Paul Collins - Trouble Wizard

Winston smiled sickly when he saw Gilbon. The dragon's huge frame blocked all light from outside.

Beside Gilbon stood a young girl in a lobster outfit. Winston's smile faded.

"Well," Gilbon said, "lost your manners or something? Haven't you ever seen a girl in stovepiping? And it's cold out here, don't you know. Speak up man!"

"The master's out hunting dragons," Winston said. He wished he were someplace else.

"Probably looking for me," Gilbon said, goodnaturedly. But then his eyes narrowed and suspicion stole over his face.

Shantele groaned as a preternatural cold wind swept in from the darkening cliff. Of all the chelas he could have employed, he had chosen Winston. Damn the boy's mother! He'd been positively coaxed into apprenticing Winston. The young fool had the knack of saying and doing everything wrong!

"Shut that confounded door!" Shantele screeched maniacally. "Can't you tell a stalking wind when you see one?"

Winston winced. He hurriedly beckoned the pair in and slammed the great oaken door shut. He grimaced as a hissing noise fled under the door.

Shantele rolled his eyes when he saw Gilbon and the knight. "Gilbon, you old rascal," he said jovially enough; yet he directed a withering glare at Winston.

"This is Jackie," Gilbon said.

Shantele scrutinized the girl. Rather a pretty thing, he thought: blue antelope eyes and upturned nose dominating a round face cropped with ragged coal-black hair. There was a certain fierce quality about her that was usually attributed to fanatics. She wasn't exactly what he'd expected, but... a girl driven by desperation could work wonders, he mentally concluded.

"As I was saying," Gilbon said, annoyed at Shantele's overt observation of his guest, "Jackie's got this minor problem." And he went on to explain about Jackie's father being ill and some spooky Voice that talked utter nonsense.

"So if you can throw a get well spell over Jackie's father," Gilbon said innocently, "we'll be on our way."

"Throw a spell over Jackie's father?" Shantele cried theatrically. "What do you think this is, 'Make A Wish'?"

Gilbon's jaw dropped. "That's very uncharitable, Shanny! I know! The Wizards' Guild is after you again,"

he genuinely commiserated. "After all you did for them against that Perdurabo and his hordes!"

"They'll hound me to the very ends of the earth I shouldn't wonder!" Shantele complained. "Such is their

desire to see me ruined!"

"Ruined?" Gilbon gasped. "No!"

"It appears the wretches believe I have some powerful new weapon at my disposal and even as we speak plans are underway to stamp me underfoot!"

"You do look a little pale," Gilbon sympathized.

Suddenly the wizard swiped at the air and clapped his hands three times consecutively. There was a loud bang, followed by a sudden silence.

"A loose spell," Shantele said as though to prove the point. "The Wizards' Guild send them my way every now and then hoping to catch me napping."

"Well perhaps we'd best be off," Gilbon said a little too hurriedly.

"Gilbon could huff and puff and scorch the Wizards' Guild," Jackie suggested naively.

Shantele raised an eyebrow. "Huff and puff, yes - but scorch?" he smiled coldly.

"We must be off!" Gilbon said emphatically. He fixed Jackie with an icy stare as he trundled to the door.

"But what about my father's cure?" Jackie said querulously. She stood her ground with stolid determination.

"Heavens above," Shantele muttered. "Stand aside, young woman. Winston, assist if you will!"

In the flickering candle-light, Jackie watched the mage and his chela sprinkle scented herbs from leaden coffers, read occult symbols from dried parchment, tinker with thingummyjigs and thingummybobs.

All the while Gilbon kept an eye out for loose spells; he didn't have the faintest idea what they looked like, although suspected they came from under doors.

At length, Shantele cried, "Aha! Just the thing for your father. You realize of course," he said shrewdly, facing Jackie, "that the Voice requires the brain for other, more arcane purposes? I mean, your father's ailment is no doubt induced by the Voice as a means to obtain a brain?"

"No," Jackie said slowly. "I didn't know that."

"The ways of Voices are many and varied," Shantele pontificated. "And must be obeyed!" he added, ushering Jackie to the door, where Gilbon was waiting impatiently. "Simply give this dragon brain - or rather, imitation brain - "

"I say," Gilbon interrupted. He shuffled forward and squinted down his snout. "The Voice'll never believe that's a dragon brain. It's far too small!"

"Oh?" Shantele observed Gilbon's head and then compared it with the jar's contents.

"You can be so callous," Gilbon said caustically. "Come, Jackie. We must away. Darkness gathers!"

Jackie stopped at the doorway. "If there's anything I can do to repay the favour Master Wizard..." she said.

Shantele beamed at the thought. "Indeed, indeed!"

"See you, Shanny!"

"Yes, yes," Shantele said and slammed the door shut. He turned to Winston and a wicked gleam shone from his eyes. "I do believe I've created the maggot that will eat the worm!"

"So the knight I found is going to work out?" Winston asked.

"With much fine tuning, mayhap, mayhap!" the wizard sang as he bustled off to the back of his ornate cave, whereupon he commenced work amidst gales of laughter.

Outside, deep inside the encroaching night, Gilbon and Jackie wove their way down the perilous gravel track.

"Did you hear that?" Jackie asked, full of awe.

"I do believe it was Shanny having a laugh," he said nervously.

***

The moon had traveled right across the sky by the time Jackie and Gilbon reached a thatch cottage squatting on a lonely hillside.

"I say," Gilbon said uncomfortably. "It looks terribly deserted. Somewhat like a picked bone, don't you think?"

"DAD?" Jackie screamed and ran up the craggy slope.

"Wait up, Jackie!" Gilbon called after her and with great pounding strides he tore after the girl.

Gilbon reared up short of the cottage. A tiny whirlwind was gathering in the doorway. It whizzed and hissed furiously as it gathered force. Then arrowswift it fled the homestead and zoomed past Gilbon.

The dragon ducked and cursed. He timidly poked his snout into the narrow doorway. "Jackie? he called.

"What on earth was that?"

"The Voice," Jackie said despondently.

"Voices aren't real!" Gilbon snorted.

"That one is," Jackie said gloomily.

"I don't see your father anywhere," Gilbon said.

"The Voice snatched the brain and said Dad recovered and fled into the bush. He could be anywhere!"

she despaired.

"Oh," Gilbon said. "Well let's go find him, girl." He draped a fatherly paw across her heaving shoulder. "I think we'd better go now. There's something about this place that I don't like." He looked about nervously. "Something... supernatural," he added with a shiver.

***

Shantele pulled back from his scrying glass and smiled. "All coming along perfectly," he gloated, rubbing his podgy hands.

Winston eyed the jar next to Shantele's workbench. "But why did you give Jackie the sheep brain if you wanted your sprite to get it back?"

"Winston, Winston, Winston," Shantele said in a tired voice. "I worry about you, I really do. There was nothing the matter with Jackie's father that a simple ill-lock spell didn't fix. Common enough spell really.

Used mostly by the Wizards' Guild to keep the peasants down. The brain was merely a prop, which is the basis of all conjuring tricks!" He thumbed his temples in contemplation. "Now that Jackie and Gilbon are adventuring in pursuit of Jackie's father, I may well have provided the ball impetus to roll!"

"I see," Winston said slowly. But he didn't. Not at all.