Руди Рюкер - Master Of Space And Time

"I've only got a few seconds. I've come to tell you how to build the blunzer."

The duck and the river had disappeared now, too. Still in the dream, Harry and I were sitting face to face at a long table. In the space of an instant, I took everything I knew about the blunzer and coded it onto Harry's brain.

:10, read the clock. I snapped back to my body in Harry's workshop. I tried to understand everything I'd just done, but it was too much for me now. I twisted my time line back parallel to the world's. The people in the room with me started moving again.

:09.

Harry felt his throat gingerly, then sat up and grinned up at me. "Thanks, Fletch. I needed that."

:08.

"Oh, Joe," exclaimed Sondra, looking down at her flat body, "it's perfect."

:07.

Seeing Sondra so dull and plain again really bothered me. I could still see into the past, and I feasted my eyes one last time on the way she'd been.

:06.

At the same time I looked over my list again, making sure I hadn't left anything out. I had a feeling there was one more wish I wanted.

:05.

Sondra and Harry didn't realize I'd been out of their time for four minutes. They thought I was just beginning. I could see it in their minds.

:04.

"Don't you have any deep, hidden desires you're going to ask for?" Sondra was saying.

:03.

Suddenly I realized what my real wish was.

:02.

"I WANT TO BE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!" I cried. "I WANT TO LOOK JUST LIKE SONDRA DID."

:01.

The numbers disappeared. My field of vision narrowed back down to what it had been. Something was hanging in front of one of my eyes. I reached up to touch it.

Long, blond hair.

21. Men Are People Too

"What a homo!" exclaimed Harry once again. "I can't believe it."

I ignored him and continued to stare down at my new body. I still had on the same clothes as before. "If you don't mind, Harry, I'd like to go to the bathroom."

"I bet you would. Can I watch?"

"Forget it. I'm happily married."

"Do you know where we can reach Nancy?" Sondra asked.

"She's in a penthouse on top of the Plaza Hotel. Call the operator, it's a new listing. Or just wait a minute. I can tell her myself."

I walked out of the workshop and up the stairs to Harry's apartment. The bathroom was right off his bedroom. I was eager to look myself over in privacy. I was having trouble grasping what I'd done.

As I passed the bedroom window, I looked out to see how the stupid groovers were doing. Still shirtless, most of them, but all their Gary-brains were gone. Thrown back on their own limited mental resources, the zealots didn't seem to have much to say for themselves.

I locked the bathroom door and took all my clothes off. It was a nightmare, a dream come true. I was a woman as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe. I pressed my hands between my legs. My big breasts slid this way and that, jiggling with every motion. My hips and butt stuck out like shelves.

I was horrified, yet of course I was thrilled as well. Whatever regrets my conscious mind may have had, my subconscious was in ecstasy. I got into the shower and soaped myself all over, getting to know my new body.

Someone knocked on the door as I was toweling myself off.

"Who's there?" My voice was sweet and melodious.

"It's Sondra, Joe. Do you want one of my dresses?"

"Yes, thanks. That candy-striped one? And a bra and stockings."

"Unlock the door."

"Okay."

I held the towel up over myself while Sondra brought in her new clothes for me. They fit perfectly. Acting like a friendly sister, she showed me how to put on lipstick and mascara.

My new face didn't look exactly like Sondra's had. Somehow you could vaguely tell that it was still Fletcher.

"I want heels, too," I said, brushing out my long hair. "I might as well do the whole number. And can you give me a little handbag with some money in it?"

"Joe —"

"Call me JoJo."

"JoJo, what are you going to do now?"

"Get the train to New York. I want to look at our new penthouse."

"I called Nancy, JoJo. She's pretty upset."

"Oh, she'll be glad to see me."

"I'm not so sure."

I left Harry's shop soon after — it embarrassed me to try to talk to him while I looked like this — and walked down to the train station. Now that the invasion was over, I figured the passenger trains to New York would be stopping in New Brunswick again.

My heels — shiny red ones — were a little tricky to manipulate, but I found that if I walked slow and swayed a lot it wasn't too hard. The volunteer Herberites in the street seemed pretty disoriented; most of them were drifting back out to the parking lots at the edge of town. The men all stared at me, of course. I was careful not to meet their eyes. This quickly became a real drag — having always to look at the sidewalk or the rooftops — but I certainly didn't want some ugly bristly man to try to pick me up.

This probably takes a little explaining. You'd think that any man who wants to be a woman is basically homosexual. But — at least on the surface — this didn't seem to be true for me. My wanting to look like the blond Sondra was really a heterosexual impulse: the craving for a supreme merging with the object of desire. But what was I going to do now — spend all my time looking in mirrors and taking showers? More and more, I was realizing how badly I'd blown it.

There was quite a crowd of people up on the train station platform, most of them just regular citizens happy to be free of the slugs. The station-master assured me that a train for New York would be stopping in twenty minutes. I sat down on a bench outside the waiting room.

"Hi," said a man, sitting down next to me. He was nicely dressed and had a polite expression. "I'm sure glad those naked brains are gone."

"Me too," I said. "I hope things will go back to normal now. The mutant plants are gone, too, aren't they?"

"That's right. Those guys Fletcher and Gerber are really going to get it."

"Uh…" I tried to cover my confusion. I'd forgotten about that angle. As long as the Garybrains had run New Brunswick, Harry had been safe from the authorities. But now…

"Would you like a cigarette?" He drew out a pack of menthols and offered me one.

"Thanks," I said, accepting the cigarette and a light. His fingers brushed against my hand.

"My name's Brad. I'm a stockbroker in the city."

"I'm JoJo. I–I'm starting a new life."

"You don't have a husband?"

"No, but —"

"I'm surprised someone as gorgeous as you isn't married. Are you a model?" Brad smiled at me, his eyes flickering over my voluptuous curves. "I love your dress."

"Oh, I was in computers." I felt increasingly flustered.

"Brainy, too!" Brad grinned and slapped his face in mock astonishment. "Look, JoJo, I know this is kind of sudden, but I'm going to be leaving the office at five, and if you'd like to have dinner —"

"No, no!" I squeaked. "I couldn't possibly."

"Tomorrow, then?"

Some cigarette smoke went down the wrong way and I went into a coughing fit.

Brad watched, smiling patiently. As far as he was concerned, anything I did was wonderful. "Can I get you some water, JoJo? A Coke?"

"No, I'm afraid I — " I lurched to my feet and gave him a smile. "I have to go."

"Well, all right. Another time, maybe. I'll be looking for you."

Feeling suddenly unsteady on my heels, I teetered into the waiting room. It was three-thirty. Ten more minutes until the train. I went and hid in the ladies' room.

The train, as it turned out, was filled with state troopers. They had come to make sure New Brunswick was really secure. Watching them get out, I realized that one of their first tasks was going to be the raiding of 501 Suydam Street, home of the mad scientist Harry Gerber. For the moment I was glad not to look like Joe Fletcher.