Rudy Rucker - The Ware Tetralogy

Terri knocked on the door with the little brass head of a gnome that hung there. After a while there were light, rapid footsteps and Starshine flung the door open.

“Yaar there!” she sang. Starshine was a talkative woman with straight brown hair, high cheekbones, and a hard chin. Her parents had been Florida crackers, but she’d turned herself into a Clearlight Californian. Seeing Terri and Dolf with Tre, she instantly spotted Tre’s problem. “What all’s happened to your shoulder, Tre?”

“He fell off his bicycle,” said Dolf. “Can you make him well?”

“It hurts a lot here,” said Tre, pointing to where his shoulder met his neck. “It made a noise when I fell, and now when I move my shoulder, I can feel something grinding. After I fell, my tires tried to strangle me and then they flew away. But Terri here doesn’t want to hear about that part. She thinks I’m fucked up.”

“Poor Tre. Thank Goddess I’m here. For the last hour I’ve been about to go into town, but I kept feeling like there was some reason to stay. This must be the reason. Come on in, you three.”

The house had only three rooms: the main room, the kitchen, and the room where Duck and Starshine slept. Starshine had Tre lie down on the floor while Terri watched from the couch with Dolf at her side.

“I’ll scan you, and if it’s a simple break I can glue it up for you directly,” Starshine told Tre. She opened a trunk that sat by one wall and took out a device about the size and shape of a handheld vacuum cleaner. She detached a special uvvy from it and put the uvvy on her neck, then proceeded to run the device over Tre’s neck and shoulder while staring off into space.

“I’m seein’ your bones, Tre.”

“Are you using radiation?” worried Terri.

“Heck no,” said Starshine. “This is ultrasonic. My dog Planet hates when I use this thing. Did you see Planet outside, Dolf?”

“Yes,” said Dolf. “Planet’s in the garage with Duck.”

“And before I moved in, Duck said he hated dogs,” said Starshine. “That man was too solitary. The first time I saw him, I knew he was the one for me. He was tanned and callused like the carpenters and construction workers I’d been dating, but then I found out he was an artist! When I heard that , I set my cap for him. And now that we’re married, I’m working on getting him to want some kids. I’ve thought of some beautiful names. Speaking of people with cute names, how’s little Wren today?”

“Oh, she’s wavin’,” said Terri. “And Dolf here is learning to play checkers. Is Tre going to be all right?”

“I think so,” said Starshine, setting down her scanner. “Tre, old brah, you’ve snapped your collarbone is what you’ve done. Let me get out my glue gun and patch you.”

“Is it going to hurt?” asked Tre weakly. “Shouldn’t you give me some drugs?”

“You smell like you’ve already been smoking some good reefer this morning,” said Starshine teasingly. “Are you sure that’s not why you fell off your cycle and saw your tires fly away? Reminds me of something happened one time to Aarbie Kidd.”

“Oh, shut up,” snapped Tre, lying there on his back with the two women and his son looking down at him. “In the first place, the accident was caused by that guy putting some kind of weird DIMs on my tires. In the second place, pot’s not a drug. It’s an herb. It energizes me.”

“Oh yeah,” said Terri. “And when’s the last time you finished something?”

“What about my new four-dimensional Perplexing Poultry philtre, for God’s sake! That’s major!”

“Yeah, well how come it took you four years to do it!”

“Now, Terri,” said Starshine. “Let me finish healin’ him up before you start beatin’ him down. I will give you a little mist, Tre, so that you won’t feel it when I glue your break. And, Dolf, I think maybe you ought to go outside while I do this. I wouldn’t want you to get spooked and bump into me.”

“Do I have to?”

“You do what the healer says, Dolf,” said Terri. “Go out in the garage with Planet and Duck.”

“Go ahead, Dolf,” added Tre. “I’ll be all right.”

“Okay. And, Mommy, you come get me when Daddy is well.” Dolf ran out to the garage.

“He’s a sweet boy to care for his daddy that way,” said Starshine. She got a little squeezie of aerosol spray out of her healer trunk. She wafted a pulse of the spray into Tre’s nostrils. His muscles relaxed and his eyelids fluttered shut. “I know some folks that have lost everything to this mist,” continued Starshine. “It gives you mighty sweet dreams. Mist is giga worse than any silly old pot habit. And mist is nothing compared to gabba. That’s what Aarbie Kidd got into after we rode his motorcycle out here from Florida. The minute old Aarbie got to California, he got hooked on gabba and started abusing me ten times worse than he ever did back in Florida. Him and his flamehead tattoos. Thank Goddess I found Clearlight.”

Starshine’s eyes narrowed and she pulsed a bit more mist into Tre’s nostrils. “I had my chance to get free of Aarbie after he wrecked his motorcycle and asked me to heal him. Tre hasn’t been beating on you, has he, Terri? If you need some time to think things over, I can put him to sleep for a week.”

“Oh no no no, don’t do that,” said Terri. “It’s just that Tre ignores me sometimes. And I get so tired of being a wife and mother. I need a vacation is what it is. I wish I could go off by myself and surf or snowboard someplace really major and let Tre do all the housework for a change. But, oh, I shouldn’t be harshing on him while he’s hurt. Of course don’t put him to sleep for a week, are you whacked? Tre doesn’t compare to Aarbie Kidd. You get to work healing him, Starshine. And explain what you’re doing as you go along.”

“Right now I’m going to have a cup of coffee,” said Starshine. “Before I go and finish this. I’ll let Tre chill just a little deeper. One more pulse of mist.” At the final pulse, Tre’s body lost all of its muscle tone. He looked as soft as an imipolex polar bear rug.

“You want anything, Terri?” asked Starshine, ambling out to the kitchen.

“Just a glass of water, please. You’re sure Tre’s okay?”

“He’ll be fine like this for an hour or until I give him the antidote. Did I tell you I saw Aarbie again just the other day? Down near the Boardwalk. He was real friendly. Yellow stubble on his head growing out of the hearts of his flame tattoos. Lifted on gabba as usual.” Starshine clattered about in the kitchen, still talking. “What Aarbie’s up to these days is what I’d like to understand. First he said he was working for the Heritagists, and then he said he was working for the loonie moldies. He was with some skanky guy from Kentucky who kept telling him to shut up. Okeydoke, here we go.” Starshine reemerged with a cup of coffee and a glass of water.

She got something that looked like a stubby plastic pistol out of her healer trunk and set it down next to the scanner and the mister that lay next to Tre. “This is the glue gun,” said Starshine. “But first I use my hands to set the bones. Did you know that in Arabic bone-setting is al-jabar ? The word algebra comes from that. Arranging things. I learned that in my classes. Time for some healer algebra, Tre.” She laid the scanner on Tre’s chest and adjusted his collarbone with both hands. Tre moaned softly.

Terri couldn’t watch, so she looked away, letting her eyes range over the pictures on the walls—Starshine’s life-affirming Clearlight posters of plants and landscapes, along with Duck’s highly detailed oil-and-canvas fiber-for-fiber copies of high-art paintings. Duck loved dreamy late ­nineteenth-century artists such as Arnold Böcklin and Franz von Stuck and had taken the trouble to get museum-grade nanoprecise copies of some of their pictures, complete with exact wood-gilt-and-plaster copies of the frames. The largest picture was Böcklin’s Triton and Nereid , which showed a hairy guy—Triton—sitting on a rock in the sea and blowing in a conch shell. Lying flat on her back on the rock with Triton was a smiling sexy plump Nereid, toying with a huge bewhiskered sea serpent. The serpent’s back was decorated with a lovely proto-Jugendstil pattern of green-and-­yellow tessellation. Duck liked to explain the pictures to his friends.