let it break your spirit. I admire you for that.”

“Not an honest life.”

“Who is honest? We all tell lies.”

“Mebbe. But Glenna, I’m a crook , for God’s sake.”

“And I’m a tramp. Ask anyone on Sentinel Gate, male or female, they’ll tell you. We make a fine pair, Louis.”

“No. You still don’t get it. Glenna, I’ve killed men.”

“And I’ve done my best to — the hard way. You know that, if anyone does.” She moved closer. Her eyes glowed, and she looked ready to eat him. Her hands reached out to touch his chest. “But there’s more to it than you think. Louis, you don’t understand something, and you may find it hard to believe me when I say it. But cross my heart, it’s true. I can’t bear the idea of leaving you and going back to Sentinel Gate. My life was easy and safe there, but it wasn’t exciting . It was deadly dull. I’m no great brain, like Professor Lang. I sometimes hate her for being so good at what she does, but I admire her, too. My job had a nice title, Senior Information Specialist. You know what I did? I moved information I didn’t care about from one data storage unit I didn’t care about to another like it. You know the biggest thrill I had, all the years I worked there?”

“Meeting Quintus Bloom.”

“No. Well, yes and no. My big thrill was meeting some man from off-planet, like you or Bloom, and doing my best to hustle him into bed before he left Sentinel Gate. I didn’t care what he looked like, or whether he seemed nice or not, provided he was an off-worlder. I didn’t have to get off on it myself, or even enjoy it. The whole challenge was to bed him. I would sleep with anyone . I would have slept with Quintus Bloom, though I bet that under his clothes he was wall-to-wall scabs. There. Now I’ve upset you.”

“Let’s say you don’t make me feel too singled out for special privileges.”

“But you are . That’s what I’m trying to say. Even if you make me go back to Sentinel Gate, I can’t be the way I was before. You’ve changed me, Louis. You are an absolutely wonderful lover, but that’s only a little bit of what attracts me to you. You live an exciting life. Being with you is fun . You’re brave, you’re wild, you take risks, you grab enjoyment wherever you find it. You never complain about anything. People on Sentinel Gate make more fuss over a paper cut than you would if you lost an arm.” She moved her body against his. “Louis, take me with you. Please.”

“You’d get tired of me in a week.”

“There’s only one way to find out. I’m betting it’s not true.”

“But what will you do? Can you cook, or make clothes, or clean house?”

“Let’s not get ridiculous. I have my talents. You know some of them already. But Louis, you’re not being honest with me. I can see it in your eyes. There’s something else. Why won’t you let me be your woman, and go with you wherever you go? Is it some body else — that other woman?”

“There’s no other woman. And it’s not because I don’t want you. It’s Atvar H’sial. She’ll be sure to say no.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“No! Don’t even think of that. Better let me do it.”

“You would do that? For me?” Glenna gave him a hug and a kiss that scrambled his cerebral cortex worse than a trip through a Builder vortex.

“I’ll try.”

“Wonderful!”

“But I know Atvar H’sial. She’ll ask a price. She may even want you to go on working with her on human speech.”

“I don’t mind that. It’s fun , not work.”

Glenna’s hands slid down his body. She was all set to steal second base, but Louis pushed her away. “Let me get this over with first. I’ll go and talk to Atvar H’sial.” He swallowed and stared at Glenna’s peek-a-boo pink slip. “Then I’ll come right back.”

“I’ll not move from this spot until you return.”

Where had he heard that before? From Atvar H’sial, no less. Louis’s pulse was racing as he escaped from Glenna’s bedroom and headed aft. His mind was as furiously active as his hormones.

Atvar H’sial was going to owe him, big-time. That was great, especially when he didn’t deserve the debt. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold . It was a long time since Atvar H’sial had snoozed and made Louis do all the work, when they had first escaped Genizee and were lost in the Anfract; but the memory was still strong.

And they had their Zardalu, worth a guaranteed fortune on Miranda. Plus Kallik, his very own favorite Hymenopt, back once more in Louis’s possession. For the first time in years no one in the spiral arm was after his blood, or trying to arrest him. The most exciting woman he had ever met in his whole life wanted him and liked him as much as he wanted and liked her.

Louis halted, leaned against a bulkhead, and concentrated his thoughts. It was too much, too good to be true. He needed to discover the hidden snare, the cruel trap that would turn all the wonders to horrors. It was sure to be there, it always was, but where was it? He felt baffled. Maybe he was being dim or naive, but he could not see a single cloud on the horizon.

Finally he sighed and gave up.

Happy endings were for children’s stories and fools. You live in misery, and then you die . Life, by definition, was not designed to end happily.

Louis continued aft. No happy ending, then. That was a fact, certain as death itself. He was living at the moment in a dream, an imagined world where everything went right.

But — dreams are real while they last. Could you say more of life?

A dream sequence was no more than a happy interlude, but maybe a happy interlude could last for an awful long time.

Louis approached the waiting Atvar H’sial. He was going to stretch this one for as long as he could.