Robert Sheckley - A Strange But Familiar Country

He thought of going underground. But he'd already seen, on the previous day, that the kitchens were down there, and by the wails he heard, he knew there were other people to whom the ogre had made the same offer.

He dined with the ogre that night, and the cousin was there, more flirtatious than ever. When the ogre went to get another bottle of wine and they had a chance alone, she breathlessly told him he was the only man for her, and that she was determined they will marry next month. The youth didn't think he'd live to see next month. He wanted to explain his situation, but the ogre returned before he could tell her.

She evaded him again at the end of the dinner, and Denis and returned alone again to his hotel.

He spent the last safe day moping around and trying to think his position through.

Suffice it to say that the evening of the fourth day arrived. Denis had remembered a story his school teacher back home once told him. In one of his discourses, the Buddha made a simile, asking if a dying man would hold off treatment while he found out who poisoned him, and by what means.

Denis didn't know how this pertained to his case, but he thought maybe it did, and he also thought the Buddha may have been wrong, or the story wrongly ascribed to him. It seemed to the youth that sometimes you needed to know what the disease was before you could make a treatment for it.

He wasn't sure what to make of this, but hoped something would come to him.

That night he went to the ogre for the fourth and final time.

The ogre led him to the dining room, and said, "At least we can have a glass of wine together before the unpleasantness." The girl was not there.

"She said she had another appointment," the ogre said.

"Ah," said Denis.

"Yes, it's a disappointment. She seems quite taken with you."

"She's the loveliest thing I've ever seen."

"Yes, she is, isn't she? Doesn't get it from my side of the family!" The ogre poured the wine. They drank. The ogre said, "As long as we're having a drink, might as well have some snacks." Appetizers appeared. Then a main course was brought on without explanation. Denis ate. The ogre seemed disturbed about something.

The youth asked if something was wrong.

"This is a little embarrassing," the ogre says. "You remember that fellow in the white hat who stared at you so rudely the other day? That was my head cook who wanted to get an idea of your size before cooking you. Well, everything was ready, the right size pot was procured, I was going to have you parboiled with a white sauce--there's something fishy about you, no insult intended--but then the wretched fellow had to fall ill. He can't cook tonight. But he's planned it again, three days from now, and he swears nothing will stand in the way. If necessary, if he's not well enough, he will have his nephew slaughter and cook you, and make the white sauce. The nephew is not as good a cook, but at least he's healthy and reliable. This being the case, you might as well meet my cousin tomorrow. She wanted you to know she'll be at the little bridge over the river at noon, and she'd be delighted to see you."

"I thank you for your hospitality," Denis said. "But if you will release me from your kingdom, I really think I'd like to be on my way. And you can play your tricks on someone else. And that goes for your cousin, too. By the way, I think I know your name now."

"How did you figure it out?"

"I considered your characteristics. You are generous, but cruel. You do favors, but in order for the recipient to feel greater loss thereafter. You are the lord of confusion and ambiguity. Who would fit those characteristics? Only Fear, which is your name."

"Well, you're right. I don't think I mentioned that if you guess my name, you are free of me. But perhaps you'll agree there's a lot out there to fear."

"No," said Denis. "There's very little out there to fear. But a lot in here"--he tapped his head--"there's a lot to fear. And you can tell your cousin that I never want to see her again."

"Do you know her name, too?"

"Yes. She is Disappointment."