Leena Likitalo: The Five Daughters of the Moon

That swan has become my companion. I have lost some of my own memories, but gained ones that aren’t mine. At times I imagine I have wings and remember only when I move my arms that I will never be able to take to the air again. At times I tilt my head, only to find my neck too short. At times I think of nesting.

I lift the teacup to my lips and close my eyes. It was my own choice to swallow the witch’s potion, though she warned me of the price. I will not cry. I will not fret. It was I who made the decision. No one else.

“The train is slowing speed,” Sibilia says.

I realize it then, too. How long did I dwell on my thoughts, in my regrets? Elise’s braid is complete, a red-gold crown circling her head. Too long.

I take a deep breath and lower the cup onto the saucer. The moment we have awaited for weeks is upon us at last. That is all that matters. “Gather around me, my sisters. Come and hear my plan.”

For a moment, they just stare at me. Gray eyes, brown eyes, dark eyes. Elise quickly picks up the silver mirror and slips it inside her dress. Sibilia pockets the comb and claims the book of scriptures with the fountain pen clipped against its spine. Merile dashes to me, Alina at her heels, the dogs bouncing after them.

“Finally!” Merile gasps, beaming at me. The rest of us have paled during our confinement, but her skin still bears the hue of endless summer days. “I thought you’d never tell us.”

I smile at her despite myself. She is eleven and impatient. She deserves to run through meadows with her dogs, unguarded, unrestricted. “But now I will.”

My sisters listen in unwavering silence as I outline my plan to them. It is based on the routines we have established during our weeks of imprisonment. Since Alina’s seizure, we have been allowed out to stretch our legs while the train is refueled and watered. There are three reasons for this: the guards think us docile now; the unrests never reached this far north; and, finally, they fear how the gagargi would react if we were to succumb to the ill health that I hinted might follow if we were kept indoors for too long. Elise has a fourth reason, one I am not quite sure I believe. She claims the guards think that they are keeping us contained for our own safety, that they are… protecting us. Could the gagargi really enforce such by tampering with a man’s mind? If that is the case, there is even more reason for us to abandon this train today.

“I have something for each of you.” I pull the pearl bracelets out from the pockets I added to my gown the night before. What once was Elise’s ball gown is now our means for funding our escape. “Keep them hidden. Use them only when you must.”

Elise knew of this part of my plan. There is more: the necklaces made of silver sequins. She raises her right eyebrow at me, but doesn’t ask aloud. She can guess the answer. I am saving the sequins and my dress in case… No, we shall not fail. But a wise empress always has a contingency plan.

Alina snatches her bracelet and loops it twice around her thin wrist. She raises her hand up and admires it, beaming. “It’s very pretty!”

Sibilia turns the bracelet in her hands. Ink stains her pale skin, but doesn’t dim the sheen of the pearls. “What is one pearl worth?”

“We are the Daughters of the Moon. There are those who revere us and will refuse to take any payment. But there are also those who seek to gain profit from the distress of others, even ours. We may be able to count on goodwill, but we must prepare ourselves to also act cunningly when the need arises. One pearl is worth as much as those willing to help us decide.”

The train shrieks a steamy hiss. Sibilia climbs on the divan, on her knees, and peeks out through the crack between the once-white curtains. As I am sitting opposite to her, I catch a glimpse as well.

This town of Fornavav is as I have read from the notes of the imperial messengers. Here houses beaten gray by the winds border the one narrow street. Farther away, small farms dot the flat fields that snow covers for half of the year. The sky is blue, cloudless. It is a cold and quiet day outside.

“We divide into our usual groups,” I say. “Elise, you lead Merile and Alina.”

“And Rafa and Mufu,” Merile adds, squatting down to pet the dogs in turns. “Yes, my dear sillies, we would never abandon you!”

Sibilia rolls her eyes. She would be glad to leave the dogs here. Alone. Though fifteen and a half already, at times she acts immature. I can’t count on her maturing fast enough to become an empress in the case… No, I will not think of that either. We should and we will adhere to the established routine. “Sibilia, you come with me.”

As the train slows down, we lounge by the marble-topped table, waiting for the guards to come. Remnants of tea slosh in the cups. I catch a whiff of the smoky scent. It reminds me of the home we had to leave behind because I failed my family. The least I can do is to ensure that one day my sisters can return to the halls and hallways where they belong.

The train stutters to a halt. Tea spills over my cup’s edge, onto the saucer. The stain is shaped like a crescent.

“What if they won’t let us out?” Merile clutches Mufu against her chest. The charcoal gray dog licks her face with ardor. Sibilia cringes.

What if they don’t? Then I will have to argue our way out. This is the plan I conceived the night the gagargi’s spell broke. The letters I wrote in the carriage on my way back to the palace. The hawks I released to carry my plea to my seed. By coincidence and luck, both the ill kind and the good kind, the pieces that were missing earlier have somehow materialized.

Though my seed never replied. How could he? But in him I trust, for he is the one the Moon sent for my mother when I needed to be conceived.

“They will let us out,” I say in such a serene tone that my sisters have no choice but to believe in me. This is the power I have. This is the power each one of them must eventually learn.

Minutes pass, and my heart races. What is taking the guards so long? Why haven’t they come for us yet? Why has the established routine been broken?

My sisters trust in me. If I were to show any sign of nervousness or distress, they would soon lose their composure. I must not fidget with my bracelet. I must not smooth my hem too often. I may only continue to smile in the tranquil way that leads people to believe that I know more than they do, that indicates that everything is in order.

At last, the door creaks open. Captain Janlav enters, our blankets heaped over his arm. “Time for a brief walk, daughters.”

Alina and Merile run to him. And he… he laughs, head bent back, moustache vibrating. Elise, still sitting beside me, closes her eyes with a sigh so soft, so tender. Though Captain Janlav has forgotten her… It is as if a part of my sister wants to stay with him. Even if he is our captor, and hence due to report everything he sees and hears to the gagargi.

“Here you go, little Daughter of the Moon.” Captain Janlav hands Alina her blanket. Merile snatches hers from his arms. Rafa and Mufu bounce against him, waiting to be dressed up in their coats that are no longer quite white.

While Alina and Merile fuss with the dogs, I get up from my chair. Elise and Sibilia follow my example. I accept my blanket and so does Sibilia. But Elise halts before Captain Janlav and then slowly turns around as if she were waiting for him to wrap the blanket around her shoulders.

I don my blanket, curious to see if manners take precedence over his orders. I meet Elise’s gaze, and it is a calculating one. She isn’t doing this because she yearns for his attention. This is a test, I realize. To see if he…

He helps my sister to position the blanket around her shoulders just so, eager to assist her when he can. It is sometimes easy to forget who he is. A turncoat. The man who betrayed my family. But his manners aren’t ill. He believes in the cause that the gagargi whispered in the people’s ear. He believes he is on the right side. I can’t blame him for that.