Thorarinn Gunnarsson - Battle of the Ring

“You are now the fastest ship in known space,” Velmeran observed. “How do you feel?”

“Very much the same as always, although I will not be able to tell anything until I get out and run under my power. But I do feel very new. Very young, you might say. I had forgotten how it feels to have all your systems working perfectly and without complaint. I felt very strange when we powered up the jump drive yesterday, like a balloon at the end of a string.”

Velmeran laughed. “You make one very big balloon. Are you worried about testing the jump drive?”

“A little, I have to admit. I cannot forget the story of Quendari Valcyr and how she jumped, never to return. But we will not let that happen.”

She watched quietly as Velmeran ascended the steps to the middle bridge and took the seat at the helm station to inspect the new controls. The actual jump-drive controls occupied a fairly small section of the right-hand side console, as well as a lockout shift lever among the manual controls.

“Would you like to try out your own station?” Valthyrra asked.

“Have they changed it greatly?” he asked, and she moved her camera pod in a negative gesture. “Then it can wait.”

“I thought that you might like to try it on for size,” she suggested, then glanced away as she recalled a painful association. Mayelna had used those very words when she had surrendered her station to him during the attack on the Challenger.

Velmeran reached up and laid one hand gently on one side of her camera pod, a touch that she could feel only in her heart. “What I meant was that I want to wait until we are back out in space before I try out my new chair.”

“I understand. It fits you just fine, I am sure,” she agreed. “But what of you? Are you happy?”

“Yes, I am,” he replied, leaning back in the seat. “That might seem strange, after all the trouble we went through to get me here, but I am. This is my place now. My days as a pack leader seem like years ago, much more than just the six months that we have been here. I actually look forward to going back out to fight again. Union space has been very quiet since Tryalna, but that cannot last much longer. Still, things are going to be very different from how they used to be.”

“That is so,” Valthyrra agreed. “Usually very little seems different after a change in Commanders, just someone new on the upper bridge. But I feel different, and I am not referring to my parts. Another age of my life is gone, and a new one has begun. It is the first time, however, that I have been aware of that change as it happened.”

“I thought you said that you do not feel your age,” Velmeran observed.

“No, not really. I am young again, like I said,” she concurred, and her lenses unfocused slightly as she turned to her deepest memories. “I was born a fighting ship. For my first five thousand years it seemed that I always had a few dents in my nose. Then I was a pirate ship for so long. Now I am a fighting ship again.”

“Do your memories fade in time?” Velmeran asked softly.

“The sense of immediacy fades with the passing of the years, so that there is always a sense of time to my memories. But I can never forget any detail that I do not want to forget.” She paused, and her lenses took on an even more distant look. “The pain of a loss fades, but it is never completely gone. Mayelna was more like me than any who have come along in a very long time. She was a better friend than any I have ever known, and I will always miss her. And I do not want you to ever leave me. I do not think that I could bear that. I love you more than I have ever loved before.”

Velmeran smiled gently, reassuringly. “So many years. So many terrible memories of past hurts.”

“No, those hoarded memories are my dearest possession,” Valthyrra insisted. “Terrible? They are beautiful!”