Vladimir Orlov - Danilov the Violist

"Your name was not mentioned," Karmadon said. "You can stop worrying."

"You mean they don't know about the duel?"

"They know about the duel."

"If they know about the duel, they know about me."

"I did not give your name!" Karmadon shouted.

"Thanks for that."

"And the word 'duel' was not spoken. It was thought but not spoken."

"And I mentioned Bek Leonovich in the diner!" thought Danilov sadly.

"I don't regret a thing," Karmadon said. "I don't regret breaking the rules and shooting ahead of you. You must understand that."

Danilov was going to argue, but then thought better of it.

"But I should have shot with conviction!" Karmadon said. "Then I would have been forgiven. No demotion. Everyone would have respected me! And I would have respected myself. But that shot was pathetic."

"Pathetic?!" Danilov said. "You shot a thousand compressed suns at me!"

"Pathetic," Karmadon said. "If you still exist, it was pathetic. I didn't have the strength for anything more."

"You know best," Danilov agreed politely. Then he asked, "Where are the seconds?"

"They were witnesses!" Karmadon said sharply.

"I understand that," Danilov said. "However, forgive my persistence, but I am concerned about the fate of Bek Leonovich. I'm not responsible for Sinezud, but I dragged Bek Leonovich into this affair, and I had promised him that nothing would happen to him."

"I did not bring you here to discuss the fate of a house spirit!"

"That doesn't matter," Danilov said firmly.

"Well, all right! They took off. It's possible they flew into the black hole you're not mentioning. Most likely they're in another universe, not connected to ours in any way. But if you have the opportunity, why not try to bring them back from there?"

"I will," Danilov said, ignoring Karmadon's sarcasm.

"What if they're happier there?"

"It's possible," Danilov said with a nod.

"Enough about them!" Karmadon said.

His goblet was full again. Karmadon drank greedily, and the liquid spilled on his gray suede camisole. Danilov tried to avoid looking at Karmadon. He did not like seeing his mutilated face.

"That woman ... how is she?" Karmadon asked.

Danilov was certain that Karmadon meant Natasha. He was constantly afraid that they might be overheard, even though he assumed that Karmadon had no reason to arrange a witness to this conversation, and probably he had selected a safe and secret place. But Danilov's eyes still searched all the corners.

"Don't be afraid," Karmadon spoke loudly. "No one is listening to us. I know where to take you."

"Maybe so," thought Danilov. "And maybe not."

"I wasn't joking then," Karmadon said. "And I wasn't testing you. I thought that you weren't serious about her. And I really did need her."

"Let's drop this," Danilov said grimly.

"I think about her even now."

"I think continuing this conversation is useless."

Karmadon drained the goblet again.

"Yes, I understand," he shouted, "that's not manly! Yes, I'm pathetic, I'm weak! My motto used to be 'Nothing in excess,' but what is it now? Do you remember our conversation in Ostankino?"

Danilov was tense. He was thinking only that this conversation could harm Natasha. He wasn't paying attention to Karmadon, and realized only that Karmadon had asked him a question, so he nodded.

"I said then that impotence comes from knowledge. From knowledge! You argued with me."

"I remember," Danilov said. "But I haven't had any occasion to be convinced that you're right. The theory doesn't worry me much."

"That's because you're young!"

"I'm your age!"

"You're young! Aces age faster. You just sit quietly on your planet. But think how many civilizations and other kinds of systems I've had to deal with! Think what it cost me! Think how much I learned!"

"But when we graduated you were given the Big Revelation," Danilov interjected carefully.

"That's just the point," Karmadon blazed. "A lot of what I've learned does not correspond to the Big Revelation!"

Karmadon checked himself, and now he, as Danilov had before him, looked around.

"And I've forgotten the details of the Big Revelation," Karmadon added, not so much decisively as meekly.

But very quickly he grew nervous and loud once again. "Knowledge has worn me out, but I can't do anything about it. I'm as greedy as before. Even if I transfer to disabled veterans and start growing mandragora, I won't be able to settle down. Now I'm in a civilization of an elementary particle and I'm spinning like a top there. I have to get back to being an ace with a special assignment. I don't need this crooked face. So I have to prove that I'm still the same. That I'm harder and more evil than before. However, just try confounding a civilization of such tiny things. Change its course! Those teensy things, which are invisible to you, and more refined and pedantic than most creatures with which I've dealt. It's quite possible that I will disgrace myself in this microcosmos and never go back to being an ace. Even now I'm disgraced: You're alive, and my face is crooked!"

He dropped his head on his arms and grew quiet.

A few seconds earlier Danilov recalled the big blue bull, how he had stuck the bone through the crack in the crystal vault and scratched the animal's back. He wanted to ask why Karmadon had chosen to be a blue bull on Earth, but he did not dare ask.

Karmadon sensed his thoughts and looked up.

"Yes! Yes! I wanted to get into the skin of the big blue bull, to feel like a superdemon, to know what to do next. Look what happened!"

He stopped talking and then changed the subject.

"Every element is the primary source of something else, which is connected to it but different. Earth is the soil for trees and plants; water for minerals and rocks; and air for winds, snows, and rains. One is transformed into the other.

I am an element, too. But for what am I the primary source?"

Danilov was familiar with this reasoning. He must have read it in his lyceum textbooks. It had seemed naive to him then and irrelevant. But Karmadon had his own views of the world, and why should he look down on them?

"For what am I the primary source?" Karmadon continued. "Sooner or later I will be transformed into something. But into what?"

"Why be transformed? It's not obligatory -- "

"Ah! What do you know?" Karmadon waved him off.

"It's nerves," he said. "Your personal and job problems are getting on your nerves."

"What are you talking about?" Karmadon grimaced. "What about this? ... I create floods and eruptions, explosions of deadly materials, blood, burning, hatred of brother for brother. But after I leave, then gradually, not all at once, everything will flourish powerfully and luxuriantly, like wheat on compost... It's as if I merely gave a push to the development I wanted to slow down... So are those cataclysms necessary? And to whom? To me? To them? First you have the destruction, and then comes the development we abhor, flowers and colors, music..."

"Aren't you exaggerating the capabilities of the Nine Layers?" Danilov said. "Aren't the civilizations the cause of their own cataclysms?"

"Even if I am exaggerating ... are we abetting something or harming it? Is our presence in the universe necessary, and if so, why? Or is it all just a game, devoid of meaning? I'm confused..."

"I have my own view of things, but you are unlikely to be swayed from your opinions right now."

"I don't need an adviser," Karmadon said.

"Then why did you bring me here?"

"I don't know. I'm lonely. My relatives and influential friends, even though they did everything to help, are cold to me, if not downright disdainful. My scholarly brother New Mar-garit considers me nonexistent. And even though you are basically no one to me, just a demon on contract, you suit me fine. I whine and am pathetic, but now I feel better. Maybe I can forget my trouble and no one will remind me of it. You're with me now. But soon you'll die."