Alyson Noël - Saving Zoë

She pulls a pack of cigarettes from her purse and settles herself onto the ground, sitting Indian style at their feet. “Somebody give me a light,” she says, offering the pack to me, as the other guy, the one I’m assuming is “Hot Jason,” leans toward her with a burning match.

I shake my head as I watch her inhale, then release it back through her nose and mouth like an angry cartoon bull. Making sure to shift just ever so slightly, so that the V of her low-cut sweater is aimed straight at Jason — who’s aiming for slick but nailing seedy, and who’s definitely old enough to know better.

It’s weird how she acts like this around me, yet plays it so straight at school. Like last night, when she was drinking, only I saw how much. And I’m willing to bet I’m the only one who knows about the smoking, the cleavage flaunting, and how she’s hoping to cheat on Sean with this loser.

“How’s your little boyfriend? What’s his name? Sam?” asks Tom, who’s already been called an asshole, and now seems intent on proving it.

“His name is Sean, you moron. And he’s not my boyfriend, we just hang sometimes.” She glances quickly at Jason, with his slicked-back, longish blond hair, faded Levis, motorcycle boots, dark T-shirt, and black leather jacket. And I realize he seems really familiar, though I can’t imagine why.

“You go there too?” Tom asks, kicking his foot in my general direction, as opposed to, oh, I don’t know, gesturing politely or addressing me by name.

“Bella Vista? Urn, yeah,” I say, feeling pretty squeamish under his heavy, judgmental gaze, and wondering not for the first time, why I’m still here.

“That school sucks. Principal Hames is a fucking loser! L-O-S-E-R,” he says, pumping his beer-gripping fist in the air, proving he can spell.

I just stand there, not agreeing, not denying, not saying a word. Just trying to avoid the secondhand smoke while plotting my escape.

“You leaving soon?” he asks, dragging on his cigarette and sipping his beer, going from beer to cigarette, from cigarette to beer, barely taking a break in between.

“Bella Vista? No, I just started,” I say, looking at Teresa who’s ignoring me now, since she’s too busy flirting with Jason.

“No, I mean now. You’re just standing there like you’ve got an appointment or something.” He sips his beer and laughs. “At least drop your bag and relax. It’s not like we’re gonna hurt you. Unless you want us to.” He narrows his eyes, giving me a long, leisurely once-over, starting at my Converse tennis shoes and working his way to the top of my head.

“Oh, no, I just…” I gaze at Teresa who’s still ignoring me, then I turn back toward the way we came. I mean, not to be a prude, but I don’t like this scene. And not to be a freak, but I’m getting a really bad vibe.

“You guys got any more beer?” Teresa asks, getting the attention back on her, which believe me, is where we both want it. “I need a little hair of the dog. I swear I have like the worst hangover, ever. Echo and I got totally wasted last night, and I need some relief.” She stands, moving toward Jason and grabbing his beer, tilting her head back and

swinging her long blond hair as she guzzles.

“Want some?” she says, turning to me, her eyes wide and shiny, her mouth wet and open.

But I just shake my head and look away, cringing as my overloaded backpack carves a long, deep groove into the top of my shoulder.

“Your friend’s a real blast,” Tom says, tossing his bottle toward the silver metal trash can, not bothering to get up and retrieve it when it ricochets off the side and rolls across the grass.

Then just as I’m about to tell him to go pound sand (or something much worse), Jason flicks his lit cigarette right at him and goes, “Shut the fuck up.” Then his eyes move over to me, embarking on an unhurried cruise along my skinny, undeveloped body, until finally coming to rest upon mine. “I knew your sister,” he says, reaching for another beer, flipping the top, and nodding. Smiling as he pulls Teresa close, pressing her hard against him, and sliding his hand down her back until he reaches her butt and squeezes. His eyes never once wavering from mine.

I watch as Teresa gazes up at him and giggles, then i turn and walk away. Feeling angry with her for dragging me here, but even angrier with myself for staying.

“Echo, wait! Shit. You guys, I’ll be right back,” Teresa says, running to catch up with me. “Where the hell are you going?” she whispers, tugging on my jacket, as I pick up the pace, doing my best to ignore her. “Echo, jeez, don’t be mad.”

I shake my head and walk even faster, ’til I’m just short of running. I hate when people do that. I hate when they put you in a really bad position and then tell you how you should feel about it.

“Seriously, slow down, please? Just give me a sec to explain,” she pleads.

I swing around and face her, making no attempt to hide my anger.

“Listen, I know Tom’s kind of an asshole, and I probably should’ve warned you. I’m sorry, okay?”

“Kind of an asshole?” I look at her and shake my head. “Oh my God, you weren’t trying to set me up with him, were you?” My eyes go wide, having just now thought of that totally disgusting possibility.

But she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I know you’re all into Parker, and I would never try to mess with that. It’s just that I really, really, really like Jason. I mean I really like him. Don’t you think he’s cute?” she asks, moving right past me and back to her. Going from apology to confession in zero to five seconds.

“Honestly? I think he’s creepy. Not to mention old” I say, far too mad to even care what she thinks.

“But that’s why I like him.” She shrugs. “He’s got a car, money, and ten times the maturity of all the guys at school put together.”

“Teresa, he’s a drug dealer” I say, not entirely sure of this, but still convinced that it’s true. “He’s bad news. Trust me, you don? want to get involved with him.”

But she just sucks on her cigarette and squints at me, and it’s clear she’s chosen not to listen. “You don’t even know him. You just met him like, ten minutes ago.”

I watch as she shakes her head and rolls her eyes, even though everything she just said is wrong. I mean, even though I haven’t actually “met” him until now, that doesn’t mean I don’t know about him. But it’s not like I’m gonna explain that to her, since it’s not like she’d even listen if I tried. The only thing I want to do is just get the heck out of here. Now.

“Listen,” I finally say. “You’re right. It probably is none of my business. But maybe you should ask yourself why some twenty-five-year-old guy is hanging out with and supplying beer and drugs to a fifteen-year-old girl. I mean, come on, Teresa.” But when I look at her, her eyes are blazing. And instead of persuading her, I’ve just made her mad.

“Okay, first of all, he’s twenty-four, not twenty-five. And second, you only saw him give me a light and a beer. That’s all. So you better not go telling people anything other than that. In fact, you better not go telling them anything at all. You also shouldn’t be so judgmental. I mean, he was friends with your sister.”

I look at her, standing before me, feeling so righteous even though she couldn’t be more wrong. “He knew my sister, but he was never her friend,” I say, glaring at her. “Believe me, there’s a difference.”

But she just rolls her eyes and flicks her ash to the ground, the gray and black particles hovering briefly before clinging to her feet. “Listen,” she says, grabbing my arm just as I start to walk away. “No need to mention any of this at school, okay? I mean, it’s not like it’s anybody’s business, and I don’t want Sean to get all upset and get the wrong idea. All right?” She looks at me, her face showing fear for the first time today.