Mick Farren - Last Stand of the DNA Cowboys

'Who?'

The Minstrel Boy got to his feet. He put a hand on the wall to steady himself. 'I don't know. The bastard came right out of the darkness. Like a fucking ninja.'

Reave pushed past him. He seemed more interested in the fallen attacker than in whether the Minstrel Boy was hurt. 'There hasn't been a ninja in two thousand years.'

Reave gingerly picked up the lightslicer and held it out at arm's length, using its crackling radiance to illuminate the body. He let out a low whistle. 'You pretty much got the next best thing.'

The Minstrel Boy straightened up. 'What do you mean?'

'What we've got here looks awfully like an urthugee.'

'You're kidding?'

'If he ain't, he got himself a full darksuit, lightsink panels, and the whole bit. The kali-rouge don't give those away with every major purchase.' He bent down and peeled off the face mask. 'He's got the yellow headband and the facial tattoos. It really looks like he was going to do the full and ancient yuga on your ass.'

The Minstrel Boy shook his head. 'I wasted an urthugee? Me?'

'You're quite the stud, boy.'

'This isn't real.'

Reave laughed. 'We know it was really blind luck, but nobody else needs to.'

The Minstrel Boy was not amused. 'What the hell was an urthugee doing coming after me?'

Reave was kneeling over the body. 'That's something you're going to have to think about.'

'I'm well aware of that.'

'And if there are any more where he came from.'

'I wish you hadn't said that.'

Reave was searching the assassin's clothes. The Minstrel Boy looked a little shocked.

'What are you doing? Robbing the corpse?'

Reave slipped a number of small metal objects into his pocket. 'These boys have all kinds of killer trinkets. Things you've never seen before.'

There was the sound of heavy boots coming quickly up the stairs. Reave glanced quickly at the Minstrel Boy. 'Sounds like the local law. Try and look casual.'

The Minstrel Boy shook his head in despair. 'Sure, casual.'

It turned out to be not only the local law but also Diamenti himself with his two lieutenants, Axel and Heet. Ramilles Diamenti might not have actually been as big as God, but he was majestically huge. He stood more than seven feet tall and must have weighed over three hundred pounds. Despite his size, though, he seemed to be possessed by a burning inner energy and was able to move his bulk with surprising agility. He was a presence. His florid cheeks, framed by graying muttonchop side whiskers, told of profound self-indulgence, but his eyes showed a calculating, dynamic intelligence. Even his clothes were larger than life. His purple robe, trimmed with ermine and wolf pelt, was like a tent built for an emperor. The gold chain with its massive sampling cup was like his badge of office, host general in his own kingdom.

His two lieutenants were equally unmistakable. Somewhere along the line Axel had been extensively rebuilt. Over a third of him was crude prosthetics, with servos and circuitry exposed. Heet scarcely looked human — he was totally hairless, and his skin was a bright daffodil yellow. His bare skull was strangely ridged, and his ears were elongated and pointed at the tips.

As Diamenti and his men marched down the corridor, Reave and the Minstrel Boy all but started like small boys caught red-handed at some guilty endeavour. Diamenti's roar could have chilled blood.

'So what do we have here? Been indulging in a little slaying, have we?'

The Minstrel Boy looked Diamenti in the eye and decided that maybe casual was not such a good idea. Even though he was telling the truth, there was something about Diamenti's gaze that made him feel as if he were lying.

'I know it looks bad, but I was only defending myself. He came out of the dark at me.'

'You know the stiff?'

The Minstrel Boy shook his head. 'No.'

Reave went a little further. 'We know what he is.'

'And what might that be?'

' He was an urthugee

Diamenti's bushy eyebrows shot up. He turned to Heet. 'Is this true?'

Heet quickly examined the body. 'It sure looks like it.'

Diamenti faced his men. 'I don't want word of this running all over the Great Hall, you understand? Keep your mouths shut.'

The keepers nodded. Diamenti quickly ushered Reave and the Minstrel Boy down the corridor. 'Let's go and talk about this in private.'

The Minstrel Boy and Reave returned to the private dining room, followed by Diamenti and Heet. Billy and Renatta looked startled as the big man and his lieutenant came through the door.

'What's going on out there?'

The Minstrel Boy flopped into a chair. 'Someone tried to kill me. I need a drink.' He glanced up at Diamenti. 'Can I ring for a bottle of brandy? I was going for one when that guy jumped me.'

Diamenti gestured to Heet. 'Go get him a bottle. We don't need a steward coming up here right now.'

Renatta actually seemed concerned. 'Who tried to kill you?'

The Minstrel Boy looked at Diamenti again. Their host gave an imperceptible shake of his head. The Minstrel Boy avoided Renatta's eyes. 'It seems like it might have been a hired assassin.'

'What?'

Diamenti ignored Billy and Renatta's questions and addressed himself to the Minstrel Boy. 'So who wants you dead?'

'Nobody. I don't have a beef with anyone anymore. I've been out of circulation since God knows when.'

Renatta stared into her martini. She looked worried. 'I can vouch for that.'

'Where were you?'

'In the Caverns of the Presence.'

Diamenti smiled. 'Living the lotus life?'

'I needed the rest.'

'So why did you leave?'

'I didn't like the way things were going. People were getting jaded and weird, and the Hunters were out. I figured that some kind of cull was about to start.'

Diamenti turned his attention to Billy and Reave. 'Maybe someone wants to stop this little reunion.'

Reave's eyes narrowed. 'What reunion might that be?'

Diamenti grinned. 'Come on. The whole of the Great Hall is talking about it. The DNA Cowboys are back together.'

'We never called ourselves that.'

'We aren't back together.'

'It's pure coincidence.'

'Are you telling me that, right at a point when the wholeDamaged World seems to be on the edge of another round of violence, you three suddenly turn up in the same place at the same time, quite by accident?' It was the Minstrel Boy's argument almost word for word.

'You can believe it or not. It's what happened.'

Diamenti shrugged. 'It doesn't really matter if I believe it or not. Everybody else believes it, and I figure that you're going to have to go along with it.'

He had a point there. General perception was a powerful force. Billy, who had been staring morosely into his drink, suddenly looked up at Diamenti. There was an odd light in his eye. 'Yeah, but do you believe it?'

Diamenti looked at Billy curiously. 'Is it important?'

'You really think that another cycle of violence is coming?'

'Haven't you felt it for yourself?'

Billy's hands made an awkward gesture. 'I've been on a bit of a vacation myself.'

'Then the answer is yes, Billy Oblivion. Yes, there is another round of violence coming. The moods of civilizations change, even in a fragmented civilization like ours. It's the inevitable turnaround, day and night, summer and winter. All we can do is weather it.'

The Minstrel Boy raised a questioning eyebrow. 'Doesn't it seem like this is shaping up to be a particularly hard winter?'

Diamenti nodded. 'It does rather look like that.'

'Maybe we won't weather it.'

Diamenti smiled. 'Maybe we won't. I'm something of a fatalist in these things. After all, there's only one death per customer.'

At that moment Heet returned with a bottle of very good cognac and cut short the philosophy. It must have come from Diamond's private stock. Despite all the trouble they were in, the Minstrel Boy examined it admiringly. 'This is excellent.'