”
“My son is not fit.”
“Maybe you don’t do him justice—”
“He’s bright, but he’s got no violence in him, and he wears his lies. He’s not fit.”
“Meredith, Allen,” says Roland, steepling his fingers. “Let’s give her a chance.”
The bearded man, Allen, straightens. “Absolutely not.”
My eyes flick to Da, craving a sign, a nod of encouragement, but he stares straight ahead.
“I can do it,” I say. “I’m not the only choice. I’m the best.”
Allen’s frown deepens. “I beg your pardon?”
“Go home, little girl,” says Meredith with a dismissive wave.
You warned me they would resist. You spent weeks teaching me how to hold my ground.
I stand taller. “Not until I’ve had my trial.”
Meredith makes a strangled sound of dismay, but Allen cuts in with,
“You’re. Not. Eligible.”
“Make an exception,” I say. Roland’s mouth quirks up.
It bolsters me. “Give me a chance.”
“You think this is a sport? A club?” snaps Meredith, and then her eyes dart to you. “What could you possibly be thinking, bringing a child into this
—
”
“I think it’s a job,” I cut in, careful to keep my voice even. “And I’m ready for it. Maybe you think you’re protecting me, or maybe you think I’m not strong enough
—
but you’re wrong.”
“You are an unfit candidate. And that is the end of it.”
“It would be, Meredith,” says Roland calmly, “if you were the only person on this panel.”
“I really can’t condone this
.…
” says Allen.
I’m losing them, and I can’t let that happen. If I lose them, I lose you. “I think I’m ready, and you think I’m not. Let’s find out who’s right.”
“Your composure is impressive.” Roland stands up. “But you are aware that not all Histories can be won with words.” He rounds the table. “Some are troublesome.” He rolls up his sleeves. “Some are violent.”
The other two Librarians are still trying to get a word in, but I don’t hear them. My focus is on Roland. Da told me to be ready for anything, and it’s a good thing he did, because between one moment and the next, Roland’s posture shifts. It’s subtle
—
his shoulders loosen, knees unlock, hands curl toward fists
—
but I see the change a fraction before he attacks. I dodge the first punch, but he’s fast, faster even than Da, and before I can strike back, a red Chuck connects with my chest, sending me to the floor. I roll back and over into a crouch, but by the time I look up, he’s gone.
I hear him the instant before his arm wraps around my throat, and manage to get one hand between us so I don’t choke. He pulls back and up, my feet leaving the ground, but the table is there and I get my foot on top and use it as leverage, pushing up and off, twisting free of his arm as I flip over his head and land behind him. He turns and I kick, aiming for his chest; but he’s too tall and my foot connects with his stomach, where he catches it. I brace myself, but he doesn’t strike back.
He laughs and lets go of my shoe, sagging against the desk. The other two Librarians sit behind him looking shocked, though I can’t tell if they’re more surprised by the fight or Roland’s good humor.
“Mackenzie,” he says, smoothing his sleeves. “Do you want this job?”
“She does not truly know what this job
is
,” says Meredith. “So she has a mouth on her and she can dodge a punch. She is a child. And this is a joke—”
Roland holds up a hand, and Meredith goes quiet. Roland’s eyes do not leave mine. They are warm. Encouraging. “Do you want this?” he asks again.
I do want it. I want you to stay. Time and disease are taking you from me. You’ve told me, made it clear, this is the only way I can keep you close. I will not lose that.
“I do,” I answer evenly.
Roland straightens. “Then I approve the naming.”
Meredith makes a stifled sound of dismay.
“She held composure against
you
, Meredith, and that is something,” says Roland, and finally his smile breaks through. “And as for her fighting, I’m in the best position to judge, and I say she has merit.” He looks past me, to you. “You’ve raised quite a girl, Antony.” He glances over at Allen. “What do you say?”
The bearded Librarian raps his fingers on the table, eyes unfocused.
“You can’t actually be considering
…
” mutters Meredith.
“If we do this, and she proves herself unfit in any way,” says Allen, “she will forfeit the position.”
“And if she proves unfit,” adds Meredith, “you, Roland, will remove her yourself.”
Roland smiles at the challenge.
I step forward. “I understand,” I say, as loud as I dare.
Allen stands slowly. “Then I approve the naming.”
Meredith glowers for a moment before standing too. “I am overruled, and as such, I must approve the naming.”
Only then does your hand come to rest against my shoulder. I can feel your pride in your fingertips. I smile.
I will show them all.
For you.
SIX
I YAWN AS ROLANDleads me back through the Archive. I’ve been here for hours, and I can tell I’m running out of night. My bones ache from sitting on the floor, but it was worth it for a little time with Ben.
Not Ben, I know. Ben’s shelf .
I roll my shoulders, stiff from leaning so long against the stacks, as we wind back through the corridors and into the atrium. Several Librarians dot the space, busy with ledgers and notepads and even, here and there, open drawers. I wonder if they ever sleep. I look up at the arched stained glass, darker now, as if there were a night beyond. I take a deep breath and am starting to feel better, calmer, when we reach the front desk.
A man with gray hair, black glasses, and a stern mouth behind a goatee is waiting for us. Roland’s music has been shut off.
“Patrick,” I say. Not my favorite Librarian. He’s been here nearly as long as I have, and we rarely see eye to eye.
The moment he catches sight of me, his mouth turns down.
“Miss Bishop,” he scolds. He’s Southern, but he’s tried to obliterate his drawl by being curt, cutting his consonants sharp. “We try to discourage such recurrent disobedience.”
Roland rolls his eyes and claps Patrick on the shoulder.
“She’s not doing any harm.”
Patrick glares at Roland. “She not doing any good, either. I should report her to Agatha.” His gaze swivels to me. “Hear that? I should report you.”
I don’t know who this Agatha is, but I’m fairly certain I don’t want to know.
“Restrictions exist for a reason, Miss Bishop. There are no visiting hours. Keepers do not attend to the Histories here. You are not to enter the stacks without good reason. Are we clear?”
“Of course.”
“Does that mean you will cease this futile and rather tiresome pursuit?”
“Of course not.”
A cough of a laugh escapes from Roland, along with a wink. Patrick sighs and rubs his eyes, and I can’t help but feel a bit victorious. But when he reaches for his notepad, my spirits sink. The last thing I need is a demerit on my record. Roland sees the gesture, too, and brings his hand down lightly on Patrick’s arm.
“On the topic of attending to Histories,” he offers, “don’t you have one to catch, Miss Bishop?”
I know a way out when I see it.
“Indeed,” I say, turning toward the door. I can hear the two men talking in low, tense voices, but I know better than to look back.
I find and return twelve-year-old Thomas Rowell, fresh enough out that he goes without many questions, let alone a fight. Truth be told, I think he is just happy to find someone in the dark halls, as opposed to some thing . I spend what’s left of the night testing every door in my territory. By the time I finish, the halls—and several spots on the floor—are scribbled over with chalk. Mostly X’s, but here and there a circle. I work my way back to my two numbered doors, and discover a third, across from them, that opens with my key.
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